survivors of suicide

You just didn't try hard enough.

 

When i was like 10 i had thought about suicide like a couple times but then I had realized that the depression was just a state of mind that you can fall into. I realized that Life could be the ultimate paradise if thats what you make it. Why waste all the paradise we probably get?? So i am never depressed at all now because i push my mind to be happy. Its really easy for me but it is probably harder for other people. Weed will help usually.

 

I used drugs and avoidance of reality to commit a form of slow suicide, and coming back now is very challenging.

 

i didnt read all of the post in this thread, i didnt even read anything past the 2nd post. but i think my story would sound similar to some1's story who replied to this thread.

I myself, have tried to kill myself more than once. i'm a real bad cutter, and i've been hospitalized alot because of my bad habbit. i use to think of suicide as a good thing, i actually thought that it was the best thing i could do for the people who know me. i'm a mistake. i only bring hate, and anger into people's lives. so i took some pills. i dont know what happened after that, but... i do remember waking up, in a hospital.
talked to a few psychiatrist, and went home a couple of days later.
I've also met some other people in the same situation. and after talking to them about wanting to commit suicide. and looking at things from another point of view. i kinda learned something, about them, and about me.
i still think about suicide often, but i dont act upon those thoughts because everytime i think of suicide. i think of something that some one told me.
"In the end, everything will be ok. if its not ok, then its not the end."
and that quote has inspired me to continue living. it reminds me that yeah.. i have problems, but who doesnt.
so... yeah...
there's more to the story, but i dont feel like typing anymore.

 

My uncle Tom committed suicide just this past Wednesday. He took out a mortgage on his already paid for house, to help attend to some of the immediate needs of the children that were living next door to him.

The woman who was living next door to him had severe drug problems, and we believe my uncle Tom paid to have the oldest son get into college.

I'm still in shock about this - and it's devastating. I will post more in depth after the funeral service on Tuesday.

Thanks everyone for sharing.

*hugs*

 

I attempted suicide about 5 years ago almost did it, 4 days in coma, I took a very strong poison, the doctor said that ironicly the big dose I had saved me..supposely taking such a large amount made my body react violently to get rid of the poison, so, while I was laying on the floor I puked all the poison yet the poison was working and during those 5 hours locked in my bathroom I almost thought I was going to get away with it, but my mom came early from work and nocked down my door, cuz she knew the was somthing wrong, from that day I never think about suicide .. what is scaring me now is that those suicide thoughts are comming back so, Im taking therapy now again..I don't want make my family go through that again.
peace everyone

 

Ive been considered suicidal for awhile now.
Its kind off pissing me off.
My Gf is also "Suicidal".
She once was in her bathroom with a pill bottle, emptied into her hand.
Her mom comes in.
Says if you want to die so fucking much why dont you let me help?!
Mom takes the pills and shoves them down her throat.
My gf throws up.

Heres one with me.
My mom finds blood everywhere and finds me in the bathroom with a razor.
She starts crying and yelling at me.
I cant remeber what she was saying.
Next day she calls me in, hands me a knife and says, " Do it a little deeper next time"


lulz moms can be crazy bitches sometimes.

 

I have thought of suicide servaral times in the last few years but something in me just wont let me do it, and I'm not upset about it either because over all i don't want to die.

but every day is so hard, some days i don't know how i get though them.

 

I just feel like saying how glad I am that this is a sticky thread that is here for me to re-read in case I should ever become suicidal. For the most part I am pretty stable, and do hold out hope that I will never again reach that level of hopelessness, but then again, life can really do a number on me sometimes and re-reading this thread would be a good way to start talking myself out of a really bad decision. So to all who have posted in this thread, thanx. This thread may save my life sometime, you never know.

 

Oddly enough I miss it too sometimes.

 

ive attempted it 3 times, but that was 3 years ago when i was only in year nine. now i feel so much worse but i cant really figure out why. the only thing really stopping me from attempting again is lsd (which i know isnt very healthy, i dont do it that oftenn), this band im in that isnt really going anywhere, and these handy little things called "life-eaze."

what a shitty place to be when i havent even turned 17.

 

When I was younger and more selfish in my life. My fiance had left me and long story short, made my life very complicated. After a couple of weeks of skipping classes and taking a leave of absence from work to try to get my shit together, I had a particularly bad day where a friend of mine was killed in a car accident.

After I received the news of the accident, I immediately went to a bar, and drank myself blind. As I was walking home I strolled over to a friends house (who was a pill junky at the time, may she rest in peace) and scored a relatively large amount of various opiates. I went home and basically just swallowed as many as i could choke down in a gulp.. which really in retrospect was much larger that I thought I could actually swallow.

About 27 hours later I woke up in my bathtub. Ice cold water with my roommate (and best friend) dumping buckets of water over my head, slapping and shaking me yelling at me trying to wake me up. Once I was finished with the lovely purge of bodily fluids he drove me to a hospital where I was taken care of and sent to a psychologist.

A year and a half of therapy, and NO MEDICATION (take that pharm companies!) later I was pretty much back to normal. My psychologist was one of the greatest people I've ever met in my life and I still stay in touch with her to this day.

Life is a lot different after you try to deny it from yourself.

Since those days.. I've had a rough life still, but I've learned to deal with my emotions and changed my perspective on my life. Not to say that I don't get the blues now and then, but I handle it much better.

I could write about this topic for ages, but I wanted to share my story. I'd be glad to talk to anyone about this topic if anyone needs a friend.

Love + Respect

 

thats a nice story
im freaked out to go see any psychs because then my paretns will do the whole not letting me out of their sight thing which i cant handle haha,

 

yes, 3 times

i tried to hang myself
i tried to put my self under a train
in the london underground
drug overdose in which i died twice

then i went into a outpatient programe
for a year, i have mentioned it before
5hours a day, 5 days a week

i believe that you have to take responsibility
for your madness
doesn't matter whose fault it is or why
don't play the blame game

if your mentally ill either with personality
disorders(emotional) or orgainic such as bipolar etc

i still am diseased, but i have better ways
of looking after myself

yes, i still get sick, last time was two years
ago put in hospital under a court order
horrible

so taking responsibilty i take meds
see a psych occasionally for a catch up

yes i take drugs of all descriptions
just not as often i don't drink
i smoke weed often

^everybody is aware of my habits
and don't have a problem because
they don't trigger my mental health
although i have other stressors that do

lucky for me cause i would miss weed

got any questions
don't hesitate to ask

 

just wanted to add there is a diference

btw wanting to kill yourself and self harm

swallowing a couple of bottles of pills/cutting yourself
in a way that won't kill you and
ending up in casualty because you wanted
the pain to stop

very valid reasons, but not considered suicide
by professionals

 

i wanted to add the stigma of mental illness

and suicide is still huge in society and in hospitals
people who are depressed get told 'to pull
up their socks"
i have often been teased by friends of friends
most of my closest family have no idea because they
believe mental illness is an excuse not to get on with life
you would be very lucky to get a job if you told the truth

i also wanted to add that i hated group therapy
i never talked about myself which drove both staff
and others to distraction
i was often traumatised by others stories
Instead i listened and learned
i still have crappy times and none of my so
called skills work or i don' want to use them

sometimes you have to work out
by trial and error what suits you

i think i will stop now lol

 

You're a fucking idiot.

 

FIrst of all, how can one survive suicide? Suicide is self termination. But I can understand where you are coming from.

It bares me no comfort to read up on Newspapers and on the BBC News that the place I was born has become Suicide Town It has to be one of the greatest mysteries. 19 people dead. No Suicide Pact, yet coincidentally they all commited suicide. Is Bridgend really a crap Town?

Anyway, I have tried to commit suicide atleast five times in my life. I was unsuccessful. When I was in Prison, I tried to slit my wrists. But because of the pain, I couldn't do it. Had I taken painkillers beforehand, I would not be here to tell you. I am 26 and already unemployable. What reason do I have to live anymore? People tell me that I am employable and that I stand a chance like everyone else. They just telling me that to make me feel better. I don't like being patronised. I am just a poor kid who has come from many years of unrelenting abuse and erraticness. My whole past was in a state of flux. My experience in care was nothing short of a nightmare. Yet here I am, alive today. Coping, but struggling to see reason to my existence. I pray to God, I try to get in contact with the Divine. But I don't feel much better.

 

I was found in bed by my husband ... he was angry at first then real real scared then angry again and now very understanding. I was made to stay awake and talking-the handful of pills I took was making me sleepy. I cried ...it seemed forever... and finally was angry with him for waking me up. I am still breathing and now have switched meds entirely. I see a doctor monthly instead of every 3 months. My husband comes with me too. I know everyone will be better when I am gone but for now I am trying not to be so down on myself. It sucks to be so sad so often.

 

I had a friend that I knew back in high school when I was a sophmore, he was a year older than I. He committed suicide for a childish reason. He was a star football player and was going to open a car modification shop to pass time with his dad. One night he was driving and smoking weed and got pulled over by the cops and got a ticket only. He was too scared to tell his parents so he decided to end his life. I didn't see him that day or weekend. He didn't tell anyone of the ticket. When I went to school on monday I got the news from his sister that he took his life. I missed him so bad. He could of called me or even told his parents, but he was too ashamed to.
I just couldn't believe the way he handled the situation. I blame mass media and schools teaching kids that weed is as bad as cocaine or heroin. It's just a shame.