I have for several years considered myself bisexual. I absolutely love being the bottom. I have cross dressed many times. I've really, seriously been thinking about a sex change. My wife knows I'm bi, but doesnt know my interest in becoming a woman. I do have one question, and I hope there is someone here to talk to about it....how does sex feel after the operation, and hormone therapy? I really love getting it in my butt, and I dont really have any interest in my penis....but how does the end result feel, when my penis has been replaced with a vagina? Is there any similarity to the feeling of getting it in the butt? I hope everyone that reads this understands I'm serious about the discussion. Would love to chat about the ins and outs of it all.
Being transgender has nothing at all to do with having sex. So if your primary reason for having gender confirming surgery is to enhance your sexual experience, you are going to have a hard time. There are guidelines in place governing who can have the surgery, and a surgeon who went outside the guidelines would find himself without malpractice insurance. So it is unlikely that you could find a surgeon to do it. You would certainly have to pay 100% of the cost, because no insurance plan would cover that. It is possible that you are indeed transgender. The cross-dressing could be an indication of that, or it could be just a sexual fetish. You should really see a therapist about this, because you need a professional opinion, which mine is not. You will want to talk to them about the non-sexual reasons why you wish to live as a woman. Start giving that some thought. Have you tried presenting as a woman in public? How did that feel? As for how it feels physically to have sex with a neo-vagina, I am sorry, that is not something I can help you with.
Sex is definitely not the only reason. I could make a huge list of reasons for myself. I'm not concerned about cost, and I really dont think a professional opinion would do me much good. I suppose asking about sex makes me seem odd, but I am curious. I really love thinking of myself as a woman...sex or not. Having the wrong anatomy just feels bad to me as I am. Cross dressing is an amazing feeling, and I have ventured into public several times. It felt very good to do so. I have been approached by men a few times, and that felt really good.
That is good that you have been thinking about non-sexual reasons to transition, and that you have some "real life" experience. At this stage, a professional opinion would do you a lot of good. Unless you live in a place that allows treatment by "informed consent", you will need a letter from a psychologist, confirming that you are not nuts and that you have gender dysphoria, in order to access hormone therapy or surgery. The normal process is to be on hormones and to be living full-time in your preferred gender for at least a year before they will consider surgery. I would suggest that you start reading up on the process. The international standards are here: Standards of Care - WPATH World Professional Association for Transgender Health Your own country or state may have some processes and procedures to follow. It is worth knowing what they are even if you have no intention of following them. You may find it helpful to see what LGBT organizations are active in your area, and to find out what resources they might have for you. There are also numerous online forums for trans people. You can get more focused answers to your questions there than you can on a general-purpose forum like this one. I can PM you some suggestions if you want.
A professional opinion will prevent you from doing something in haste or not done at all. You should come out and live full time for a year at least before you consider surgeries.
I suppose if that's the process I have to go through, so be it. I have no doubts, I'm 50 and have had this on my mind since I was 13.
It sounds like the process may go quickly for you. I was the same way. I told the therapist I wanted a hormone letter. After a one-hour interview, she said it wasn't going to be a problem. I still had to see her for a couple more hours to deal with all the informed consent paperwork, but within a month, I had my letter. The real-life experience (RLE) requirement can't really be shortened, though.
Recently I watched a YouTube video where she talked about her bottom surgery and what she had to do afterwards. She had to be off work for quite a while. The hospital stay was a week. And she was taught how to take care of it when she got home. To start with you need to dilate several times a day, which is why she was off work for so long. Over time of course she could do it less and less. But she has to dilate on a regular basis the rest of her life. You also need to clean regularly, douche. This is something you have to keep up on or will shrink. You cannot get the depth back if you allow that to happen. Has to be used or you lose it. So, there is quite a bit to this. So, if you can get the surgery you have to also be willing to put in all the time needed to take care of yourself.
All true. Thank you for pointing that out. The upkeep is one reason why many trans women choose not to have the "full meal deal".
