Have you ever just wanted to find someone to love so compassionately that you would do anything to make them happy? I don't actually know what it feels like yet, but I've read stories with that type of love in books, and I see it sometimes when I see couples together. I never want to be in a relationship with someone that I won't last with and end up telling them that I love them. I don't know, I'm weird. lol sorry.
I have, three times... My daughters I think that type of relationship is rare between couples, and even harder to maintain. Sadly you never know if you are going to last with someone forever, best you can do is take one day at a time and make the commitment. If you set your sights on that fairytale romance, I fear you are setting yourself up for disappointment.
For me, it's really hard to explain....... Yet, it's so simple. In the past, I felt like I would bend over backward to make someone(who I was romantically attracted to, or who I was actually in a relationship with) happy and everything would always fall apart. But in those situations, I was never fully in control of my own SELF to begin with. Something was always DRIVING me into doing things that were otherwise out of my character. I wasn't really being myself, and because I wasn't being myself, I wasn't loving the other party in a way that I was comfortable with. Well, until now. My current relationship truly has made me realize what it would be like to find your soulmate. For the lack of a better word, this relationship is devoid of any negative emotional strain: no "she's emotionally unstable", no "she's erotophobic", no "she and I fight too often", no "she's overly critical", no nothing. Instead, we are blessed with an outstanding ability to communicate as a couple, and we are blessed with an extremely high compatibility in terms of our personality, sexuality, and the way we perceive life. See, we don't bend over backward to make each other happy. Somehow, we're making each other happy without really "trying" in a really straining sense. And the reason why I'm replying to your post, Paige, is because my girlfriend and I enthusiastically talk about how awesome our relationship is all the time, and how we connect so well, how this is unlike anything we've ever felt before, how we are each other's soulmates, or at least we might be, that sort of thing. I think we are a "mushy gushy" couple without necessarily dwelling on the "I'll do anything for you" type mindset.
For me, I don't feel like I'm really capable of those sort of super squishy feelings right now. There's a certain thing I want, just an unrestrained love, if that makes sense. A kind of thing where you can just love someone exactly as much as you do and the way you do and not be afraid that you are not meeting an expectation or that it won't be well received. Just a kind of natural accepted thing. I want to express my kindness and tenderness wholly.
Weird, not really...a lot of people feel that way. Is it creating an unrealistic expectation of love that you be unlikely to find, yes. You cannot know if a relationship will end, no matter how strong it starts out as. It's a chance everyone takes when they get involved with someone. People change over time, and ideally you want to find someone who will grow and change with you....unfortunately it doesn't always work out that way. All anyone can really do is find someone who they feel good about being with, and work to keep that relationship strong and healthy. A strong foundation is vital to a strong relationship. A strong foundation is built over time, and with lots of communication and compromise. Even with a strong foundation a relationship can fail....it just doesn't tend to fall apart over the little things. What you read in books is fantasy, an interpretation of love, etc...and generally unreaslistic. Romance novels are a billion dollar industry for a reason....and it isn't because they are factual. There are books about every topic under the sun, like time travel, etc...do you believe in those? As for seeing people in love, well...you are only seeing a facet of their relationship. I have friends who in public look like they have the perfect relationship...but at home, it is a whole different story. Love is a simple concept made complicated because of individuality.
I personally feel that love is a basic emotion made complicated by society rather than individuality. I don't believe that love is a "concept". I believe that love is a primal thing. Because of that, I also believe that, sometimes, magic happens and fantasies and dreams become reality. Then you realize that the kind of love you see in Disney romantic comedy movies can, and DOES, exist. But for one to experience this kind of "fairytale-like" love, one must think less and feel more in my opinion. And THAT, I personally find, is the problem with today's society; people seem to just THINK about love too much and try to determine what it's about and all that stuff, but they don't FEEL it as much as they should because society plants the fear of love into its people. The way I see it, society makes people nervous when it comes to the whole perception of love, because society says love is such a difficult thing to understand. But it's not. If you THINK it, chances are you won't be one with it. But if you FEEL it, you may realize that it's really more about you being your primal self than anything else. If you feel it, it's easier to understand. But if you do, you might not be able to put into words what it feels like even though you now understand it better. And that's okay because it is meant to be felt, not described/theorized. Love knows no rules, and sometimes that means seemingly impossible might occur. I believe that's good though, because if love can't defy the societal standards, then we're living in the world of THX 1138 as far as I'm concerned.
