The Don't Get Caught Smoking Marijuana Guide

Discussion in 'Cannabis and Marijuana' started by trailerparkboy, Jun 26, 2006.

  1. Dazed-Jamie

    Dazed-Jamie Member

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    good tips man. i agree, for people who havent smoked much before smoking in the house isnt a great idea. although i think if you stand on your counter in your bathroom and blow right into the fan and have a shower after wards your all clear... another thing is if you have a guest room with a bathroom and your parents arent home then definatly go toke up in there instead.
     
  2. WoodstockChild

    WoodstockChild Intrepid Traveler!

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    If it was that easy I would've been high by now.
     
  3. Eugene

    Eugene Senior Member

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    How to smoke inside (without being caught!)
    1. Know your situation. This is more geared towards those who are a) still living with their parents or b) live in a dorm, in which case it's a good idea to know the feelings and behaviors of the authority figure in question.
    Some parents smoke cigarettes, a lot of them, and as a consequence their sense of smell is greatly diminished. Some authority figures are pretty regular when it comes to their sleeping schedule and leaving the premises schedule. Ask them what/how they are doing, it will make you seem concerned you will gleam valuable information.
    Also, knowing where you are smoking in relation to the rest of the house can be key, avoid basements (smoke rises), bathrooms on the ground floor (they are more frequented) or if your bedroom is next to a rents, you be fucked.
    2. If at all possible only smoke when you are the only one home.
    3. go to wal-mart or your local drug store and buy a can of air freshener, I recommend Ozium. It only costs 2-5 $, lasts a while, and is the strongest shit out there for getting rid of the smell. Also, buy some perfume (or cologne depending on gender) that is in true teenage fashion so outlandishly obvious that you can't smell anything over it.
    4. (In the winter) go to a home depot or similar home building store and get some plastic tubing, about six to eight feet of it. When you burn next you will feed one end of the tubing out a window and blow your hits through the other.
    (In the summer)
    Put a fan in the window, turn it backwards, put it on low, (some people want it to go the fastest it can, but that's just overkill, and will deafen you to the sound of footsteps slowly encroaching on your doorway).
    5. Get a small pile of clothes and throw them against the door, but don't tuck them under. Your parents probably went to college, or lived during the seventies/eighties, and they know what a towel under a door means. A pile of clothes will be almost as effective as blocking in the smell as a towel, but without the 'shady factor'.
    6. Spray a little bit of ozium (little bit, like a perfume squirt) after every hit.
    Spray the cologne after you are done with your session.
    7. Do not smoke a bong, blunt, joint, or any large bowl if you are worried about smell. A corn cob pipe, or preferably a 2-3 hit sized bowl are good alternatives. Be sure to use a quarter (or anything large enough in your local currency) to cover up the bowl after you light it each time. This minimizes smoke coming out.
    8. This is a little extreme, but if you really aren't ashamed and want your parents to leave you alone when you lock the door, takes off your pants when you smoke. The one-two minutes between them knocking and you opening the door is a lot less shady when your pants are on backwards. Don't do this with another person in the room; it will cause confusion and drama for all parties involved.
    9. Use eye drops. Clear eyes is worthless (IMHO) and visine is only slightly worse. Spring for the economy bottle of Opcon-A. It costs a lot for eye drops, but you only have to use it once, maybe twice, a day. This saves money in the long run and makes your eyes as clear as a mountain lake.
    10. the most important thing, have fun, don't be nervous, and enjoy.

    PS feel free to add anything y'all think of, thanks.
     
  4. rob1134

    rob1134 Member

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    smoking inside is lame. id rather smoke outside and enjoy nature and chill with friends or whatever
     
  5. hippygirl112

    hippygirl112 Member

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    Dude...Just smoked in my room. My parents are right outside watchin tv.
    this is what I did:
    **use a small bowl/pipe
    **keep window open (even a little bit will be fine)
    **blow all smoke out the window, and keep the bowl covered so the smoke coming out of your bowl doesnt get in your room
    **spray
    **Preferably use a fan if you have one, even if you don't it would be fine.

    gooood luck! hopefully that was helpful :]
     
  6. shannonkitten

    shannonkitten Guest

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    Lmao, I sure am glad I don't have to worry about hiding it from my parents. Shit, they smoke it with me.
     
  7. lunarverse

    lunarverse The Living End

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    I've found being honest and educating people who have been fed erroneous information about marijuana to be the best route. People either are afraid of it or don't like it because they believe the lies governments have spent the last fifty years feeding people lies about it. Educate your parents or whomever you wish to educate on the matter. Let them know the real facts about it and they may learn something and be less uneasy about it.
     
  8. hipforumperson

    hipforumperson Guest

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    How many of you do drugs? i am just going to assume that all of you do. Now when i say drugs. i don't mean heroin, cocaine, meth, or any of the Class A drugs excluding ecstasy. i disapprove of the use of those. i feel as though they don't have any healing effect or any ability to open your mind. They just fuck you up and aren't worth the trouble. However that is just my opinion. i have never done the stuff so who knows, maybe im full of shit.

    I lived in North California in a small town near the Emerald Triangle where there was gang violence if you were looking for it. Its not like there was a epidemic or a hood or anything, just a bunch of kids throwing Norteno and Sureno signs up in the air trying to fit in. pretty much the reason for every gang ever. Well i ended up getting picked on by a bully because i had just moved there from Oregon. A guy i had never met before stepped up and beat the shit outta the bully for me so i pretty much gained instant loyalty to him. I started hanging out around him. Come to find out, him and his brother are the leaders of the Nortenos in this side of town. I hung out, partied, and became just another member of the crew but i never joined the gang. i just had his back. I dont believe in loyalty to a group. i believe in loyalty to a person based on how they treat me. People are stupid and crazy. A person is smart and calculating.

    I started smoking herb and drinking when i was in 7th grade. So i have been exposed to the drug world for quite some time now. I have just finished high school if you must know how old i am. I moved back to oregon my senior year to find my grandpa growing pot. Well this was a great little bit of information for me. I feel weird about my family knowing about my drug usage so to them im a straightedge. so whenever they werent home. i would sneak into their room which was locked but lucky for me. i had learned a thing or two about breaking and entering in california so i picked the lock. He had three, one pound bags. each with different parts of the plant. so i would take a little shake, a little leaves, and a lil bud. mix it all up and sell it for some nice profit. he was always to stoned to notice. i still make a profit off of him today. ^_^

    Through buying and selling. i have learned that you absolutely can not trust anyone, even with something as simple as weed. lucky for my friends. i am a trustworthy dealer so i dont screw people over or jip them of their due product.

    Buying and selling drugs have a lot of the same little precautions. First of all. if you want to buy drugs. Never give your dealer your number because if he gets caught, even if he doesnt roll over on you. the police can get his phone and looky whos number is in it. No matter if your buying or selling. You will always want a prepaid phone. spend 30 dollars on a crappy phone you can use for your sketchy deals(any drug deal is sketchy) rather than have to throw away your number because your dealer/buyer got caught. Also make up a name for yourself. never give your real information.

    Second. know your drugs. most people think they know what 20 dollars worth is but a drug can be compacted, grinded, or even mixed with something else to appear to be more than it is. i know a few people who mix shake with oregano so they can sell it for more. when you buy. try to get full bud picked from the plant and in one piece. From my experience. The state of a drug is in when you purchase it, defines what kind of person the dealer is. for example. if you get it in the form i just mentioned, it usually shows the dealer is a grower who picks right from their plants and is kind of a natural grower. natural growers tend to be more trustworthy. if you get it grinded up or packed together. it usually means the dealer is screwing you over or is a big time grower who packs their weed together for easier shipping. Those are the kind of people you want to stay away from. So yea, know your drug. make sure when you buy 20 dollars worth. your getting your moneys worth.

    Third. if you dont like the feeling of a deal. dont go through with it. thats easier to say for a buyer though. As a general rule of thumb. if you dont feel right about it then dont do it. Herb is nice to have but if you feel like you have to risk getting caught just to get high then your a addict.

    fourth. Know the legal limits to carry, and the punishment for breaking that limit. for example. when i buy xtc, i usually only buy 2 pills because 4 pills is one gram and anything over one gram is a minimum of 5 years, i can also swallow two pills before a cop can get to me. if i took 4. i might be tripping way to many balls to know whats going on. all feeling the handcuffs and shit like ohhhh officers. lol. In general the best thing for you to do is to not have drugs on you in the first place and if you do carry them on you. do it for short periods of time and hide them somewhere safe. like in a lil hidden pocket in your underwear. With marijuana. most cops wont care if you have under two grams or so. which is a little less than a dubsack. Just buy your drugs in little amounts.

    screw this number system. When you meet a officer. be respectful, dont be a prick. even if you hate the government and the pigs. you have to remember they are doing their jobs and just like you. disrespect makes them mad. be polite. call them officer or sir. and if your young enough to pull it off. say your 17. feel out the situation. if you think they are going to arrest you then you might want to give them your real information but honestly. its not hard to give them complete false information. fake name, address, ect. because they have no way of knowing who you are. which leads me into my next tip. when you buy drugs. take the bus or taxi to your location because they can take your car or license number for your information and never ever ever carry id on you. so if you do get caught. they have no info on you.

    For now. thats all i can think of. sorry if this is all crap. Happy smoking :)
     
  9. PersonFromSomePlace

    PersonFromSomePlace Guest

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    If you choose to spray cologne, deoderant etc. out into your room before or after smoking, remember NOT to spray a WHOLE lot of it, out. Because when I first started smoking weed, I tried to cover the smell with a lot of the Axe deoderant (or other brands if I didn't have Axe), but when my mom surpricingly walked into my room app. a half an hour after I was done smoking, she would shout out something like this: "BWRRRD! Why did you use so mutch deoderant!?". And I would just be lying there in my bed, hoping that my dad didn't hear her...

    Btw, I also just smoke in my room, hanging out the window.And when I'm done, I just close the window, hide all my smoking acsessories and jumps into bed to watch Friends, Two and a Half Men, Dexter etc. untill I fall asleep haha
     
  10. Nostromo

    Nostromo Member

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    Alright I haven't read the thread and I see it's a necro. B ut the OP is funny:


    Be really careful with this one!

    I mean, if you say instead on your iPhone, "Hey, I'm smokin' Marcus today, no matter what. You in?" then your parent might think you two are planning to go all Columbine on your junior high.

    So yeah, not only the code word, but the phrasing is important too. :p
     
  11. Shadow2145

    Shadow2145 comatose insomniac

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    I'm surprised nobody has mentioned using a sploof.
     
  12. The Peaceful Man

    The Peaceful Man Guest

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    I also wuold add, like if you sleep over somewhere and get high the day you go home, tell you parents youre pretty tired, it's probably the best excuse for drug fucked eyes.
     
  13. BlueLightRain

    BlueLightRain Member

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    One thing that used to help me was chewing gum. The smell was off my breath and my self confidance was up because I can handle being high. These days I don't make excuses for myself. If we all start being more open, it will make positive progress. People make too big of a deal out of it. It's one of hundreds of things that I do.
     
  14. Burning Bud 420

    Burning Bud 420 Guest

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    :sifone:So to start this off, i am 16 years old, live in New Jersey, and have smoked weed for 3 or 4 years now. i started off as a classic newbie, smoked occasionally (once every 3-6 months) and was scared to try anything more than marijuana. Now i get weed about every 1-2 weeks and whenever i have it, i try to smoke every day, if no one is home for the whole day i will smoke 3 to 4 times in that one day to keep my high as like many of you my tolerance fucks me over more than anything. I normally smoke out of gravity bongs AKA Gravs (see one here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=TJl2tFQHhqE) because there the easiest to make and get lots of smoke for what you pack in. if you took a socket pack (socket pack is like a bowl pack but sockets are for gravity bongs) and compared it with the same ammount of nugget in a bowl pack, you get way more smoke from the grav than lighting up the bowl. why? i guess it has to do suction or something.

    But to get to the point...... finally...
    I have divorced parents and 1 older brother. My mom would send me to my dads house if she found me smoking cigarettes or doing drugs to begin with. (other than alchohol maybe) and my dad would feed me to a bear if he caught me. so that leaves my brother. My brother has an odd story. Lets call my brother M for now. M was born on April 20th. the problem with that is he does not toke. he is a straight A student in college but hes in community college so he still lives at home at the age of 20. In other words he's a fucking faggot. (he acts as my second mom. "Do your homework, go to bed" that typa shit) I have more hatred towards him than anyone else in my life. So you get the point that i have to keep marijuana between me and myself. First thing i always do. Get setup before anything. this keeps your smoke sessions organized and quick. 10 seconds really matters when your trying to not get caught. that 10 seconds could be your mom walking as your lighting up, or it could be 10 seconds later, after you've exhaled. so First, if you dont share a room or smoke somewhere private, Get what ever you need to smoke, and leave it all in one drawer, or in a place you know will be able to get to quickly. Double Check everything. you dont wanna think you are in the clear and than walk into your room and realize you dont even have your lighter, or your air freshener. So Double, if necessary, Triple check your supplies. next, ask your family or who ever is in your house what they are doing today, be polite and just make small talk. then after you talk to your family, you should know what time people leave, will be back, etc.. make sure if there is NO OPEN TIME at all, dont smoke in the house, go outside or something, if you plan to smoke by yourself tell your mom your going out for a walk. don't risk being caught if you dont have to risk it in the first place. but if you do have time in the day when you think you can pull it off then go ahead and start planning for that time. late planning = bad. so lets just say its 1 in the afternoon. You know your mom is leaving at 2:30 to get a haircut then get her nails done and she says she will be back at 4. say your dad is working until 7. that means your home alone from 2:30 till 4 obviously. so you got 1 hour and a half of free time. that should be PLENTY of time. But for some people, they may have a sibling home like myself. this will happen a lot. so your home with your brother and he is all thats home. you have your stuff set up and ready. now its time to begin. remember that every second matters. quickly get your stuff from out of the drawer or wherever you put it. do things quickly but make sure your not nervous. if your nervous than you will shake a bit and that will cause you to drop something and waste more time. so do things at a good pace for you. when everything is set up, open your window, put pillows not under the door but covering the crack so smoke doesnt linger out of the room and get your brothers attention. keep your lights on and your door locked. if someone knocks at the door say you are getting dressed or any reason to have your door locked. if worst comes to worst do what someone else said on here, say you are jacking off. or if you are a girl just say you are doing makeup and getting dressed or something, most guys don't know what girls do in the bathroom or in a locked room anyways. another good one is say you are trying to do your homework. (if your in school obviously) than who ever is knocking will think you are just trying to concentrate and leave you alone. This works especially if you plan things out and say "hey im doing a project for school, im just going to be in my room for a little bit try not to bother me."
    Now you should be in your smoking area all ready to begin with false stories, and your door locked with something udner the door to block the air flow. if you need to worry about noises like people walking down the hallway, then down play music or have the tv on or anything that could make you miss the noises of your mother storming to your door because she smells weed. if you need to cover the flick of the flint on your lighter, keep a candle burning in your room and use the open flame to light your lighter without flicking the flint. just hold down the red gas button :). plus this will hoepfully cover the smell of weed if your candle is scented. and it gives you a reason for having your room smell like smoke. "oh my room smelled really bad so i lit the candle and opened the window". and NOW YOU ARE FINALLY READY to start. light your lighter, and wait a moment to listen for noises possibly coming your way. if no noises are there, then slowly light up, clear your bong, bowl, pipe, What ever you are smoking out of so no smoke enters the room. (DO NOT SMOKE IN YOUR ROOM IF YOU HAVE A JOINT OR A BLUNT. DONT DO IT YOU WILL GET CAUGHT TRUST ME) if you are using a bowl, or pipe or a bong or gravity bong, cover the bowl after your done lighting it so that the burning weed has no where to go but nowhere. once again make sure you clear your piece. Try to ghost your hits. (GHOST = HOLDING the smoke in your lungs until it dissipates in your lungs so when you exhale, no smoke comes out, just clear air) but if you can ghost your hits hold them in as long as possible. have a pillow or bed covers to cough in, so when you do cough your not loud and people wont hear you. when you exhale, exhale out your window and exhale into a spoof. (spoof is a home made "tube". its any thing that can be a tube. normally people will use paper towel rolls or toilet paper rolls. those card board tubes? you know... and inside the tube you stuff as manny dryer sheets as you can. so when you exhale, the skunky smoke turns to fluffy warm just out of the dryer clothes. but this doesnt work 100%. although i have only ever used the toilet paper/paper towel method of a spoof, there are many other methods of them out there that will probably work better. i think it would work better with a water bottle with the bottom cut off, then stuff the dryer sheets in the bottle. i only think this is better because its plastic instead of cardboard. im not sure but i feel that cardboard is too soft to contain the smoke, so i always feel like it slowly oozes out of the coardboard tubing. but this spoof has never failed me. i have never been caught. just make sure to change the tube and the dryer sheets at least once a week. you dont want your lavender smelling tube to be a weed smelling tube, then you are back to square one)

    Next, actually you should have this before you start smoking, but next, you should always have a spot to quickly place any items away in case of someone at your door or in some cases, breaking in. (as locked doors are easy to pick, especially the turn locks, and the push locks, be careful with them if you have one, or if you even have a lock to begin with lol)
    One of these spots should be easy to find ones, not secret hidden lairs that take 2 minutes to reach. smoke by something big, say you have a tv on a dresser. move the dresser up a foot or maybe less, and smoke on the dresser. so in case of an emergency like someone knocking on your door, you can stash your smoking device, your weed, lighter if need, and anything else you want to hide. then push the dresser back as far as it can go without crushing any of your items. you should put your items you want to hide behind this spot you chose after 2 or 3 hits. during this break time, spray only a little bit of air freshener or your spray of choice, then wait for about 1 minute to pass. unlock your door, walk outside to check if anyone is near you or possibly looking for you. if the coast is clear, proceed into your room and begin smoking again. after another 2 or 3 hits do the same thing but in a different pattern. go grab a drink from the fridge. you dont want to be predictable or look suspicious checking outside the same way every 5 minutes. if it comes to a 3rd or 4th time, get creative. go to the bathroom, say your looking for a pencil or something you may have dropped. grab a snack. change your clothes. oh yes. changing your clothes. you dont have to change your pants but after your completly done smoking. take off your shirt and change it.
    or wear a sweat shirt and then take off the sweatshirt when your done and put your stinky clothes in the hamper. but be sneaky, dont put it right on top, put it under a few clothes that are already in the hamper. this is just incase your clothes still smell. if they do, you dont want them to be laying right on top. if your parents to your laundry then they are in the laundry room a lot of the time. so they probably know whos clothes are whos. and plus if you put the clothes in the middle, it gives time for the smell to ware off, or if your parents happen to do laundry, they dont get right to your clothes. it will be another load or 2 before they get to it anyways. when you are done smoking, clear the evidence. if you used plastic bottles, throw em out the window and grab them when you are outside to dispose of correctly. (you don't want random bottles laying over your house, thats dirty and suspicious, not to mention illegal if it ends up on the street or in someone elses lawn)
    if there is water involved with your bottle, make sure you dump it. take your bowl, or what ever you pack your weed in, and run it under some water and soap, but do this in a bathroom sink someone doesnt walk in on you in the kitchen with a bowl on hand. make sure all resin is cleaned up and dumped. dont dump resin in the garbage. it will smell up the garbage and smell like weed. dump in out the window or down the toilet. or be like me, and save all your resins in a plastic bag. so if i ever want weed that bad but dont have any fresh weed, i just pack up a bunch of bowls of resin. it does the job just fine but smells worse. also during clean up, spray air freshener periodically. just a little spray here and there. once again not to much to the point where you can smell nothing but brazilian carnival Febreze. your parents and other people in the house will smell it and think you are trying to hide something. my rule is: only spray 3 times after each hit. all in different areas of the room. 1 spray by the window, 1 spray by the smoking accessories and weed stash, and 1 spray sort of by the door but not to close that it leaks into the hallway, i just do it in the middle of the room but centered more toward the door if you get what i mean, but im bad at explaining so dont feel stupid if you dont know what i mean lol. But anyways after that process you should be in the clear. atleast if you are an experienced smoker. because there are probably a bunch of new comers who are still at "that first high" point where they havent smoked enough to gain a tolerence. so they get mega high and cant always control themselves or get way to paranoid. but if you are at that point you probably wouldnt even think of smoking near your house anyways. so for most of us this post is only for people who just need to have a few hits. who just need that buzz because they can't relax. So this is for you guys. the people who are just like me. young and sneaky with a bad habbit. there is nothing wrong with smoking weed. unless it leads you to other drugs, then you are on your own, but trust me 1-2 grams a week doesnt hurt. So to those who are pretty new, stay away from your house. just smoke outside or when your family is gone for 2 hours atleast. you must understand that regular smokers only get high for 2 hours when they smoke. depends really on how much you smoke but normally its 2 hours. hope this helped, sorry about it being really long, but it will probably save someone. Thanks for reading! STAY HIGH ;) :sifone:
     

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