Suspended Animation (Written 2-16-14)

Did I swim against the current or did it break me against the shore?
Why did I forget to cry out to others and remember to sing inside myself?
Blackened by the night and blinded by the day
Drowning in a sea of sound or suffocating in a breath of silence
I stagger on my feet until I fall upon my knees
Hanging from the highest star or falling through the deepest abyss
Loving the beast and hating beauty
Under her thumb or over his head
Guilty of everyone's innocence
Fearing my own faith
Creator of destruction or a destroyed creation
Seeking out truth by looking in lies
Hungry for life or full of death
A thousand beginnings that never end
Death is a dream when life is a nightmare
So good at being evil and too wrong to ever be right
Friendships betrayed and enemies trusted
Frozen in heartache or burning with hate
Tightly wound in discipline or running loose with insanity
Tears of joy and bittersweet sorrow
Blurred boundaries and solid spaces
Mechanical knowledge of human ignorance
Perpetual emotion in startling stillness
Chain me to the Earth or sweep me to the sky
Either way, find any way that leads to one way
Begging to leave but indebted to remain
With a soul shrouded in mystery and a body naked to the world
Running around in this tireless wheel
Fallen too far behind to rise on ahead