that place where space means hollow

i'm down in the city
driving by the river
almost hit a coyote
square between my headlights
he was just standing by the bridge
looking left and looking right
thinking the same thing i am
where to go tonight

and i am completely surrounded
by half the population that couldn't care less
and i'm wondering
yes i'm wondering
is there an end to this
this vibrant urban emptiness

i wish i could swallow
that place where space means hollow

i was driven out to the country
and dropped off by a field of corn
standing there with my suitcase
i went back before the morning i was born
white woman came and told me
some black guy wanted to date her daughter
some ****** put the moves on you she said
and you couldn't hate him?
you ought to

and i'm completely surrounded
by an entire kind of people
who just don't care to see things clear
which is weird
cuz the only place i can see the stars is out here
and i look straight up and see nothing at all
half expecting to float away
half expecting to fall

i'm out in the country
standing beneath the sky
man drives down the road
and offers me a ride
half expecting to float away
half expecting to fly
well i don't know if acceptance is wrong
but so far i've got one thing right
doesn't matter what i choose to do
i'm going nowhere tonight

 

You got tone like James Earl. The poem was good but where's the Punctuation. I used to think that punctuation was the death of a poem, putting chains on the bird. But when giving my poetry to people to read, I found that they didn't put emphases where I felt.

 

Excellent. Inspired. Vivid and structured. Not forced. You are one of those folks that makes it look easy.

So, I have to ask - do YOU listen to Ani Difranco? If you don't - I think you should. You sound something like her. I thought of this particular song as I read your poem. (Easily downloaded if you want to hear it).


Untouchable Face

think i'm going for a walk now
i feel a little unsteady
i don't want nobody to follow me
'cept maybe you

i could make you happy, you know
if you weren't already
i could do a lot of things
and i do

tell you the truth i prefer the worst of you
too bad you had to have a better half
she's not really my type
but i think you two are forever
and i hate to say it but you're perfect together

so fuck you
and your untouchable face
fuck you
for existing in the first place
and who am i
that i should be vying for your touch
who am i
bet you can't even tell me that much

2:30 in the morning
gas tank will be empty soon
neon sign on the horizon
rubbing elbows with the moon
safe haven of the sleepless
where the deep fryer's always on
radio is counting down the top 20 country songs

out on the porch the fly strip is
waving like a flag in the wind
you know i really don't look forward
to ever seeing you again soon.

you'll look just like a photograph of yourself
taken from far far away
and i won't know what to do
and i won't know what to say

except fuck you...
and your untouchable face
fuck you
for existing in the first place
and who am i
that i should be vying for your touch
who am i
bet you can't even tell me that much

i see you and i'm so perplexed
what was i thinking
what will i think of next
where can i hide
in the back room there's a lamp
that hangs over the pool table
and when the fan is on it swings
gently side to side
there's a changing constellation
of balls as we are playing
i see orion and say nothing
the only thing i can think of saying

is fuck you...

 

I think it was a bit long, but I love it anyway. I love vbrant urban emptiness, well I don't love it at all, but I like your expression of it!