The Girl Who Is Never Approached

I feel so sad and forever alone because guys never approach me and I have never dated and I don't understand. I am 5'6 and weigh 125 lbs and I don't think I am ugly. I have a babyface and since I am thin, some people think I look younger than my age (I am 21 but some people think I look 14!). I even one time ended up talking to a guy and he assumed I had a boyfriend, when I said no, he was in shock. He said I am a very beautiful girl and that he sees ugly women with bfs all the time. Strangers (both men and women) tell me I am pretty/beautiful.
However, I am never the girl that is approached for dates or for my number in public anywhere! Unless men only approach ‘easy women’, and I guess I would not be classified as ‘easy.’ One time a guy cold approached and hit on a girl by asking for her number while I was standing right in front of her. This really hurt my esteem because I never get this type of attention. I keep doubting my attractiveness and that there is a possibility that i am not as attractive as some people say I am because no guys ever approach me for dates or to hit on me. They only say I am beautiful in the street and keep walking or when I happen to be in a conversation with a guy, he will tell me I am beautiful. Or, once in a blue moon, I see a guy stare at me openly and it looks like he is about to approach me but he never does it. I once caught a random guy staring at me in a train station and he looked away in embarrassment.

I don't understand why guys aren't interested enough to approach me directly for my number or dates?

 

Do you ever smile?
I mean, if I am looking at a lady and she looks at me, furrows her brow, scowls a little like what are you looking at me for, I would not approach.

Women today make it hard on us guys. Feminism has been taken too far. Women have taken on the roles that have been traditionally a mans role. Women can approach men too, yet you want men to approach you. You want to be persued? Being just a mother in today's society is considered a very unworthy career path to choose, when I believe it is the Nobelist of professions, yet other women look down on Mothers. i have found that compliments to women often leads to it being called harassment or classified as out if line, Now we are being told that we can not call a female, female, a woman, a lady, she or anything that defines her based on her genitals.

Saying your hair looks nice can lead to being told you are objectifying women.

Nice jacket = he is looking at my tits.
Nice hair = he is sizing me up and thinking about what color my pubes are.
I like hot chocolate = he is making reference to my skin color and calling me hot,
sexual harassment,

Try smiling and saying hello. You will have to be more assertive if you want to get a man. Ask him out. Ask for his number. We have come to expect rejection.

 

There is only one thing to do, post your picture on here so we can evaluate further.

Where do you go where you think guys would approach you? I never approach women in markets, parks etc unless maybe theyre wearing a nice fragrance that I like. Like me, maybe you have resting bitch face and people think you're mean. I cant keep track of the amount of times someone has said to me "man when i first met/saw you I thought you were gonna be mean cuz u always looked pissed so i never talked to you". But really, it could be a number of things and this question isn't one that really has an answer. Maybe next time you can just straight up ask someone why they didn't approach you.

 

Rather than posting a pic here, I think you should send me a pic by PM, so that you can maintain your privacy

 

This happened to me with one of my best friends. She was definitely not attractive.

I wondered and wondered what the difference was.


I smiled and laughed as much as she did, but maybe in a different way.


In retrospect, I think I put off a vibe that I was someone to be taken seriously and she put off the vibe that she was down for anything that came her way.

 

Men fear rejection and if you are already pretty they might assume you are taken. It's a hard question to answer because every guy is different. You can try talking to them first. Men really do wish this happened to them more often anyway.

 

When men stop you on the street to tell you you're beautiful they are approaching you. It is probably something in your reaction that makes them decide to keep walking instead of continuing to talk to you.

But also as someone mentioned above most places you go in every day life aren't really going to be the type of places where guys pick you up. Mostly being hit on in any serious way only happens in bars and even then depends on other factors besides being beautiful. If you look bored or like you're not having any fun/dont want to talk to anyone then guys aren't going to think you look approachable.

 

Try a couple of reputable dating sites, it's the only way some of us ever meet girls. Check out some of the profiles other girls your age have put up just to get an idea of what to put in your profile, but don't cut and paste obviously...you want to stand out in some way. Have a friend with some experience help you out with it also, and include some good pictures of yourself, the more the better. I bet you get more responses than you'd think.

 

I didn't think guys approaching random women for a date was a thing that actually happened anymore. Like was mentioned above, women usually get really pissed off if a guy tries that.

 

Have hope. My wife was like you. 4' 11" 80lbs. but men never approached her. Perhaps because she was the size of a 12 year old or that she had to make her own clothes since no petite sizes existed in the 60's. She was a virgin at 20 and the only one of her friends who never had a steady boyfriend and any type of sex. She was the runt of the litter and yet was cute.

I met my wife on a train and she turned away when I looked at her. However, as I told my friend sitting next to me, if the mountain will not go to Mohammed, Mohammed will go to the mountain. I got up and walked over to her to start a conversation. Then I stalked her to find out where she lived and waited fro her to go to the bank as she said she was going. I followed her and just happen to run into her at her bank where I asked her out on a date. We were engaged 3 weeks later and married 8 months after that. We are married over 44 years.

My wife did not understand why I asked her out or married her. She said I was considered a hottie by all of her friends and school mates who had heard about me and seen my pictures years before I met her. She felt that she was not in my league. I will tell you how her life went from the day we were married until now.

I found her a new store that had adult clothes in her size. Sent her to my hair stylist and hired a cosmetician to show her how to use makeup. I hand picked most of her clothes since I was into fashion and most of my clients were in the fashion industry so I learned a lot from them. I bought her our first house when she was 21, along with a new sports car. She never had to work if she did not want to. I showered her with gifts even though she did not want much. I enjoyed making her life better than it used to be when she was picked on and bullied by the other girls.

My wife married well compared to her friends. Two were married to men that they supported and one was married to an alcoholic. My wife had a house while her friends still lived in small apartments. We moved 13 times during our marriage and are on our 9th home. My wife gets a new car every two years and I have always kept her in expensive clothes and cars. Limos when we go out on the town, my private clubs for dinner and dancing, and meeting famous people at industry or social functions. I was interviewed on TV and quoted in newspapers and magazines. Her friends saw me on TV and read about me in their daily papers. The run of the liter was doing much better than all the girls who bullied her or thought little of her.

I am going to be a little immodest here. I have an IQ in the genius range which is why I make a lot of money, even without finishing college. I was in IT when there were only mainframes and like others, left college to fill jobs that there were no one to fill due to a shortage of IT and programmers. I entered a different profession later on and became one of the top two experts in the world and consulted to governments both in the US and overseas. All that time my wife was with me while her girlfriends and old school bullies were married to men with either did not work at all or lived paycheck to paycheck.

Then there is the matter of my sexual attributed and abilities which my wife liked to brag about and even invited each of her three best friends to join us in bed so they could see for themselves. Sometimes she went overboard and would ask me to drop my pants to show her friends what she was getting. I know it sounds corny but she was getting payback finally. I did have sex with each of her girlfriends an when her best friend divorced, we invited her to live with us and share our bed. She was a part of our marriage for 30 years up to 7 years ago.

My wife turned into a butterfly. As she gained weight her breasts went from a 32A to a 36C. On her tiny frame they look even larger. When we went to the beach, nude or otherwise, she turned the heads of both men and women. I never knew why women looked at her until she came out as bisexual. Not a problem since her girlfriend lived with us and was secretly bisexual herself. Things always went our way for some reason.

We are in the top 5% income group in the US. We live very well and money was never a problem within reason. We had a good time taking 4 vacations a year to islands or Las Vegas. I took her around the world since I had worked or visited 21 countries. My wife tells me every week how lucky she is to have married me and is very appreciative of the lifestyle she never dreamed about as a 20 year old virgin who went to her senior prom with a friend's cousin as a pity date. She did the best out of all the girls she knew so have hope. Had I not run to catch that train coming home from work, or entered a different train car, I would never have met her and fell in love so quickly. She went from being poor, looked down on and the object of pity to a place she never dreamed she would be.

I usually do not say these things because they sound like bragging. I take no credit for my IQ because it was not earned. I was born that way, same for my looks. I do take pride in how I used my gifts though and am proud of going from living in government assisted housing to making more money than I ever could dream of and doing it when I was 21 without an college degree. My wife found her prince and we are still very much in love. She shows her appreciation in all that she does for me, even if sharing me with our girlfriend which is not something most wives would do. A little unconventional but our by chance, we both knew our girlfriend since we were kids as she was the sister of a boyhood friends. If I ever saw my wife with her, I do not remember. Our girlfriend considered us a her family which she did not speak to. She would take refuge at our house when her alcoholic husband went on a binge. She was part of our life even before we invited her into our bed so it was a mutual long time friend that we both loved and it was wonderful with no problems surprisingly.

My wife was very shy and submissive but I stalked her, which is illegal today, but romantic in my time. I got past her shyness and embarrassment to love her as she deserves. I hope that the same happiness that she found will be yours too. Do not give up on love or hope. Try not to be embarrassed when guys look at you. What is the worst that can happen? They do not ask you out. That is the same result you will get if you scare them off so why not at least give yourself a chance rather than no chance at all. There is a lid for every pot. There are handicapped women finding true love and a lot of women not as good as you, finding happiness and marriage. Perhaps you will be like my wife who felt hopeless until the last frog she kissed turned out to be her prince.

 

Guys please relax with the pic requests.


nietniet, send it to me first....

 

p.s.

if you really look 14, no adult guy in his right mind is going to ask you anything.

 

^ a lot of adult guys are not in their right mind though.

 

Guys, she's probably long gone now



But this sentence kind of gives away everything.....

One time?

 

There's a lot of things possible here. A lot of public attraction is how you carry, or feel about yourself as a person.

Many folks are too busy with life to pay attention. and they also may not feel confident in themselves.

The modern settings of life aren't exactly builders of confidence. Most people spend a lot of time watching tv or internet. Neither of which can leave one feeling good about themselves sometimes.

Try a dating site or three, or if you have a local singles meet where they get together for mutual activities, try that.

 

By the way, not saying it's bad to *look* young, just as long as the other person knows your actual age.

 

Sucks to be you...I never been approached and am ugly.
Maybe try making the first move.

 

See if you want guys to ask you for date or night club, then body language need tell them that you are interested. However, do not mistake this kind of attention to be 'serious feeling'. This kind of guys are generally looking for casual dating or just an arm candy. But if you are looking for getting into a relationship, then I must tell you that you are looking for attention from wrong guys.

 

The op of this thread has never come back to the forums.

Makes me wonder how come there are so many post here. Hummmmm.
? A dead thread ?

 

then you are being told. obviously not by the people you want to hear it from

if you are pretty as you say... it's that typical cliche

"oh john, i wish i could meet a nice guy like you"
"oh no john [laughs], not you silly, someone like you"