The Aristochats

im waiting around for someone that i know wont call

back hurts bad today so it doesnt really matter id be doing nothing if i wasnt waiting anyway

nice day maybe ill go for a drive or something...or take some pills and try and wash my car seats a little better get some more dirt out (from previous owners)...i dont like it the way they stain if they get rained on it makes it look real gross

 

That's what I thought you meant. I still like it!

 

Friday evening I scrubbed and hosed down the cushions on my outdoor furniture. None of the stains or ground in dog dirt came off but at least I know they had a good scrubbing.

 

i ended up washing those seats again..actually it was more of just a rinse because i had left them pretty soapy last time (cleaned them just a few days ago)

i love this bissell powerlifter machine it works great for seats...bought it used for $30 a few years back

also ended up spending a bunch of time organizing tools....still have about 40 hours to go on that job

 

I was watching the Summer of Love video that Mally posted in Virtual Wilderness.

I'm done now.

I showered.

I ate a hot dog with kimchi on it.

I think I'll have some more coffee now.

That's my story, Lynn.

 

..

 

So I was advised yesterday that after our holiday my good friends who are together would be leaving to pursue careers elsewhere in another country. And I'm kinda flattened by it. I all of a sudden feel alone, like that part in the ghost and darkness where they kill the first lion and the next is by itself for the first time in its life and it's scared.

So I have my miss and other friends, I know. But I feel so empty and alone now. And they haven't even left yet. I almost feel like well other than crying, like what do I do? It's fucked. =[

 

N'aww those party hat ears. ^.^

 

I'm sorry to hear that Irmi. There's nothing to do but wish them well.

Sometimes people come back after a little while of being gone.

 

But I know they won't be the same people. Everything will change by the time they get back or if they get back and what if this is the last trip and fun time we really have together?

Like I know it's ridiculous to think you'll remain friends with the same people for all your life, but everyone tells me whatever I think is ridiculous anyway so somewhere in the back of my mind I was just hoping it could end up like that. But I always knew this day would come. I honest did. Just sucks for me.

 

It does suck. It's very sad.

I don't think it's ridiculous, though.


Ridiculous is this 60 year old neighbor of mine that cried on my car waiting at the school bus stop the other day. Her mother is 89 and likely has liver cancer.

The ridiculous part was that the 60 year old told hubby and me that she'd never considered either of her parents dying. She said she "just thought they'd all go together".

I think that is ridiculous.

 

I'm always considering my folks dying off. I hate to think about it but I think I think about a lot of people dying these days and not my usual rebellious "eat shit and die" mumbo jumbo.

A month ago I turned 28 and said I still don't feel the maturity of aging. This though, well this feels like it's going to force me to grow up quick. These were the one friends I could be my nutty self and say and do what I feel and they'd never think twice about it. I feel like I'm too old to find friends like this again. Im nearing 30... Do 30 year olds need some loopy person in their lives? I just don't know. I feel like now to find new friends in an essence is to step back away from who I actually am. And that worries me a little bit.

 

I think everyone needs a couple of people they can be totally loopy with.

 

I don't have a couple of people I can be totally "anything" with....

 

Everyone except for hermits.

 

I know I'm quite suited to be by myself and be alone without many friends. I've always said I'm my own best friend. Oh well, I just don't want to think about it much at the moment really.

I was invited to a pool comp a bit across town today so I'll go and attend that and meet some new people. Just everyone I'm meeting at the moment aren't those types of awesome friendship material. They're just pub mates really.

 

Actually, I don't have friends anymore.

I have family and I have acquaintances.

I love my daughters friends. They are the ones I can be totally loopy with and they cheer for more.

 

I won't have any children though and it'll feel like an eternity for my nieces to grow up. I'll be a 40 year old women before then. =[

My dog and my rabbit. My fish and stuffed animals. -sigh- what a loser I'm turning out to be. =\

Soon I'll be searching for friendship online. Not that I think that's a bad way to do it. Seems to work for a lot who try and don't have huge standards.

 

Yeah...

Let's write your ad for the personals...