The Dog House

You're missing the point. Its not about the fact he lied. I am over it, I don't care about her nor am I jealous of her.

Its that he tried to compare our lies and say they were equal. Thats a question of integrity because obviously one lie is worse than the other.

 

I totally agree with Mama. Maybe something beyond what the church will provide for you.

 

Ok so my relationship needs counseling and growth. Jeez I'm sorry I even said anything!

You guys see one tiny aspect of our relationship and take it a bit far with the judgement.

I was simply trying to say the dog house doesn't work!



Did you even read this???
Even though the fight dissipated as fast as it caught fire, I was upset. And HE told me not to react any further, but to put him in the dog house for comparing the lies. I didn't see a particular need for this because his comment about not hating me made me want to jump his bones…but I decided to test his theory about the dog house to see if it worked.

 

But in the grand scheme of life does it really matter which lie was worse 3 years ago when each lie seems pretty harmless? Are you keeping score? I hate to sound like a negative Nancy but if you continue to bring up petty stuff like this from years ago it's going to be hard to move forward in your relationship if you are rehashing the past all the time.

 

Everyone's relationship needs growth, and most need counseling at one point or another.

If you put your relationship out there, people are going to dissect it and judge it with lots of different views and advice.

This is exactly why I NEVER discuss my relationships on the forums .

 

Thats a totally honest statement. If we rehashed the past constantly, we'd have some issues. This is a single occurrence. Perhaps you should read my posts all over the boards about my fiancé. Most of my posts talk about him because I'm literally head over heels for him like the day we first met, actually more so.

I don't know what your impression is but we're not sitting her fighting and bickering constantly. We're actually quite happy. Disagreements and fights do occur between couples from time to time. We're also both very passionate people, and I wouldn't change that.

And by the way… the issue is not the lies or the disagreement we had. Thats not my concern. I'm fully capable of understanding and solving the problem. I previously said I'm not good at problem solving but I should not have - I should have said I'm not good at levying punishment typically expected of being in the dog house. Theres a big difference. We have very few problems, and agree on most things. Something I'm actually pleased with because he's truly my best friend and lover. It's easy to reconcile most any concerns that arise.

In fact I don't even see the issue needed for the dog house in that particular situation because I was not upset. I have a suspicion that there might be another reason he suggested the dog house. Which I will explore further.

The initial issue on this thread was in fact, trying to better understand others use for the dog house.

 

I don't have a problem discussing my relationship. I talk about it all the time on the forums. I'm just saying jeez read a bit of it read my posts and don't be so quick to judge.

 

There's no need to get so angry. You came here asking for help. We're just trying to help. I don't want your relationship to fail. I've got a few extra years under my belt. I have a really strong marriage. It's one of the few things I have done right in my life. If you want to private message me about it so it's not all out here then feel free to do so. I'd be more than happy to suggest a few things that might help.

 

doghouse is silent treatment. I dont bother to talk or talk first to make up and move on..

 

I came here asking for input WEEKS ago. Input, not help.

I came here to update and say how the dog house doesn't always work. I've never actually used the dog house until two days ago. At least with a good degree of follow through.

I'm not angry, I'm defensive because I just sat and said the dog house didn't work and you both jumped on me to echo it. I got it.

 

Chill out. All we're doing is discussing a subject that was brought up.


Welcome to the internet.

 

That was actually only one part of what I was saying. I won't say anything else because what i want to say will REALLY piss you off and clearly you don't need any more advice. I'll stand by my original advice which was...good luck with that.

 

And actually the thing is, I do think it works sometimes. Just not in all cases.

It was not helpful to me in this one because I wasn't even upset. But rest assured if I'm pissed off, I will stop speaking to you and give a cold shoulder. Which is equal to a dog house.

 

Ok thanks, I really wasn't looking for relationship advice. I was looking for info on what methods or use and experience people have for the dog house. If you don't use it or find it effective, then ok.

 

I can't stand it, never actually heard it called 'the dog house' but when there is an issue I like to talk and sort it out. When in dating scenarios and I get the cold shoulder, especially over something trivial, whether it be her ignoring me or her going out and coming home all fucked up in the midst of a relationship crisis.. I'm more or less done with her in my mind.

I like a partner not a mother or teacher. But maybe I'm weird. I guess a lot of guys do like the latter.

 

:iagree:

I'm actually that way in friendships as well. I don't tolerate that shit.

 

It doesn't work for me because it she's giving me the cold shoulder I just go on about my life tell she's ready to talk. She even tried to tell me once along time ago I should sleep on the couch. I just smile and said no thank you.

Comparing anything is never a good idea because no one ever sees eye to eye.

People can tell you a lot of things about relationships and what works but you're not me and I'm not you so you have to take everything and start throwing out what doesn't work for you and yours.

 

I don't think you're weird. Its just a matter of personal preference / desire. By the way no offense but it might serve you to find more of a nurturer.

Thanks for your input on the dog house.


Looking for more if anyone has experience!

 

Thank you Jo Thats wise. I appreciate that you notice that not everyone has to do the same thing and we don't all like it the same way. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!


ok I'm off to bed, goodnight!

 

the problem is that he asked he should've just done it.