The coming out thread

Discussion in 'Coming Out and Confused!' started by Samhain, Sep 21, 2006.

  1. Canucker

    Canucker Member

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  2. cartmanblue

    cartmanblue Member

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    *Hugs everyone*

    I've been visiting this forum for a while now, and I think it's time that I make my presence known. I'm 18, and I've known I was bi-sexual since I was 14. Over the years I have become more interested in other guys, so much that I'm starting to think I might be full blown gay.

    I haven't come out to my parents, or even to my friends. Only a couple of people that I trust and love know who I really am. If only the world wasn't so closed-minded about sexual orientation...
     
  3. Oral Hoosier 74

    Oral Hoosier 74 Member

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    I think that part of me is bicorious, for the most part I am still straight, however part of me is turned on to expiermenting bisexuality. I would like to find me some male/female couple that is also bisexual that could ease me into expirementation. I would like to expirement both ways before I decide on settling down with a lifelong partner. I'm still in the closet with this as my family and friends wouldn't understand.
     
  4. howudoin

    howudoin Member

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    i'm gay!
     
  5. dimarvalc

    dimarvalc Member

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    I was a little afraid to post this, but, what the heck... Well, for my part, I came out to myself 3 days ago. I'm 30 to 31 right now, and I've known I was gay since 1999, but I left it at that.

    I've been living wearing different masks all this time, with my parents, with my friends (the few I have), with my coworkers.

    My parents dislike gays, always making jokes about them, and saying things like "damn gays" or things like that. Each time they talk like that, I feel like they're stabbing my heart with a dagger. It hurts, because I know I might be gay and will never be able to tell them, as long as they keep up this attitude, and not as long as I live with them. [​IMG]

    We have several gay guys at work, and since my coworkers don't know I'm gay, I get to hear all the things they talk about them. Again, it pierces my heart. I cannot let them figure out I'm gay because I'm afraid they'll be talking like that about me. They are not homophobic, they don't hate them. After all, we work together. But the things they say are always hurtful.

    I have 2 or 3 friends, none of them close enough to confide in them. And my sister, although I'm very close to her (she's 25 now), I'm afraid to lose that closeness... I would die if I lose her.

    So, I've been living the past 8 years with a pain in my heart all the time, and since I still do not have a car of my own, I cannot go places to vent my frustration.

    Everything went to dodo land last week. I've been renting gay themed movies, to try and get a feeling of what it is to be gay, and last monday, I saw the movie Coffee Date. Read my journal if you want to know how I felt afterwards and what happened to me. It's too long to post in here. (see my webpage on my profile)

    It shook me to my core to see images of such love and affection between two men. I went into overload and broke down. Of course, being unable to confide in anyone, I began desperately to look for info on the net that would help me. My catharsis came after I read some posts by one of the actors from the movie, Wilson Cruz, an openly gay actor, puertorican like me, living in Los Angeles. WOW... it shook the very deepest core of my being. Especially this abstract:

    "You have an opportunity to teach here. You have to step up to that responsibility like generations before you. You come from a long line of survivors, call on their spirits as you did with me and let the light they reflect light your way. Hold your head up! Your crown has been paid for, all you have to do is put it on your head, and wear it." (posted by Wilson Cruz on his MySpace Blog on Monday, June 18, 2007)

    Well, after much thought and soul-searching, I came out to myself on wednesday. Today has been one of my happiest days in a very long time. I feel like I have no more heavy weight to carry. I dressed up with long-sleeved shirt and tie to go to work (something I stopped doing on 2007) and I feel pumped, spiritwise.

    I hope one day I can come out to my parents. I love them very much and I hate to be forced to lie to them everytime we talk because I have to hide the fact I'm gay. It's tiresome. It erodes the spirit. As people have said many times, the closet corrupts. I'm at least a little happy I'm no longer in it, at least to myself.

    Thanks for reading. [​IMG]

    And I'm still a virgin... (no kissing, no hugging, no nothing yet)[​IMG]
     
  6. Puzuzzu

    Puzuzzu Member

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    whoa, dude, lets have sex!! :D
     
  7. reve

    reve Member

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    Ummm well, I came out recently, and I'm kind depressed of how my parents think. They said they love me, but still they keep on telling me that I need to get a gf just to "experiment" a bit and everything can change. I'm not sure what I should do about that [​IMG]
     
  8. Shale

    Shale ~

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    How sad. But, maybe looking up. We are soooo different that I doubt that I can give you any advice without coming off as insulting. I really do respect that not everyone is politically, in-your-face, Gay Pride Parades type militants. But that is sometimes necessary, to stand in the light and grow. You might get stepped on, but is it worse than withering?

    For some reason, I never actually came out to my mom when Jim and I lived together. I thought it would be obvious but she later said she thought we were roommates. Isn't denial handy? Same roommate for five years, living in five different cities and traveling the world together.

    What she did react to was when I fell in love with a black woman (I'm White). She got insulting and I didn't speak with her for two years. I have determined, since before I turned 18, that my life is mine to live, not my parents'.

    I think coming out is healthy, and you are starting to get that feeling yourself. Living a lie takes a toll at least on me. Also, you diminish yourself by succumbing to other peoples' abuse of who you are, as well as diminishing every other gay man by not speaking up.

    Don't go get yourself beat up however. Know your environment. If you are living in Saudi Arabia or Alabama or some equally backward place, consider running to the nearest city where you can be yourself.

    Good luck on coming out. It does take a load off being yourself and being proud of who you are.
     
  9. Albatron

    Albatron Member

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    Hey Man good for you for coming out to your parents, I still haven't told my parents I'm bi, though I do think my mom at leat suspects something. Just keep on doing what feels right, you can't do anything but be yourself.

    Though I hate that some gay people I've come out to don't believe me when I say I'm bi, they think I'm just in transition or somthing. It's annoying.
     
  10. seamonkey89

    seamonkey89 Member

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    I haven't really come out to anyone yet except myself. I live in a small town in Texas, so it's not hard to imagine that most people aren't too keen on gay people. I'm kind of in an odd situation because I'm completely past thinking that there is anything wrong with being gay, and have personally accepted that I'm gay. However, I haven't gotten the courage to come out to anyone. My family is pretty homophobic, but I'm pretty sure that they wouldn't disown me or anything like that. I had a coworker who was cool with gay people and thought about coming out to her. I have had certain people point out in a condescending way that I have "gay" mannerisms, my response to which was something like "Why do people care about how someone sits or holds their hands, aren't there more important things to worry about?" I'm really tired of being in the closet and would love to date guys, and I'm tired of being evasive. I always avoid openly denying or admitting to being gay and try to sidestep questions related to liking women. I am tired of this and get mad at myself for not just admitting that I like guys. All that said, it feels good to just admit that I'm gay :)
     
  11. rizzob0x

    rizzob0x Member

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    I have recently realized and accepted that I am gay, and I'm dying to come out. I'm thinking of telling my older sister, though, I'm not sure exactly how to tell her. It's going to be so awkward. Does anyone have any tips on how to get the conversation started?
     
  12. Mr. Melty

    Mr. Melty Member

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    It depends what kind of person she is. Some people I would just say "I'm gay" out of nowhere, and some you'd have to wait until the conversation sways to...something you can come out with?

    Also, I posted awhile ago, but I finally came out to some friends, which was cool cause one of them didn't believe it for like half an hour, and then spazed out cause she was so happy to finally have a gay friend >.<
     
  13. Lillim

    Lillim Member

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    I'm Bi, well I think! I'm attracted to guys as well as girls.. I know that, but I've never been able to really approach someone, or admit it in rl. I don't know if or when I'll be able to, but I can only hope something gives me the motivation to do it soon. I feel horrible keeping so many things hidden from the people I love.
     
  14. Electric boy

    Electric boy Member

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    I am in the same boate lillim but i only started coming out when i talked to my previous boyfriend (who is now only my m8). - Before i had only told a fue close friends (manly the guys i had sex with) now most of the senior part of my school know i am BI - i did get some abuse but over all it is a big releaf to be honest and to be yourself.
     
  15. kcinic

    kcinic Guest

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    im gay.

    Trying to come out but not sure who to tell can someone give me sme ideas.

    Cant tell my dad... dont like him anyway, dont know about my friends, my older stepbro is my best friend but i dont want to hurt that, my mom i still live with for the next few yrs (till college) and ya thats about it.
    any ideas?

    Ps always looking for someone to talk to who knows the real me just shoot me an email if you get the chance Thanks for the help
    Kcinic_original@yahoo.com
     
  16. Karmalized

    Karmalized Member

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    So here goes nothing...

    I'm bi.

    I've never done anything with a girl though. But I think I'd probably like to. I have a bf, I think he suspects that I'm bi, and I'm thinking he likes it. Typical male. haha

    I find myself being more equally attracted to both sexes as time goes on. I'll probably stick to boys though. Maybe an occasional fling with a fem? Dunno.

    Man, it feels good to come out. I'll probably only ever tell my bf. He deserves a heads up, I mean, we're eventually getting married, so, yeah. Parents and stuff: too iffy.

    This is a very liberating thread, let's keep it going!
     
  17. Totally_Hopeless

    Totally_Hopeless Member

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    I'm gay....i just like guys....i dont kno why. sumn about them just turns me on...girls dont turn me on at all..so i'm def not bi....i sound gay n bc of that sum ppl suspect..i've only come out to one guy, whom i thought was gay also...still not sure if he is or isnt tho...nehw, i dont plan on tellin my parents or any family members..prob only this one guy n my future bf. Also i'm 20 n never been kissed and untouched in any way!
     
  18. Karmalized

    Karmalized Member

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    is no one else going to come out of the closet?
     
  19. Electric boy

    Electric boy Member

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    I am coming out - any way kcinic my m8's knew when my ex let the 6th form know that we were shagging on a school trip also before he said some of my close m8's knew already.
     
  20. david43

    david43 Member

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    i am 14 an i am gay and i have a huge crush on this str8 guy
     

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