The Begining

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by Anavarius, Jan 12, 2005.

  1. Anavarius

    Anavarius Member

    Sunshine bestowed upon my face,
    As my dreams simply drift off without a trace.

    The eyes are welcomed to the world avast,
    Till sense and reality anchor the transfer of contrast.

    Your day seems so end-less with no true conclusion,
    Existance becoming a meaningless obtrusion.

    Insanity dressed in a gown of white,
    For the halo adorned forth my head would truly delight.

    I take her hand and lose my heart,
    We dance till forever becomes the start.
     
  2. Anavarius

    Anavarius Member

    Its the first time I am sharing something I wrote. I only call it poetry because it says the things my soul cannot.
    For me thats what defines poetry.
     
  3. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

    Rhyme scheme is too predictable here, try free verse, or another scheme, but don't force it, it has to flow and still make sense.
     
  4. *peace*child*

    *peace*child* Member

    You say its things your soul cannot say, so I say you should put your whole heart and soul into it then. Give it more feeling, a deeper feeling. Say what you don't ever say. Don't care about what others will think. And keep writing. Don't force it, like KittenX said. Not all poems rhyme. Good luck, I look forward to watching you grow in your poetry writing.
     
  5. Anavarius

    Anavarius Member

    Thank you I will give both of your advice a shot.

    I am more of an artist than a poet.

    Sometimes I forget that are sometimes two totally different things.
    :)
     

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