a woman wals into a doctors office and sits down while shaking all over. the receptionist asks "what's wrong hon?" the other woman responds "m m my vibrator is s s stuck."
An Aussie stockman had just got married and he and his wife stopped at an outback hotel on their wedding night. The man approached the front desk and asked for a room. He said, 'We're on our honeymoon and we need a nice room, with a good strong bed." The clerk winked, 'Do you want the 'Bridal'?' The drover reflected on this for a moment and then replied, "Nah, I reckon not. I'll just hold onto her ears until she gets used to it"
The Sheer Nightgown.... A husband walks into Victoria's Secrets Shop to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from £200 to £600 in price -- the sheerer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the sheerest item, pays the £600, and takes it home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it Upstairs the wife thinks ( she's no dummy), 'I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modelling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the £600 refund for myself.' She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose. Husband says, 'Good Grief! You'd think for £600, they'd at least iron it!'
I was in bed with a woman and she said, "I want tonight to be magical". And it was. After we had sex, I disappeared.
