The Day The Chat Stood Still...

been a while.. id have to say 25/27yrs old..

 

my jimmy has same engine ...last time i had flashing engine light and no power to get up hills it turned out the converter guts had broke and melted a bit...the broken part turned sideways inside and was blocking most of the flow

i found the problem by loosening off the y-pipe at the manifolds and taking for a noisy ride...it had normal power when it leaked bad so i knew the converter was restricting the exhaust flow

 

I don't know why I read the comments on political articles. The people commenting are usually less intelligent than the computer they used to post said comment.

 

ok thanks....kinda sucks I have a long drive tomorrow.....guess I will be sticking to highway 2

 

This story reminds me alot of something my brother would do. He isn't with me anymore so it's nice to hear something that reminds me of exactly what he'd do and say.

 

Thanks.. due to staying up and working early. Squirrel is going to sleepy now..
My stupid ass will probably be up in a couple hours..for now night night .

 

Nite Squirrel.

 

Bought the dog an undeserved, overpriced soft purple rhino toy this morning at markets. He looks cute playing with it though. He loves soft squeaky animals. This can replace the ball inside the house. house toy only though. If it goes outside it loses all house privalages.

 

I have woken

 

It used to be plush and soft. Now it's just a big ugly mess with half an ear missing. =\ it's an endangered species!

 

Yesterday I picked up 5 Blue Point Junipers on discount....





I have no idea where I'm going to plant them.

 

trying to decide what to do today. beach sounds good but being its the weekend i think lots of others think the same thing, i am not a fan of large groups there....i should have gone yesterday.

 

hubby is at work until this evening, had a stupid morning meeting. they should just send a fucking memo, theres no way that enough changes happen each month to make them come in early on a saturday. and then i think the intention is to head up into the mountains and see what remains to be salvaged from the family cabin before it is sold. he is not happy about it. hes hoping to get grandpa's gun cabinet. it shouldnt be sold though, they should keep it in the family. sometimes i really hate being right. i knew exactly what kind of money hungry asshats i was dealing with, from very early on in our relationship. i just wasnt raised like that. but there is nothing i can do. there is no way for us to afford to buy the cabin outright, it would be insanely expensive, plus it would be very difficult to raise any veggies or critters up that high, such a short season. and it would be very impractical for raising the boys, and too far to travel up and down to visit anyone in town (2 hours one direction) its just so sad. they want the money. the money the money. let me recount a tale for you...

we were up at the cabin. i was sitting next to the fire out back with hubby's mom, and his uncle. hubby abandoned me to go have a smoke with his cousin, so there i am, left to make tactful conversation and not waves. i was doing fine until the topic turned to marriage, in a sort of "so when you two gonna get married" kind of way. i attempted to sidestep the conversation, but was struggling to find my "out" without being disrespectful. thats when his mom tells his uncle "she doesnt want to get married because she doesnt want to change her name" (which is true, im keeping my fucking name, hell or high water. hubby just had not come around to my point of view yet. i will have a wedding when the name thing isnt going to be a thorn in his side for the rest of our lives)
so there i am, trying to figure out how to adjust to this being out in the open when his uncle says....
"why dont you want the name? theres money in that name."

and i was like THAT is exactly why i dont want it. im not interested in the "family fortunes" the money they have all lived off of, borrowed from, etc that was built by the grandparents. they built a family, built a business, were very successful, and all the kids want to do is divvy it up. get the most dollars out of the property, and fuck the memories.
the whole thing is gross to me. it offends my sensibilities. now we have gotten a sum from the estate (i dont think it includes the sale of the cabin, but again, the money does not matter to me) which will probably fuck up our way of living through the taxes and everything. but we can set aside money for the boys' college. or put a down payment on another property, or land. build our own cabin, somewhere. but man, its a crazy spot to be in. and he is feeling the loss of family members that he thought better of. at least he has the memories. but its a damn shame.

 

dang Mother's Love...

Dealing with money and relatives and inheritance can be an awful thing. Be it relatives by blood or marriage.

I really got to hand it to you for being nice and polite around them. I was nice for years and years and only now am beginning to be willing to say exactly how I think I feel about certain things. I say "I think I feel" because I've discovered my "feelings" about a thing, or even a person, is subject to change. For me - what I feel and think right now may not be the same thing as what I think or feel about a person say several years down the line...after I've gotten to know that person "or thing"...I'm not inconsistent...its that I admit my personal, inner initial "judgement" about a person/thing may prove to be flawed on down the line, and according to what I see - I may need to adjust my decision or "judgement" as to what I see as the truth.


People and family are the damnshitting hardest and worst things to have to deal with and "judge"... and yet we all have to deal with this subject.

There are those of you that really seem to have ideal situations on all fronts...and I envy that. I do. and I can't imagine living that dream.

I believe its out there. Or at least I think there Maybe is a functional dysfunctional family that likes each other and can be about each other all the time.

I can't imagine it though.

_____________________________________


That's funny as all get out about the name, ML.

Glad y'all got that figured out.

 

..at the time i thought grade 7 and 8 were the worst years of my life

turns out they were probably the funnest

in most of my dreams about fun times with old friends we are all still that age in them

 

there was a ton of shit when my grandfather died too....some crazy relatives...hell even my grandmother was crazy

they were raiding his garage before we even had his funeral...which was just a few days after he passed


by the time my grandmother passed her care home fees were basically her complete pension just pennies left....everything they owned had been taken by certain relatives that im glad dont even carry the family name

i really like my last name...the girl i would have married has kept her name after she married someone else and her kids have her name...i would have thought it was weird but im pretty sure she would used my named if it was me she married...its better than the one she ended up marrying (and is supposedly divorced from now but i dont actually believe her)

 

speaking of dreams..

Ive to have my bologna and mustard sammich every night, sometimes waking in the middle my sleep for my sammich.
bologna sammich give me crazy dreams.. I really like them.


well last nights dream was funny because I was at Rollingalongs house. I got out this old airplane, this hippy dude with high top tennis shoes is there with this hatchback .. I have Julie my dog with me. We get inside his car he sparks a doobie. We have talked before so I know its his voice. we get back to his house and I see his chickens and big trees and the wind farms.. Julie and Captain are running around playing when they both disappear.. Im worried but Rolling says its ok bud its an island and she cant go anywhere and I know everyone here, Captain will bring her back.. I felt happy that Julie could enjoy the wide open space.. Rolling said he had to go run somewhere, and I didnt realize I left my smokes in the car. hes gone a while and Im nicking. I go inside this old house and the wall paper was buckling.. there is another person there, woman she seems like a farmer, but she had puppies inside. I tell her rolling left and I forgot my smokes and she give me some, rolling comes back and he has this guitar hes using it as a shovel .. I take it and start playing it and Julie and Captain come back and lay in the hole Rolling dug in front of the amp .. He made an apple pie and we smoked much bud.

the end..

 

I never have dreams like that...

 

my name is the most obvious link to the revolutionary war. that makes me eligible for the Daughters of the American Revolution, and likewise any daughters of mine. there are grants and programs and crap like that. its a club i am entitled to belong to, even if im not in it at the moment. but its a really cool thing. my family is old roots, and new roots. my father's maternal grandmother came from Ireland. on my moms side there are stories of Choctaw heritage. thats a hard one to prove, but i did find a possible link in the census records and Dawes report to a man from "choctaw, Mississippi" which could easily be the people as well as the place. her father was adopted, so i know nothing about his ancestors. then you cant account for other fathers, if no one said anything about it, so genetically you could be anyones bastard offshoot. i would like to get my genetics looked at, i think it would be super cool to see where my roots touch, because science

history is cool. i dont like trying to remember dates, but the people fascinate me. their stories. we are all descended exclusively from people who survived long enough to reproduce. just one broken link 100 years ago and how many people wouldnt be here? one wrecked ship, one plague. think of the deaths that did happen, who might their descendants have been? its great to think about. because it is what is. i think most people feel better to see themselves as special, unique, here with a purpose. but that kind of implies that the whole chain of your heritage occurred exactly that way just to produce you. which seems ridiculous to me. our regular-ass stories are just as worthy as a great persons life story. we are what we make of ourselves. we exist.

im weird, and i think too much.

 

The other night - well, 2 nights in a row.

I dreamed in very vivid real-life definition about just walking and talking with and only touching the last man I truly loved. He passed in 2009.

The next night I dreamed I was at the house of an old childhood bike-riding friend of mine while a local woman walked in. This local bike rider's wife was killed in a fatal crash July 3rd. I didn't know her, but I had friends that knew and loved her. In my dream I'm very pleased to meet her...told her I knew her...her name was ****** and my name is LYNN! I'm . good night alive. She was real nice, but seemed a little confused. lol I was just pleased as punch to see her!!! That she is dead didn't come to me in the dream, nor did the fact that my buddy is also dead....and I'm thrilled that the land of the dead didn't come to me in the dream is what I'm saying. Everything always looks real nice and life-like, just like me clicking away and typing.

What in the world!

I think I'm entering someplace. Its not unpleasant there but it is odd when I wake up.