The coming out thread

im jst lonley looking for a freind

 

i've liked boys since kindergarten!

 

I retract my earlier statements.

 

well with this many posts I cant really not join in. Im gay. Proud of it. Whats up

 

Yes, of course I'm gay.

 

I'm 18 and I'm bi. It feels so good to say it.

 

My name's Nick I'm 16 and I've never told anyone before, but... I LIKE OTHER BOYS. BECAUSE I'M GAY!

Holy $&@! That feels good to say. Great thread.

 

...I'm gay and i've told my parents but i'm really not feeling all out and proud and i don't know why?? My parents were really good about it and not at all upset/worried etc. I just don't feel like shouting it from the roof tops.

 

This thread is a fantastic idea!

 

I am a GAY MAN, not CURIOUS, not EXPLORING, I LIKE MEN! I'm damn proud of that, wow this really does feel good to say, im screaming it out right now !

 

Yes we know you're screaming...we heard you all the way over here! No, no thats just BS...Welcome to the site and yeah sometimes it just feels damn good to say it. I'm Gay! I'm Me and I like being me! Glad you're here and feel free to jump in with your thoughts, feelings and questionsl.

 

I guess I qualify as bi but for the most part I don't bother to tell anyone because it feels like non-applicable info considering I am interested in so few people (and it never goes anywhere good). I haven't been a relationship but I do crush pretty hard, in other words I totally fall for people without telling them (even when it seems they might reciprocate) and this only ends in me getting the short stick.

Apparently, my lack of relationships and intimate interactions lead a lot of people to tag me as asexual, which I don't particularly appreciate. At the very least I would like to be recognized as a sexual person even though I don't have a bunch of party clothes (I rarely feel an urge to shop for clothing and I don't really like the indie-folk look either, so I don't hit up the free bin) and I don't flirt with many people. (Everyone seems to be in a relationship, I don't want to get interested in a person who might be taken.) When I do flirt, it goes one of two ways, I either do this really intense eye contact thing or I just joke around really sarcastically with them. In a way, i wonder if the two ways that I attempt to show people that I am interested in them are ineffective. The eye contact thing definitely gets attention but I am usually hesitant to talk to people after that because I feel like they expect me to say something particularly alluring and I'm not going to. Joking around sarcastically makes me feel more comfortable around people but I also feel like they don't really get that I'm flirting with them. It's not like I have a sign next to me that says 'I only do this with people I like'.

Anyway, I get crushes on guys and girls but I am usually more interested in pursuing things with guys probably because it seems more realistic. I never really find myself in situations where I would potentially hook up with a girl. I usually approach most girls as friends and don't really talk to the ones I find attractive...strange, i know. Whereas with a guy, if I am interested in them I am more apt wonder if they are interested in me.

To completely step on everything I just said, the only intimate interactions I have had were with girls. Huh, right? In my preteens/early teens I experimented with a few girls, I think I just had a sudden onset of sexual energy and turned to my peers (most of whom were girls) to explore it. I wasn't in love with any of them, I don't really remember being particularly attracted to either of them (they were my friends) but they were there.

My first girl crush was probably in my sophomore year of high school, I wasn't really in the best place then but this girl, Dani, became my friend and was super nice to me. She was/is a lesbian and told me all about the first girl with whom she fell in love. She was pretty, I think while we were good friends I didn't want to admit that she was pretty. Anyway, as previously mentioned I tend to get pretty sarcastic with people I feel comfortable with, I think that didn't work so well with her and drove her away. It didn't help that I pretty much only wanted to hang out with her alone because a lot of her friends were obsessed with anime. Anyway, after a while we started to drift apart, I think I wrote a few nasty letters to her/we made up/most make up are just truces, so it didn't mend much. Once we finally ended our friendship, I took to admiring her from afar for the rest of the year.

Other girls I've found attractive include:
- A former classmate who performed the "Woman Who Loved to Make Vaginas Happy" in our uni production of the Vagina Monologues last year. She had awesome breasts that she seemed to love to show off by always wearing low cut shirts, really nice long hair and cute face.
- A girl with whom I was once in a feminist group on campus, I actually still see her around. She's about my size (small, might weigh a bit more), seems really fun (really friendly, nice, daring but religious) and has a really pretty face. We've never really hung out one-on-one because I'm not really into college partying but we used to live in the same building. I've always thought she was really gorgeous girl.

Currently though, my only semi-crushes are guys:
- One is a guy that is lives next door (farther away than it sounds, my roommates and I live between the trash room and some sort of electrical closet in the hallway). I've only seen this guy about 3 times and 2 of those times I looked like hell, anyway we always have brief but interesting convos in the elevator. Still, I don't think any of the elevator convos have constitute as solid interaction so I don't see that going anywhere, even though I've only lived in the building for three months.
- Guy 2 is somewhat more accessible. He's recently gotten involved with a student organization that I head up. He's in several bands that play all over town, is usually at every indie/local (folk/punk/etc) show and books shows for bands, so he's always giving me fliers for different shows. I met him at an infoshop, where he volunteers and the second time I saw him we had this ridiculously long convo about everything from veganism to technology to anarchy/non-violence. I've been around him socially in a few different venues and I'm intrigued but I am not so sure he is in the same way. He knows a lot of girls that probably subscribe more to what seems to be his main subculture (almost-crust punkiness, something I am so not and won't even pretend to be), the main thing he talks to me about is veganism/animal rights (a focus of my org). I don't want to be simply known as vegan girl, so i am not sure I'll get anywhere with him.

Either way, I am interested in having a real relationship with someone in the near future and wonder if my reluctance to declare sexual preference chills my chances of any sort of romantic interaction. I mean I haven't even been on a date, this probably in part due to the fact that I am hesitant to acquaintances when I am interested in people (because of past experiences with untrustworthy "friends" that used that info to humiliate me).

The fact that I don't bother to declare my sexuality is a bit odd considering I know a good amount of GLB(I don't really know anyone trans) people. My closest friend at my college is queer (she'll identify as nearly all subsets at any given time). Still, I never end up in any situations where I would discuss my feelings towards the sexes. I've hung out in the Pride Student Union but I've never been to a gay club. A few weeks ago, I told my friend from school that I could "kind of go wither way," so she invited me to go out to a gay club with her and some friends but I didn't go because I get totally lame when I come back home (we're on Spring Break and from the same area). Other than that I've never had opportunity to check one out because while I know a good amount of non-heteronormative people, I'm not really friends with most of them- I just casually know them or we're sort of supposed to be friends but never hang out. So for the most part, I haven't explored intimate interactions with other girls but I am not opposed to them...although I do wonder whether I ever intend to explore any of this because I am nearing the end of my college career. I haven't really let completely loose in college because I don't really enjoy many of popular ways of letting loose, but it does seem like if I am going to anything (further) experimental now would be the time.

 

Yes! I agree.

Just stop thinking so much and turn the lights down with a friend, have a little wine, maybe some smoke if you got it and then start touching each other.

Don't think about it - do it.

 

Shale, I like you. Your dirty.

 

Why, Thank You. (I think)



Someone once asked me if sex was nasty. Told them "only if you do it right."

 

I so need to get into Ginsberg and Kerouac as well as going deeper into the writings of WS Burroughs. Your sig pic just totally reminded me of that.

 

KyndVeggie4Peace, Amen, amen. I've been with a few women, some agreeably and two memorably (one a great person and one enthusiastic in bed) but one day I knew my heart is just not in it, that there's just something about boys. My favorite new word became hetroflexual when I heard the definition before the word. A young man said, "I'm straight but, well, you know, things happen." OK, I'm gay but well,, you know, things happen.

Kind readers, please understand that I means boys of any age, but also understand that underage are unapproachable, also that fortunately many are still boys well in to old age!

P.S. As a vegetarian your "name" intrigues me, too. I wonder if you still read this forum.
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