Hi all, I've been in a serious relationship for about 4 years now, but lately the same argument keeps popping up- swinging. We're very open and truthful with the way we feel about each other, he says he's bored of me sexually and wants us to swing, we've toyed with the idea a few times and gone on a few sites but have never followed through with anything. The idea of us doing that upsets me, sometimes I think I would be able to do it then I just snap back to the reality that I'm sure I couldn't handle it, to see him with another woman just really upsets me so much. We are serious about our future together but he tells me if we continue down this path that eventually he will have to walk away. I don't want us to lose our special bond, but I'm just so confused. Has anyone been in this predicament before? Was the outcome good or bad? Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks
My advice is to play separately for starters. Having casual sex does not have to be shock therapy or a confession booth.
Swinging is a bad idea- been there. You end up breaking up anyway and then feel like you only attempted swinging to save your relationship. Not worth it! Just break up. You're only 26!? Do you really want to spend the rest of you life with someone ALREADY bored with you?He sounds very selfish to me. It is a common option people think will help, but it's a waist of time, especially under these circumstances.
Swinging is something you do when you have an amazing, wonderful relationship...and both of you want to share something new and exciting together....not something you do to fix a collapsing relationship...don't do it.
If you are in a strong, secure and happy relationship with good communication, mutual respect and already have an amazing sex life then swinging can be just one more fun thing you can experience together! It does not sound like that is what you have and it would be a terrible idea to go down this path to try and fix something. Do not let yourself be pressured to do anything you are not 100% interested in and comfortable with. On a side note if someone told me they were bored with our sex life I would tell them to go back to fucking themselves then.
you won't save your relationship if you let him fuck someone else because he is bored of you... that's really selfish of him. my advice (like everyone else's until now) is don't do it, you will only end up hurt.
I've said a lot about this topic in another thread, so I won't repeat it all here, but I will repeat that I've never heard of partner swapping turning out well for a couple that did not have an extremely strong and secure relationship. If I were you, I'd have nothing to do with this.
I just reopened or logged into my existing swinging profile for the first time in over a year. All the regulars were still there. When you get away from the fact it's full of 97% males trying to score, you find those odd 3% are a close knit community like here. Anyhoo they liked me back. Said I was the only genuine gay girl willing to meet anyone. aaaaaaand already turning down messages from single males. =\
I'm surprised they allow single males. Many around here aren't too keen on it. Single females are totally fine though. Here it works better for a single guy to find a single female friend and go in as a couple.
I have had a threesome with two women. Before I did this it was a huge dream like most men, but the best part was how much my girlfriend loved the attention. After the girl would leave we would have awesome sex.We broke up after a couple years. ? ?I'm older now and dying to have sex with a couple, women love the attention. I have had a couple couple's ask me but the timing never worked out,
I know what you mean. It upset me when we first started and I was as nervous as could be. Once we started, I simply accepted what was happening and relaxed. Now we both enjoy the lifestyle very much.
Same here Rebecca, As you know, the lifestyle is exploding in popularity for all ages. We are a sexy senior couple and love our lifestyle friends. They don’t take the place of our already great sex life together. They just enhance it. Our relationship is not shared with others. Just the sex.
I’ll differ from most others here and say you should try it. When we did it we were in a great secure place in our relationship (unlike what it appears you two are in) and it brought us closer. The reason I say you should do it is because he will go have other women either way. He’ bored. He’s asked you to swing. He wants to include you and hopefully see you receive pleasure as well. It may well be a fun activity for the two of you to share. It may bring you closer as well. He’s not likely looking to replace you at all. He’s a healthy male who wants to have sex with women. He’s not looking for love. He’s looking for extra fun and he’d like to share that fun with you. In terms of risk/reward, I think there is little risk in you two swinging with another couple and the potential rewards, aside from the excitement/enjoyment can be quite good for your relationship.
If you are not comfortable with the idea and he is determined to get into Swinging - WALK AWAY NOW. You will find someone who is better suited for your needs and he will do the same. This Lifestyle works well for us, but it’s not for everyone. Don’t change your values or anything else for anyone, be true to yourself.
