The Advantages Of Senility

An introspection.

This is for all you youngsters out there who have heard rumors and innuendos about senility and how it effects us older folks.
Must be terrible, you think, glad I'll never get that way as I'm far to groovy.

This is my tale.

The other day I thought I'd fire up my ceramics kiln as I had accumulated a number of clay objects that needed fired. Every now and then I get a creative twinge and play around with a blob of clay, fire it, put some glaze on it, and throw it in the corner with the rest of the useless stuff I seem to produce.

Now my kiln is an older model so it has no fancy timer or e-lect-tron-ic control devices. What I do is load it up, prop up the lid, turn on the fan, and set the bottom element to low.
Then I have to come back in two hours and set the upper element to low. Two more hours, set the bottom to medium...and so on.
This goes on for about ten hours as you have to fire this stuff slowly or it'll crack.

So this particular time I ran around for hours turning knobs, putting on my welding gloves to pull the prop out of the lid, and making sure the garage wasn't catching on fire.
About the sixth hour I noticed the kiln didn't seem to be as hot as usual, so I carefully, very gently touched the lid to judge the temperature.
That's when it dawned on me that I never pressed the button to turn it on.

This is known as senility.

Not being an idiot, only senile, I didn't tell my wife until the next morning when we got in the car to go somewhere, I forget where, and she asked me how the ceramic thinga-ma-bobs turned out. That's when I admitted that I had forgot to turn it on and had run around for six hours turning knobs to no avail.

Of course, she laughed at me and called me all sorts of idiotic names, "I'm worried about you, you're losing it." And stuff like that. And I had to eat humble pie and agree that I'm getting to be a dunce.

Then we pulled into the parking lot and she went to take off her seat belt...she looked at me and said, "I never put my seat belt on," which she always does.

This is known as senility.

In the end we agreed that we're both loosing it and having a lot of fun in the process.
I mean, I could give you many other fun examples that have recently happened; but I can't remember them at the moment.

I'm looking forward to the day when I don't recognize my wife anymore, because then I get to go to bed with a different woman every night. This has been a dream of mine since I was 16, or maybe 18, and I'm finally getting to the point where I may be able to pull it off.

Senility does have its perks.

 

Oops.