Have any of you ever dealt with an ex Boyfriend or Girlfriend, that was that one type, that would do the following; After you break up, never leave you alone, constantly emailing, texting, calling, even after blocking? Using other people's phone's to contact you or have their friends contact you to talk to you. Showing up at your house unannounced, all the time, if not every day, every other day, week, etc. Following you around watching your every move, where you went for the day, knew what you were doing at any time of day etc. Would bother you like no tomorrow, after finding out you found someone new Threatened your life, if you dated anyone else, that they would kill you because they wanted you for themselves only Any of you deal with these types of exs?
I did that shit at the end of a relationship. It's best to never start these rocky relationships! I suppose people get into relationships and don't make clear what they want. When starting a relationship verbally state what you want and where your going to draw the line. Don't play someone or it's going to end negatively.
That is called stalking. There are federal criminal harassment laws in Canada, and similar laws in many other states. Aside from the law, this behaviour is NOT okay.
But they do it! who is going to stop them? Ive an injunction, but it dont really mean anything, till your dead!
I'd take (or have the lady take) the following steps, in order: Get the court to issue a restraining order against your stalker. It may do nothing to thwart them, but you have a legal record of them harassing you. (This can be important later.) If your locality allows it, and you think you can manage it (mentally and emotionally), get professional firearms training (lots of it) and buy handgun. You may want to apply for a Concealed Carry License. (I'm a firearms instructor and have had far too many women come to me for help AFTER they've been assaulted, raped, or worst. Don't wait until it's too late.) If you can tolerate them and your living arrangements allow for it, consider buying a dog. Even a little ankle-biter can be a great boon if they know to start the racket when an uninvited stranger appears. Attackers don't like to have attention drawn to them while they're committing their crimes. If you have a dog that doesn't normally bark at night but suddenly wakes up the neighbors at 3 AM, they'll know that something is wrong. Speaking of neighbors, make sure that you know yours and are on good terms with them. They're much more likely to get involved if they know you and like you. If you live in a stand-alone home (rather than an apartment), make sure that it's not intruder-friendly. Make sure that all the doors and windows have sturdy locks and keep them locked all the time, even when you are at home. If you don't have a cell phone, get one. Unlike land lines, it can't have it's cable cut. Trim shrubbery back away from the house. Don't leave places (especially near exterior doors) that someone can easily hide in wait. Consider getting ornamental lighting (like Malibu lights) for your yard and exterior walkways. If you have a garage and it is not attached to your house, make sure that the path to it is cleared and well lit. Getting a dog is even a better idea under these circumstances, as your neighbors won't be as close and may not hear a disturbance. These are just a few of the steps you can take to make yourself more secure from a stalker. (Acquiring a gun is a very big step. Don't do it unless you're SURE that you'll have the nerve to use it in a dire emergency. Otherwise, it's just one more tool that your attacker can take away and use against you.) BTW, these recommendations apply equally well to men being stalked by women. (Ever see Fatal Attraction?) Stay safe.
I just wanted to add to the very practical advice that has been offered here, but also suggest that I find it unfortunate that it's the responsibility of the predator's victim to take actions to protect themselves. *sigh* I have done this myself. If you really need to escape a potentially violent situation - and it sounds like you do, then brutal life surgery is required. All people with any link to your stalker need to be cut out of your life. This can be painful as they may be otherwise good people for you. ANY link. That means, friend of a friend of a friend, etc. Possibly even family. Your residence must change locale, ideally in the middle of the night, ideally at least 500 km away from previous residence. More is better. Changing coasts is better still. A new country is the best option. Facebook pages, twitters, online anything that you post on: goodbye (at least under your previous identity). The reason is, is that If you don't cut off the old online stuff, you will have to analyze every little detail you release, to the point where it will drive you mad. Invariably, even with careful thought, you will release some little detail that allows the scumbag stalking you to find you. Do you have kids? You need to inform their school of your violent ex-partner, and make sure they understand that anyone calling looking for your kids had better only be you. A name change, if possible, doesn't hurt either. If you can't legally change your name, it is still often possible to just assume another name. The only people you are obliged to use your correct name is the cops and your employer. If your work is paid in cash, your employer need not no your real name All this can work, but it takes dedication and sacrifice. You have to decide how much your life is at risk and how much your willing to give up to manage that risk in a safe way. I'd talk to a lawyer if you look at firearms. Different states have different notions of what constitutes self-defence. I'm personally a fan of the disappearing act, because it does not potentially result in criminal charges against you. This might sound over the top. You have to decide if it applies to your situation. If done properly and with a bit of luck, the only way they'll be able to find you is through you. So you'll have to have the discipline to not "see how they are doing", or "check if it is safe to go back". Good luck.
From my experiences, more often than not people assume that they're being stalked or harassed, when in reality they aren't. For example, thinking you're being stalked or harassed when someone is just looking at your Facebook. If you're laughing while you're talking about being stalked or harassed, which has often been my experience, then you're not being stalked or harassed. This is a serious crime and accusation is also serious. Don't get me wrong, if you are a victim of stalking and harassment, I'm not pulling a "blame the victim" card here. I'm just saying that this isn't something to joke about or admire, and yes... some people have admired this. Even though I have experienced many people like the ones I stated above I have also experienced the story of a 15 year old girl being stalked and harassed by a man that was twice her age. So, just be sure and be careful. Please, I mean that more than anything else.
Yes. He wasn't a stalker, he just knew just what to say and do to weasel himself back into my life. We had a ridiculous 5 yr on and off again relationship because of this. We share the same group of friends so even after we finally called it quits we were forced to figure out how to be friends. It worked for a while, for a couple of years we were really good, strictly platonic friends. Then we both met someone else and fell in love around the same time and drifted apart. His relationship didn't last, mine did. Then out of the blue, after my partner and I have been together several years and have had a child together, my ex starts hitting on me again and telling me he regrets ever letting me go. I think he's retarded, there is no other explanation for it.
Never had to deal with an ex (that ended on bad terms) for long. I am entirely too mean (when provoked), and have a low tolerance for bullshit. They can take their crazy shit somewhere else!
I am happy my post can help all of you, but it sucks that so many of you have faced certain types of people over the years and in your lifetimes it sucks. I hope I never deal with someone like this but it sometimes crosses my mind and scares me at times.
people laugh in the face of danger every day....ive done it myself a thousand times..if you freak out at every hint of danger in your life then you are just a fuckin' weakling
