Since today is Valentines Day I'm taking applications for the worst boyfriend/girlfriend. Any suggestions?
I had a thing with this girl once. It was nice for the first six months. I lived in Baltimore and she lived in Binghamton, NY, 4 hours away. We saw each other on weekends and holidays. When she was 6 a rottweiller attacked her, grabbed her by the head and pulled 80% of her scalp off. Took like 100 stitches and three surgeries to fix it. Then one day she shows up at my door. With her two kids. And a uhaul filled with everything she owned. Uninvited. After about 6 weeks of putting up with her nesting shit and cleaning up after her kids she wasn't getting the message. So I did the smart thing. I went to the shelter and adopted a large male rottweiller. The next day she and her kids and their stuff was gone. I loved that dog until the day he died 5 years later. What did I win?
well zoomie wins the past bad boyfriend award, but he didn't technically apply for this position... as far as what i can bring to the relationship, i'll sleep with your mom and finger your dog. i'm also big into doing lots of hard drugs with my girlfriend's money, and punching her if she doesn't have any.
