The air is cut with cyanide

Im tired of living a lie. I could be happy but at what expense? Everyone is fake, everyone goes along with the morals of society, no one has a vioce of their own. I feel like I've become one of those people, I've lost myself and don't know how or when. The few people I thought I'd always have I lost and it's more than I can handle. I've always been the strong one, been the one to hold my ground when it's shakey, been the one to lend a helping hand anytime it was needed. I wakeup in the morning putting it on, hopeing today will be different, but I know it won't be. Then, when I finally need someone, just somone, Im left standing all alone. Right infront of my eyes my world is falling apart. My own strength is crumbling to the ground and Im in the darkest of despair, everything turns black, completely pointless. School, Friendships, Life. None of these things seem real to me anymore. They're all for somone else. Someones Im not. Somone I don't want to be anymore. Everything I've been through in my life has taught me to never give up, to be a stronger person through the hardest times. If you want something only you can make it yours, so fight for it. Fight for the life you wish to lead. When you're tired of fighting, when it's so much easier to to give up, think of what it could be. I've lost myself and the only way to find me is to get back into the battle. Fight to make things right. Fight to make yourself better. Fight to be the change you wish to see in the world.

 

I love you. I don’t really know why. At all. I just want you to be open with me and honest. I just want to be able to put complete faith in you. But I don’t feel that sometimes. I’m getting tired of being so strong b y myself, you know. And I don’t know what it really is, but with you things seems to happen in the strangest ways, at the strangest times. And I realize that maybe self-happiness doesn’t come from doing things for yourself at all. You have to choose what you are going to do for someone else. Admiration and love run along the same lines. And maybe people don’t want to be loved at all, but they want to be safe. They want to feel safe knowing that no matter what happens, this person will not leave. Someone who devotes their life to someone else’s happiness. They want a human being who can hold their entire weight, and never falter. Someone who will be around, no matter how tough life gets. Someone who knows that everyone is going to leave in the end, and love is not perfect no matter what. Maybe when I die, no one will be around to watch me. I don’t know. When you start doing things for someone else, life is more rewarding. You can choose what your life will be. I just wish I could hold someone’s life in my care, and support it. It’s so beautiful outside. I don’t know what it is that caused me to stumble across this moment. I can recall some interesting and now seeming lucky situations today that got me to where I am right now. All I know is that if I’m going to be happy, someone else is going to have to hear about it.
Don’t judge me. I don’t have much to offer beside it.

 

I jog through the snow
The picketed snowy path
A bridge to heaven

I am on my own
Surrounded by mother earth
In my own Aspen

Some flakes fall sideways
Some float gently in spirals
Brethren awaiting

No two the same shape
My rhythmical burial
Flakes congregating

 

I lay quietly in bed
My blanket is folded to be a pillow
In my daily jeans and t-shirt
Each time I open my eyes the air dances
I see rings of white
The only lighting a digital clock
I run my fingers through my own hair,
Wishing it was yours
I lay my head in my own hands,
Wishing they were yours
I lay my forehead between my bicep and forearm,
Wishing I was yours

 

Rocking her babies until they rest
An automobile at an intersection
Wavering in the wind
With the steady motion
Of a slow moving fan
Following a single blade
Mother is building a wall
To protect from a stranger’s love
To know where you’ve been
Stand
Lift her wing
And tarnish in the sun

 

It sifts the dirt
Sinks like quicksand
Crumbles from the arteries
Washes with blood
Dissolves the scum
Freezes the organs
Captivates the brain
Stores the oxygen
It is inside ounces of confidence
Measured by operation

 

“Stand up, buddy. I want to see your interpretation of this one,”

he said beneath a heroin glaze;

“I want some of what you have.”


Of course, I oblige.
I do not twinge or stir.

Unscrews his head and forces it back between his collar.

 

of your most recent stuff, "turning" is my favorite. i like the way the images connect in this one. i like that you've been focusing more on imagery and keeping the poem tighter, but i think that you can loosen up if you want! let your poems breath a little! like in "its not what you do" all the lines are good lines, but dont really connect...i like "2178" too, its a nice snapshot, but it too could be expaned i think

 

mm its been awhile.. writers block and a hectic schedule dont mix well
thanks for your comment sky, i may expand 2178 sometime soon.. not sure where to go with it yet..
heres a recent piece i wrote though..

 

Mother wrought my infancy, ruled by abnormality
You can't remember either
Spreading curiosity with standard animosity and my irregularity,
Ruled by mother.
Feeling weak and I speak to myself
Swept off of my feet, I cannot see
Born of machine.
Mother wrought my infancy, I rule my abnormality, forgetting the little things.
Substandard animosity, held next to you by gravity
Thank you mother.
A different level where most men lean backward, holding onto all the words they've ever heard, balancing distributing all I learn.
I'm skewed to all the things I cannot see yet still yearn
Impossibility is my awakening
Thank my mother.
I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservations, or purpose of evasion.
I will bear true faith and allegiance.
I hold with certainty and sincerely confess,
that faith is a blind sentiment of religion,
welling up from the depths of the subconscious,
and under the impulse of the heart.

 

The high of sleep is strong
Early to rise make’s a man wise
As I wipe the sand from my eyes
I pray today I will do no wrong

The hardest part of the day is done
Though later may be tough
At the table we don’t speak much
We’re all too tired from waking up

 

Are you aware of the air?
And the waves that it carries?
Are you aware that we’re dying?
Isn’t it scary?
A little more time
Drinking the air
A little less time
Are you aware?

Are you afraid of the sky?
And the frame of flying?
Are you afraid of your mind?
Are you aware that we’re dying?
A little more time
To make it okay
It will be alright
Are you afraid?

Are you amazed by the earth?
And the shape it keeps?
Are you ashamed of your father?
Why do you weep?
A little more time
Watching your face
A little less life
Are you ashamed?

Relax
Are you aware?
In fact
Are you afraid?
You only have yourself to blame

 

Some love poem or something

You glisten in my eyes as darkness falls.
You shimmer in the grace of dawn's first light.
You burn a searing mark deep in my heart.
If only to be mine,
If only by the night.

I listen to the wind to hear you breathe.
I simmer in the flame of your remains.
You freeze an icy breeze across my cheek.
If only to appear,
If only for one day.

You wander through the warmth as I explore.
You travel from afar by shining stars.
I reach to clasp your wrist but still fall short.
If only to be yours,
If only we should part.

I know I'd close my eyes to let you see.
These promises are mine but yours to keep.
If love is measured by distance and trials,
I'd trek a million miles to see you smile.

Flecks you can't see have nestled in my mind.
Your whisper brushes echoes lost in time.

Your love is but a light,
If only by the night.

 

Hi Hawk, I read through all your posts. Your early stuff on here, like Forest Fire, had some awesome visuals weaved in. Your instincts seem to be good. I've done many poems similar to a couple of these, like the one you posted today... the love poem or something. I miss the images of your earlier stuff.... For example... what if "you burn a searing mark deep in my heart with your tiger claws"... perhaps you can pick a wild animal and introduce images throughout here to bring that animal into your poem... or a bank robber, or a grave digger... otherwise, it sounds like conversation/talking. Please keep working, you do have good instincts like I mentioned earlier.... peace.

 

thanks man good advice

 

I merely vanish and am found again

Abandoned on a frosty piece of ground
Paint is peeling from the ceiling of this old house
We are kings here on the outskirts of town
She stole my city, she swayed the order, served counsel to the crown

Whether fate or faith she wields stars malign
What a freezing feeling crawls across my skin
She weaves a shiver,
She heads down my spine.

 

There is flux in phoenix grandeur
Fearful of tarnishing in the sun,
I ruffled my feathers; they fumed,
And nestled in my plumage,
I endure.

Deep inside her belly
I smolder and ventilate -
Enveloped in magma; flowing
Asphyxiated on my constraints,
I rise from a pressure cooker.

Flames lick and scorch the lip
Exposed before her radiant eye,
I tremble and ignite; engulfed
And as the spectrum intensifies,
I combust.

She cries with me.
I fester and spark;
Wings expand to fan the fire
In charred remnants past
I arise from the ash.