the balance of sex in a relationship

Hmmm....I had sex with my boyfriend of 3 years before we were official....it was like sex....then "ok lets make it official"....and he practically lived with me for the first few months and we had sex alot....but we also cuddled and talked for hours on end and got to really know each other. If someone I was with had sex with me then said they wanted to hold off for a while that would be damn confusing to me. But I also know that I did that recently to the last few guys I was dating. My reasoning was because I wasnt connecting emotionally with them and didnt want anything serious so I didnt want to have sex with them anymore. I eventually stopped seeing them all together. As of now I have had a new boyfriend for about a week and we had sex almost the same day we made it official. Im sorta feeling like thats all we have right now...since I dont feel a super strong connection other than sexually. Unless someone is witholding for religious purposes....there has to be something more to the story on his part. Maybe he has trust issues...has been cheated on or something...or is insecure about his body or his performence in bed. Have you had a good talk to him about this?

 

I'm too lazy to read others responses -so I hope this isn't too repetitive. It sounds like there are a few explanations (I can only be bothered to include 7).


1) religion

2) guilt

3) guilt (or religion) combined with wanting a long term relationship.

4) inexperience combined with wanting a long term relationship.

5) dumb confusion (if he is young, I am guessing this is likely).

6) he is gay, and does not want to have (more) sex with you.

7) someone else.

 

I'm sorry to be too shallow..but Sex is Very very important to me..it is one of my biggest joys in life..But what makes it interesting with days to run also depends on other factors...

 

I've said some dumb ass BS trying to sound like the nice guy before. It usually works.
If that's the case it's actually kind of a positive thing. It means that he really likes you.

 

LMAO, so true. Get a couple of drinks in him and see how his "good intentions" get left by the way-side.

 

Ouch. Seems to have taken a turn for the worse. I personally wouldn't put up with that sht. Unless he's putting on an act, it's always gonna be all about him. I say roll out.

 

"But this guy isn't exactly like me because I see much bigger issue with his not really talking about you. That's a great big red flag to me. The lack of sex may be a problem for you, but the lack of interest in your life and feelings is a lot more troubling to my mind. It shows a serious self-involvement, and trust me on this one, I know all about being involved with a person who has the world revolve around them alone."

yup^

 

Sorry to hijack this thread. But confused little one: stop giving it up so damn early! Jeez, you gotta make em' wait a couple of weeks anyway! I've had many relationships and the shortest ones are always the ones where they give it up before I truly fall for them.