The Death of a Gentleman

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Hudson0697, Jul 18, 2014.

  1. scratcho

    scratcho Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    Common courtesy is easy. Either you get it or you don't get it. I practice it as much for myself as for others. I have to live with me and it doesn't matter whether others appreciate a little courtesy or not.
     
    Eric! likes this.
  2. Doctor Dave

    Doctor Dave Member

    I hold doors for men and women the same. It just pisses me off when you hold the girl for a door and she walks through like she's the queen of England like she deserved or earned it or something....

    Why the fuck can't they open the door themself? They have muscles right?

    Now, if we're talking about an old lady that walks with a walker, that's something different. Of course, you hold the door there.

    I have so much trouble with this male/female stuff.... I honestly wish that everyone were the same gender, and there was no division...
     
  3. RubySoho6

    RubySoho6 Organized Chaos

    I am a woman and I don't expect to be treated any differently than any other human being. With my husband, which ever one of us gets to the door first holds it open for the other one. I don't expect him to open every door for me but its common courtesy to hold the door for the person behind you, no matter who it may be. If a door is held open for me I ALWAYS say Thank You. I have no problem holding a door for anyone regardless of gender or age. I don't know if its so much about being a gentleman as much as it is everyone should have respect for one another. Treat people the way you want to be treated. It's not that difficult. Be kind to one another.
     
    scratcho likes this.
  4. VerySexual

    VerySexual Members

    The feminists have really beat us up. That leads to indifference. So I understand why some don't. I still do. Today at the post office I got to the door just before a man and his wife; I held the door for both. The man seemed surprised and said, "thank you." It's just common courtesy.
     
  5. I'm a troll

    I'm a troll Banned

    i still don't buy that anyone is surprised by a door hold. i suspect that anyone who sees that is assuming more than they are actually seeing.
     
  6. Cherea

    Cherea Senior Member

    Feminism today: equality is whatever is convenient to women. But if you point that out, you're a woman-hater with mommy issues can't get laid and probably a serial killer.
     
  7. VerySexual

    VerySexual Members

    OK, so what do we do about it?
     
  8. obruce

    obruce Guest

    I'm from the old school allways helping the old people out but now more people are open doors for me .Oh my I'm old help))))))))))))))))))))))
     
  9. TooReal

    TooReal Banned

    Now I was taught by my parents and grandparents to open a door for a lady...pull out her chair when she was to sit down....get up when a lady came back from powdering her nose...etc.

    Personally I have no issues doing such things as they are second nature to me.

    I have never had a Hardcore Feminist complain that I opened a door for her as I am a Feminist myself even as a man....but those women who are trying to take the Feminine out of Feminist...are really not Feminists.

    TooReal
     
  10. monkjr

    monkjr Senior Member

    I don't think this is always the case but there is a lot of truth to this, and the movement of political correctness is misused.
     
  11. monkjr

    monkjr Senior Member

    Cute story.

    Something similar like that happened to me.


    But I also want to add, that polite acts of kindness no matter who is doing them or not....also seem to be happening less and less because everyone is like self-involved with their technology.


    So like people miss random acts of kindness and politeness, or miss opportunities to perform them, you only see the bad cuz getting hit or witnessing something bad or being hit/mugged with then snap you back out of cyberspace and into reality hecka fast.

    It's the younger generations though like 24, and under who are losing basic politeness and morals though and start stupid shit like:

    1. The knockout game (which I think was inspired inadvertently by SNL's digital skit by Andy Sandburg)

    2. The cinnamon challenge

    3. Cyber bullying.

    --

    Not to mention records have been shattered in terms of the youngest person every to perform said crimes:

    1. Mutilation of a human being
    2. Blackmail
    3. Fraud
    4. Thievery
    5. Sex crimes among others including other kids
    6. Bad driving/road crimes
    7. Riots
    8. Murder
    9. Mass online crimes like stalking, and hacking


    Yeah their can be made an argument that the moral fiber of society is unravelling, but that doesn't mean all people are bad, it just means there's a bad movement going on and alarming trends.
     
  12. expanse

    expanse Supporters HipForums Supporter

    I have ladies ask me to get things from top shelves in stores all of the time (by all the time I mean like once a year or two on average). It feels good to me.
     
  13. tommeem1

    tommeem1 Members

    Those doors can be heavy for someone of my weakness. Though, I don't underestimate the strength of pushing with my butt or pulling the door open a bit enough to squeeze inside. Also, I don't understand the concept of "Push" and "Pull". I mean, I understand it, but I panic from the on the spot word association game that I do the opposite or I just stand there. But, I figure it out sooner or later. And of course you have automatic doors that don't sense you are alive, which personally make me feel bad. So, I just sadly walk to the rear with shame in my face to the "Push" and "Pull" doors. That's my safety net. Never been in a situation without them.
     
  14. tommeem1

    tommeem1 Members

    It's good to know guys like you are okay with being asked that. I'm that girl, being at 4'8" and I have wondered if it's weird if I ask. I also ask women. Whoever is there at the moment.

    Once I asked a male and his lover walked off. Usually the women stand there. It was particularly funny because he stood there for quite a bit looking at me and looking at his clearly walking away lover. The poor guy didn't know what to do with himself. I was just about to say, "Forget it" when he got the stuff for me and ran off. I couldn't even thank him. Lol!
     
  15. tommeem1

    tommeem1 Members

    I'm sure considering she was old, she had that look of shock because her body is slower to respond. When I get really sick and someone helps me, I have been told I look like a scared bunny about to get hit by a semi. It's not that I'm scared. It's just I'm too tired to react to people. One time, I literally put my hand on someone's face and pushed them away. Now, to many that looks like I was fighting with them. I was actually trying to caress them, but because I was really sick, I stopped mid session and thought to myself, "They get it. I'm good. I don't need to tell them."

    And psh, no need to feel pity for others.
     
  16. tommeem1

    tommeem1 Members

    Personally, I think when a man doesn't notice these things about other men, it's because they think of themselves as different, special in a way. It serves as self-validation to feel and think they are a good partner and a rarity. If women don't notice these things, I usually think they project their painful experiences with the male population onto society as a whole. All in all, if you are able to disconnect yourself, you will notice that men still do this. Plenty of men of all races, ages, etc still do this.

    Oh, and by the way I don't think this has anything to do with Feminism. Feminism is more complex than whether or not the male population holds the door for women. Also, I don't think this has anything to do with being polite; i.e making you a good person. I think it's just about societal standards. It's what you do and you should do it. That's it.
     
    1 person likes this.
  17. autophobe2e

    autophobe2e Senior Member

    whether or not i hold open a door for you will tend to have more to do with which way the door is opened and our positions relative to it than to your gender. I see a lot of "gentlemen" opening doors for ladies when doing so means that the lady has to awkwardly step around them, or they do it when the lady is very far away and now feels they need to break into a jog just so they don't have to hold the door open for too long, just so they can stoke their own egos. just be considerate and practical, gendering the issue is, in this gentleman's opinion, a load of wank.
     
  18. usedtobehoney

    usedtobehoney Senior Member

    I think there's two sides to this coin:

    One side is what you do within the realm of random, everyday occurrences.

    The other is what you do when you're on a date or somehow romancing or pursuing someone.

    I appreciate practicality in everyday circumstances and there are many times that I've opened doors or helped men, women, older people, children, etc. I don't expect anything of anyone in random everyday occurrences. If I'm on a date I appreciate and expect more.
     
  19. Just_a_woman

    Just_a_woman Member

    It's not just the men. Here where I live, women hold doors open, too, for men, or other women. Women give their seats to somebody who looks like he/she needs it most. I think it's cultural, but a culture that's being lost.

    Unfortunately, politeness seems to be not cool for lots of people.

    I absolutely love to give and receive acts of kindness. I love when strangers give me a friendly smile and a have a nice day greeting. It happens more often between older people.

    With younger people, it works less, but some still have good manners and a pleasure to be kind.

    When a person holds a door open for me, or smiles me a good day, I feel less lonely. It makes the moment special. And that's the reason I do the same: if it makes me feel so good, it may make other people feel good, too. It feels good for the giver and the receiver.

    I resent the aggressive manners of the world. Kind people, be them of any gender, make it feel less dangerous, less lonely, more humane.

    Sure, some people do it to advertise themselves, but I see a lot more who are just genuinely polite.
     
  20. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Lifetime Supporter

    My personal rule is person with a free hand gets the door, or you take turns.
     
    Eric!, Bilby and 6-eyed shaman like this.

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