The Drunkest You've Ever Been

Ehh, most drunk I've ever been was just enought ot get me walking funny.

I'm a bit "happy" now avtually.

 

I dont really remember how much i drank, i remember taking giant chugs of a 26er of whisky until it was gone. Anyway, blacked out, and ended up at my house the next morning. Cops braught me home, no fine or nothing, and i guess i smashed a bunch of windows and shit.

 

I was at my friend's Steph's house and it was kinda a going away party for my friend...And we had malibu rum and coke, smirinoff, bourbon, heineken, gin and tonic, and a few jello shots...it was a really fun night except for the fact that I woke up with no shirt on! lol...I remember some stuff like calling my friend...i remember being on the phone with her but i don't remember how i got on the phone or when i hung up...but she told me the next day that it was pretty funny...and i remember my friend would hit the wall everytime she went down the stairs and the next day we asked her why and she said while she was going down she was thinking that she couldn't stop so she thought oh i'll just run into the wall, that'll stop me! figuring out stuff the next day was hilarious!

 

Bottle of Jack in 5 minutes flat.

 

the drunkest ever for me was actually the last time i drank. i blacked out and apparently started throwing up ALOT in my sleep, and wouldn't move from the fetal position so i probably had some level of alcohol poisoning.

good times, good times.

 

The most I ever drank, i had a bunch of grey goose vodka followed by cheap cheap cheap tequilla. Turned out our shot glass was a double and not single...next thing i new i was hunched over the toilet, then passed out on the kitchen floor...throwing up more in my sleep... Wooo!

 

went to a concert in chicago, ended up sucking then met some guys and we hung out with them (they were old and weird). They had 2 coolers filled with absolute, they tried to get me and my friends drunk but instead we took their alcohol (2 handles and a 40) because they were trying to get us back to their places. Left and drank more in the park but, I cant rember much but running to the bathroom at the train station then waking up the next morning in my bed.

 

I drank two whole bottles of the Korean rice-based liquor soju and couldn't see straight, vomited, had to really fight to get my legs to take me home.

I think I blacked out at one point and a crowd had gathered around me.

 

The last time I got really fucked up was on Christmas eve when I was at work my boss was having a after hours party and she said it was mandatory to attend and I had no plans to stay so an hour before my shift ended I called my mom to pick me. The rest of the time me and this dude were in the back room getting ridiculously drunk. At first we just took sips and mixed it with orange juice but after a while we just started drinking straight from the bottle so by the time my shift was over I had a damn good buzz going but a few hours later I got sick and started throwing up all over my room.

 

The night I first made my moves on my boyfriend. 5 months ago.

I drank two bottles of 20/20, a bottle of Boones Farm, then half of a half of Smirnoff, a few shots of everclear, several beers, ummm...oh yeah, a shot of Jack. I honestly think it was the Jack that did it.

I remember making out with my roommate, sitting on her lap. And I might have put my hands in inappropriate places...and then I leaned back and put my head on the lap of the guy who is now my boyfriend, still sitting on the roommate's lap, and pulled him down to start kissing me. Then I moved over onto him...and clothes came off...and half of the people I live with have seen me topless. The last thing I remember is taking him into my room and ripping his pants off...and pleasuring him. Dirty story, sorry.

And I haven't stopped kissing that sexy bitch since.




I have a funny story about the drunkest he's ever been too. we were all drinking in a car, and between he and I we finished a 2 liter bottle of McCormick. And then snorted muscle relaxers (Yeah, stupid.) He kept telling everybody how amazing they were, and hugged our guy friend a lot...

He told one of our friends as a joke "If I can't get it up tonight, you have my permission to fuck Amber." I didn't find that amusing at the time. And after trying to take a nap on the sidewalk, he passed out on my bed. I passed out next to him...and woke up a few hours later to a weird noise.

He was pissing on a pile of his clothes and his blanket that were on the floor. Yeah. We threw the blanket out and sprayed a hella lot of lysol the next day.

 

i will never forget the drunkest ive ever been. it all started 2 years ago....

My friend said if i wasnt doing anything to come chill with him and his homies. So i decided to go chill with him. we go to the store and i get some Smirnoff [which i call Smurf] and some E&J. well they decided they wanted a chaser to go with the smurf, so we got Gatorade. we start walkin and we duck into an alley and mix the Gatorade with about a cup of Smurf. all 4 of us are drinking from that which is clearly not enough.

we go to some field and im just drinking from the bottle of smurf. i take some E&J and was drinking for about 10 minutes or so. then we decide to move to these bleachers and sit at the top. we're sitting their and talking and laughing and passing the time. before i know it, i lean forward and ask them if they want some more Smurf, if not then im just going to finish it [their was little left] so they say no and i just drink the rest. im sitting their and i am really starting to feel all that alcohol.

10 minutes later we decide to get out of where we were. i get up from where i was sitting and put one leg out, and fall. i had to crawl off the bleachers. i start walking and i feel strange, then i notice that my friend in front of me is leaning slightly to the left. i turn my head and realized i was falling. so i grab onto the fence and close my eyes and just hold on for dear life. after a couple minutes i let go, and start walking again. and then out of no where BAM i fall and straight hit my face on the floor. ow.
now im on the floor and it feel as though the world is spinning out of control.

i get up and go to the bathroom and im hitting walls and bumping into people. i get in the bathroom and i have to piss, but i dont wanna risk..you know...falling and pissing on myself, but i was just like "fuck it" and took a piss. then i took off my pants [ i was wearing shorts underneath] and head back outside. im walking and my friend is about a foot taller and a good 100 lbs heaver. hes grabbing me by the shoulders and directing me to where we are going. but i got that feeling again and BAM hit the floor again and blacked out.

i woke up Screaming. now when i say that i dont mean i woke up and then started screaming. No. i woke up because i was screaming. so im screaming, i cant see and im crying. and what i was yelling was "JUST LEAVE ME!!! ENRIQUE [my friend] JUST LEAVE ME, IF YOU LOVED ME AND WERE MY FRIEND YOU'D LEAVE ME RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW!!!I DONT CARE ENRIQUE JUST LEAVE ME!!! I JUST WANNA STAY HERE!!!. it was bad. so i finally stop yelling but im still crying ans sniffling. so Enrique is guiding me to wherever we were going and i fall again. I get up and and stop to throw up. we walk some more and i fall and black out again.

i wake up and im sitting. i dont know where, but im sitting and i still cant see. and i dont know where Enrique is. and for some reason i just lose it and start yelling as loud as i could and i punch the glass in front of me. for about 30 seconds before Enrique comes and tries to get me to stop but i just go at it and continue for about 1 minute. i stop, throw up, black out.

i wake up again in a car. i have no idea where i am or who im with all i know is that Enrique is not there. im in the back seat with someone to my left. finally the person driving stops. and i get out of the car [though i think i was pushed out] and start walking in the street. i dont know where i am but it looks familiar. still slightly drunk, im hitting cars and tripping. next thing i know im opening the door to my house.

i get in go to my room and lay down. 10 minutes later my mom walks in and i tell her to keep the lights off. she asked me where i was [it was about 10 at night i hadnt bothered to call or tell her....anything] i said i was in San Carlos with friends. she said if i was hungry that dinner was on the counter and she left. i just laid in bed for about 20 minutes and got up to get something to drink. i was so thirsty. i get to my fridge and my friend Alex calls me. i answer.

Me: Hello?
Alex: Dude...What the fuck was wrong with you!?!?!?!
Me: What are you talking about
Alex: you called me and started say things like you loved the world and shit
Me: when?
Alex: at like 6:30, dude what the hell was up with you
Me: man, i called you? i dont even remember
Alex: well you did and you said you loved brooke
Me: woah i would never say that about her
Alex: but you did, even my brother heard you say it.
Me: well i fucked up earlier.

blah blah blah conversation ends and i get some cereal or something and go to bed. at about 2:30 i wake up with a raging headache. didnt go back to sleep till about 4. man. that was one crazy night.

and to this day i have never ever everevereververver drank that much. the most i can tolerate now is barely 3 shots of Patron.

 

One day I was drinking with my boss at his place. Having drunk two bottles of cognac (we used no food to eat, only a bottle of Coca-Cola) with the strongest headache we went to work next mornung. On my classmate's marriage, me and another two my fellow students were sitting at the same table. We had drunk three bottles of cognac and I was fucking drunk too much. Then we went to the seaside (it was September and the restaurant we were in was near the sea) and began swimming. I felt myself much better and forgot that I was drunk. There were many cases when I was fucking drunk. After some of them I was hardly ever able to remember what was happened that night.

 

Last x-mas holidays, me and some friends in bangkok, we made a promise; we were gonna seriously get fucked up. and we did, I woke up in a park by myself the next day, none of us new what happened.

I felt so sick though, I couldn't eat without feeling like I had to spew, I just laid in bed groaning the whole day. But hey, when in Bangkok....

 

haha fun thread lets see....

gotta say it was wen i was 16 and drank a handle of zhenka in 5 minutes jus chuggin it.

right after i blacked out and woke upto a gun in my face on someone elses bed in a strangers house!!!

well i def got arrested that night and they thought i was on crack for some reason to lol

oh yea time frame from wen i started chuggin to being arrested was 8 hours

i blacked out for 8 hours and wandered into a house i guess.

 

man i love these stories! drunk tales are theee best likes! k, 'ere's mine:

i was 16, and me & a group of 8 friends were goin camping down the beach. the whole idea was to get very drunk, and not have to go to someone house to crash, under the disapproving glares of parents or older siblings.

so we start at the beginning of the beach, and we all have like a rucksack on our bags with some manner of alcohol in each. we all intend to share each other's cos at this point, we believe mixing is the quickest way to get drunk. (not necessarily the best, nor safest way, but i was 16, and the oldest there tbh)

so we start off with strongbow cider. we had about 24 pint cans of it, so me n my mate douglas shotgun'd three litres of it each in like 5 minutes. NOT A GOOD START. then we hit the Bordeaux -- everso classy glugging the french red at 5 in the evening. after that, as we're all sitting on the little tank-barriers on the beach from WWII, out comes the smirnoff. I rarely drink vodka, so i pulls out my bottle of Jameson's whisky and shares it with Douglas.
so... 7 people are sharing a litre of smirnoff mixed into a 2 litre bottle of cola, and 2 people are sitting swigging the neat whisky. thinking we're the total epitome of hard drinkers, we see no reason to pace ourselves.
we march along the beach, me and douglas, to the local off-licence store, where we know the guy behind the counter.
we slur, and sway, and manage to come out with 12 hamlet cigars and 60 benson & hedges gold cigarettes. we smoke our way back down to the beach, swiggin at the whisky, and when we get there, the smirnoff's done and the 5 girls are drinking alcopops like bacardi breezer and big beastie (which is like bubblegum flavoured vodka stuff at 8%).

soon enough, the whisky's done and the world is spinning wildly out of control. me, douglas and leonie eat sooo many vallies between us and then he goes and has slow sex with his gf on the golf course near by, leonie goes and digs a fuckin hole cos its raining and for some reason she thinks diggin a hole in the sand'll shelter her fer the night.
and me, i lie down and pass out.


5 hours later, i vaguely remember being woken up. dean and michael drag me up off the sand and onto the grass bank where the tents are, someone tries to pour a bottle of water down my throat but i totally miss the mouthpiece and get 3 litres of the council's finest all over me. so, now i'm soaking wet, freezing cold and on a beach in scotland in november and to wasted to do anything about it.

someone dumps me in a tent and i pass out again.

i wake up at like 2am, and i'm in the tent on my side, with my head sticking out from the zip-down door of the tent "incase i be sick in my sleep" --
the actual reason, though, was because, as my body was inside the tent, i was unable to see dean & steph tryin to shag in their drunken stupor.
Dean failed to get it up (cos he's gay anyway, and he's since come out), and steph starts screaming about their being a spider in this tiny little two man tent.
SO, in her drunk frenzy she tries to get out the tent, and in doing so, manages to walk all over me. not very helpful.

i drag myself up, but i can't stand. i'm still very very blitzed. so i sit in the tent for hours with dean, soaking wet, cold and shivering. we get ranting about the government, and he rolls a couple of spliffs believeing that cannabis will sober me up just nicely.

four hours later, at like 7am, its still dark outside, and raining lightly now, dean i have since decided we are sober enough from the apparent wonder drug to start drinking again, so we hit the OVD rum mixed in with Southern Comfort. how wrong we were.

eventually i find my legs, and clamber out the tent. much to dean's dismay, for as i lay there wasted he tried to kiss me and i was like OH DEAR GOD NO so made a quick exit from getting raped by my mate.

as i stand outside, 6 of the others are in the only other tent and i pee on their tent, absent mindedly, and start rambling about my cock being the only thing i can focus on and how it just glows in the dark. which for them was highly amusing, until i fell over the tent and lay on top of michael inside it.

i dragged myself up, and walked down to the sand and saw leonie sitting in her hole she dug, sipping a bottle of raspberry mad dog 20/20. i walk over, fall in the hole, and she starts to kiss me. she has braces. that's all i remember of that. her hand goes down my briefs, there's a bit heavy petting, then she gets up and says something about condoms, she leaves me there, climbs out the ditch, and takes off her jeans. underneath she's wearing these little silk pyjama shorts and its freakin -4degrees celsius out here, but she's too drunk to notice.

instead of fetching any condoms, she runs off in the opposite direction of evryone to go pee.

that's the last i see of her for a week.

i go back up, lie down beside my tent and drink her 20/20. god is it awful.

i spew again, and then i crawl into the full tent of sleeping people, wake douglas up and ask him if there's anything left.
he pulls out of his rucksack a carton of white wine and a gram of cocaine.
we do a couple of lines each IN A TENT FOR FUCKS SAKE. not classy at all. and then we drink some wine and wake everyone up singing Queen songs at 8.30.

everyone is pissed at us but we're too blown to care. we all decide to hit the beach, but i don't make it -- i fall over the bank ledge, hit the sand and michael spray paints half my hair and face with red paint, and then signs my chest.
i giggle hysterically the whole time, but can't get up cos he's holding me down.

i lay there, unable to move for fear of being sick again,
while everyone else follows douglas into the early morning sea to go skinny dipping cos he thinks it'll be "refreshing, and will wake everyone up"

needless to say, they went.

eventually they came back, and woke me up. me n dean decided to go to the local truck stop place, and he had an actual fried breakfast, while i sat there with coffee and chain smoked with my eyes closed.
he handed me some more valium for the coke comedown and i fell asleep with my head in my hands in this little cafe.

he boldily removed me from the place, walked/staggered with me to my house, and then i lay down against my front door in my boxers and t-shirts (my jeans were wet so i took them off) and there, i slept.
couple of hours later, the postman woke me up with a sarcastic grin and i crawled into the house and into the shower.
there was sand everywhere!! no joke.

i eventually got to my bed and i pretty much slept for two days.

my mum grounded me for like two months. which was fine with me, cos i was hung over for most of that anyway.


best day ever though

 

that was an amazing story.

the drunkest ive ever been.. hm
i was 16, (i weigh 110, female) and decided that i was going to have a drinking contest with my gay friend, jordan (he weighs like 250).. 15 minutes and a half of smirnoff later were both trashed, we make out, do a photoshoot.. and decide to go smoke a bowl in his backyard. we get it started but then his dad walks outside and i make the very wise descision to throw the pipe over his fence into his neighbors yard. eventually, i make my way over to the neighbors yard to find the pipe and get attacked by their tiny ass dog. apparently i fall down and knock myself out because i wake up at 3 in the morning with a pomerianian sleeping on my chest and a pipe in my hand. i find jordan ontop of my car..

 

haha lol...that's a good one...i don't really drink a whole lot and i do like to drink though but this one time i was hanging out with the bf and my one friend i got to the point where i couldn't even taste the alcohol anymore, it was fun being funny that's for sure but lemme tell you the after side effects are not funny nor are they fun lol....

 

there's been a lot but the one I always "remember" was Justin's 20th birthday party, i was goin shot for shot with a gf of mine on a bottle of tequila while drinking half and half paralyzers...in retrospect I should've known, but I was young and stupid and thought it was an excellent combination.
So about half way through the bottle of tequila we each take a pill of e....Now these next parts get pretty fuckin sketchy but here's how I recall it happening.
I'd say half and hour after I took my pill, and another 4 shots I start to get that dizzy swirling "oh fuck" kinda feeling. Not knowing what to make of this I decide I should go outside and get some air, Its hard to say what really happened next but I feel like I had a conversation with someone out there and then decided to try and walk it off?!
I didn't make it past the front yard of the house before stumbing erratically into a bush and collapsing on the ground in my already spewing vomit....next thing I remember is being about 8 houses down in someone else's bushes and them turning on their porch light and cautiously asking me if i'm alright to which I remember replying something about a party....
I don't know what happened between justin's house and block 8, or what happened between block 8 and waking up in the person's apartment below mine....who I'd said hi to a few times in the hallway but wasn't by any means a friend of. Apparently I had lost my keys somewhere along the way and pounded on her door to help me break into my apartment, lol....what an awkward "morning after" that was

to make it worse I had to walk back along what i could only guess was my path home from the night before but never found them.

 

Is it jus me or do most of these stories give u that "It could've been me feeling".

My first drunkest episode began by my boy Weezy (he has asthma) just so happend to be moving and I was the help (I was living in N. York) . By the end of the week we were done moving and it just happend to be his b day. He was turning 18 n i was making a big deal out of it. So i took it upon my self to make sure he was fucked up.

So after school we went and copped 4 small hypnotic bottles and a gargantuan one (we called it a midget) from his uncle who happens to have a massive collection of spirits. Weezy's a big guy so hes the 1 luggin the midget around while im the 1 holding the smaller ones in my bag.

We go 2 his new building and downed all four within an hour. His other uncle stopped by and I explained the situation and drove us to the liquor spot and came back out with a bottle of Henny.
Weezys brothers was visiting from Philly to help him move n he still had a copy of the old apartment key so we went over there to start the night. He brings mutual friends from the block to the extravaganza. They all bring assortments of weed mostly some sour, purp and mids ooh yeah one other person brings a bottle of vodka.

Music is blasted Blunts are goin around niggas are pourin their own troubles hell ova time. Weezy is drinkin but he didnt tell his brother that he smokes so hes not takin the blunts. Every1 is ampin the other to do a little more so the midget was the first to go cuz it was being mixed wit Henny first then the Vodka. 2-3 hours later every1 is stumblin out. So weezy, myself and his brother are the last 1's left their offering to pay for a cab but i opt to walk (I live down a steep ass hill and 8 blocks away)
I dont really remember getting home but in my elevator going to my apartment I do remember talking to this girl neighbor with big 'ol titties i liked and saying some random shit to her hoping to impress her in my couragous state. Unphasing her i go to my mission to put my key in the key hole after some time i got it in. On my way to my room my sister is fuckin wit me askin me " Wats Wrong" I remember telling her I have a headache and askin her if she could see it. her replying "No" im like "Wat about Now" after 3 min. of this I plop in my bed..............Only 2 wake up in a few hours to go 2 Saturday school... (I kno I had forgotten too)

**Thx for the listen**

 

Started drinking Foster's and the Zoo Tavern in Seattle and woke up 3 days later in a hotel in Denver. Other than that I can't tell you much else.