The fear of being alone

How strange it is to find yourself with "free time". This time that is really yours--in which no self-imposed duty or obligation encumbers you. "Free" time it sounds so liberating and yet we dread it. Is it true that man with all his liberties fears his freedom? We dread this freedom so much that we even pay others to take it away from us. We dread that "free" time in which we are truly by ourselves; when nothing that appeases what we call "boredom" seems appealing. And that "boredom" is a guise of that undefineable fear to be alone.This fear should not be confused with the fear of being abondoned (which leads to intimacy issues, but that is another topic) nor should it be confused with the fear of not finding a compatible "soul" (which is subsequently caused by one's own feeling of inadequacy).It is fear of being alone with nothing to "fill" that time, neither through thought nor act. It is a time in which we are most self-aware. That time truly exemplifies our existance and yet we are scared of this awareness. The awareness of just your Self in this world.

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I never thought about it like that. That's interesting.

 

Since when do we dread free time?

 

ive been chewing on this "free time/fear of being alone" thing for a while too...
we can only truly understand ourselves, and sometimes thats hard enough. so to be able to coupe with true freedom, we must not fear being alone. we all leave life, or this perspective of it alone. we go off into the darkness that is death alone. so to be truly comfortable, we must be strong in the fact that we can be alone.

but alas, i wish my girlfriend would come home from work!

 

Sounds like meditation to me. I try to do it for 20 minutes a day twice a day. Good stuff, one of my favorite parts of the day.

 

I actually love being alone. I've been alone all weekend and it feels like bliss.

 

I'm a bit confused about your definition of "understand", deanmono. The self is one of the most complicated things known to us.

Autentique - You may have isolated yourself from your friends, but were you truly alone? Surely you surrounded yourself with external stimuli.

BloodForPleasure - I had always assumed that boredom was a function of our acute awareness of our own mortality.

It also seems probable that our desire to find a mate caused the all-pervading sense of inadequacy, not the other way around.

 

This weekend I read, I did homework. Only today I went out for a walk. I also did meditation. I ate. I spent time thinking. I took pictures. I slept. I washed my hair.. just random things and well spent some time here.
If you mean if I sat the whole weekend staring at the wall.. no, but but I didnt have any interaction with people except for today and well when my boyfriend calls at night.

 

well, just have control of your brain. its harder said than done, ofcourse, but definatly not impossible. for example, buddha, jesus, anyone who could spend a year isolated in the jungle or forest, the i am, the enlightened ones, christopher mccandless.

"do not pay attention to world events, they are all orchestrated to make you pay attention to them. the struggle you should pay attention to is on a personal level."
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My favorite time of the day is when I'm alone. What you describe is the average human. They work because they hate the idea of a free time period of infinite expansion. It's bullshit, but to each there own.

 

I think Im a true loner. I have a lot of friends, totally extroverted, but I will just disappear. I've always looked in myself to find answers and I often wander as far into nature as I can alone and just think. I've been doing it for a long time, and for all I know have driven myself mad. But hey I guess maternal abandonement will do that to a person. Without a doubt, as a human I have grown alone. My spirit and mind have grown alone.

I really do yearn for someone though. But even with that I resist it a lot of the time. The people around me seem to be around others for one reason: distraction from the inevitable. Its like a chronic drug user (myself). But I guess when it comes to human connection I prefer intense, powerful experiences that take me awhile to recover from and leave me numb for years.

 

It's neat that everyone got something different from what I proposed. D thanks for the quote, this is complimentary to what I was trying to say.

Some people misconstrued. Of course there's nothing wrong with being alone and it's actually unhealthy to fear such a thing. That's what leads people into bad relationships, etc...

What I was saying, which I hope to make clearer, is how do you handle that time when it's just you and your brain/mind. I mean, not that I necessarily believe in mind/body dualism. But that is another subject of it's own... I know you can pick up a book and read, mastubate, go online, have a a conversation with yourself, the list is infinite of things one can do by oneself. But what I was referring to is that time when you're not having some orgasmic thought spasm and all you're left is with an awareness of your self. Subsequently the fear of being alone. But even when one is alone you have something you're doing or thinking of doing or worrying about doing.

 

Thats crazy talk. You're not really making much sense.

Subsequent fear. Where is the connection there?

 

I didn't expect this to resonnate with everyone.

 

Yeah yeah yeah .....


Explain where the fear enters into it.

 

You're funny.

 

Maybe we'll save it for another time?

 

I though waking life was a fantastic movie, one of my favorites really but Amelie is my favorite.

So how are you doing today?

 

I was an only child and even tho my friends meant a lot to me in my teens and early 20s,I have disappeared from family and friends,some for 25-45 years.Some forever.I like my own company and I could probably entertain myself if I was secluded ,for any length of time.I enjoy visiting and having some laughs with people,but frankly,I could do without it.I don't ever feel panicked when alone.

 

I tried to watch Amelie once but I wasn't in the mood for it and turned it off. I'm doing fine today. A new radiohead album was released today. Events like that take the stress off of working, and maybe even the fear of being alone.