I actually did that twice, pulled the trigger to early, still got the hole in my ceiling and had to patch the roof, missed my face by about an inch. My diet is not the best, could be better and I will will work on your suggestion of reducing carbs and alcohol.
I've been there Burnt...suicidal, that is. My thinking on using a firearm was same as reb's. However, that being said, at least telling this could be the 1st step out of the pit. Just know that you need to hang around and do whatever it is you are supposed to do... Working physically in my yard was what truly brought me back, gave me back my sanity...or what passes for it. I pray and am a believer...and I do NOT think (like many a so-called christian) that suicide "automatically sentences one to hell". It is also a great misconception that believing in God STOPS one from being depressed..I surely had (a lot of) suicidal thoughts at one time of my life. I guess I'm just saying that sometimes we feel so bad, so low, that asking the Higher Power for help - and then listening or feeling...will help. It might just help for that one day...but then (hopefully) we just live one day at a time. Let us know how you are doing. (and get some dirt under your nails )
Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDDcLeXIxRA"]YouTube - Comes a Time, 5/9/77 - Grateful Dead‏ Good luck man.
I played with the thought a little 5 years ago, but decided against it. I did however develop a Don't give a fuck attitude towards life. I won't kill myself however if I OD or something.. meh. I've since changed however. Time more or less healed my emotional wounds.
I only speak for myself but the night i took two bottle of pills it was selfish of me.I did not think about what it would do to my family and friends,the money and time i would take from them all by doing it. My 1 month stay at the mental hospital changed my out look on my life.The day i got out is the first day mary jane came into my life and she made a bad day wonderful...But like i said i can only speak for myself It is a very very selfish act to take you own life.
I have mixed results with weed, sometimes life is good and others make me want to crawl in a hole and die. This could be I am getting different strains allowing different reactions. I also do agree suicide is a very selfish act, it is just at that moment death seems to have so much logic, even though that is not true.
Well i am glad you did not and that you seen what was going on and wanted help with it.All dr.'s are not evil there are still a few good ones.Get help if you feel like you really want to do it.Lol i am here till the end and i plan on enjoying every moment good or bad it is all life and sometimes it is alot to take in at once.
I know that feeling bro. I have no friends, no money and I had lost my job. I got turned down by a girl I really liked when she found out my situation. I didnt care about life anymore. It still goes through my head. I found a shitty job but at least Im working. There might only be 30 minutes of a day where Im happy but thats better than being dead.
I don't think that when you are feeling suicidal you can just turn off the thoughts. I do know you are and have been trying to deal with how you feel. It sounds so condescending to state that it takes time to solve and resolve issues, but it does. I also know that the cost of private help is very prohibitive for many. Are there no support groups in your area or within a distance you can travel to? Sometimes not feeling like you are all alone dealing with life can help. While I do think that calling the help lines is a good thing I also think that face to face support is something that could be helpful for you. If there is not such a group, perhaps you could start one. I am sure you are not the only person in your vicinity dealing with this and others may be in the same situation as you and someone taking that initiative might help all of you. Take care of you and do your best to remember that you do matter.
Burnt, i have an ongoing disagreement with a friend. my friend is schizophrenic (doc diagnosis). he claims that the psycho active medications he is on 'regulated his chemistry so that it is nearer normal'. and, of course, me being an argumentative, opinionated asshole, i said for him to show me the chart that covered all human body chemistry, and where the boundaries for each chemical (pituitary hormone, adrenaline, testosterone, whatever...all that scientific mumbo jumbo soup that makes up our brain chemicals) were. then tell me what each chemical amount had to be in relation to the other amounts so as to make us function 'normally'. his eyes glazed over....and i think i made him mad. but, i wanted to know (just like other beliefs) what factual data was he basing his conclusion on? he had experiental data (and i can accept that) but i can't accept a sweeping conclusion based on 'these drugs do this all the time'. the point i was making with him (and am trying to lead you to consider) is...we don't KNOW. when i take a multivitamin, i have no damn clue what chemicals in my brain are going to be affected. i THINK i know...but then, if some, like vitamin c, are excess, they are passed out in urine. others do not, and overload the system. so, i have to go on my diet as to 'what makes me feel good emotionally, and what helps me function at a level i can stay out of jail, and get my stuff done'. after a lot of puttering around, i try to live on a modified version of 'the blood type diet', which is somewhat like that atkins thing. hence, i go back to 'what we put in our mouths'....but that is also 'what we breathe, what we touch (in the case of things that can be absorbed). so, what i'm saying or trying to say is...think about everything you do, and what effect that might have when you eat/drink/smoke it. i quit smoking for two weeks; felt a lot better, but had wall banging depression a couple times. i knew 'why'..but that dint make it go away. it took me a long, long, long time to get my diet and behaviour to the point that i am now (not climbing the walls, then falling in a heap). honestly, it was...mmm...shitty to the 100th power for a number of years. be patient with yourself. many others will not be. fuck 'em. try to be accepting of yourself. again...many others etc...once you get 'you' working like you think is 'good', you can decide what to do about all those others, if they deserve your attention. then again, you might find volunteering some time in a charitable garden is just the thing to make you feel good. it would up your vitamin d, get your mind off your feelings perhaps...or it might be meditation, or a certain book, painting, running...i don't know. you are the only one who will know what works for you. i don't think suicide is the answer if you are not dealing with a terminal disease. it's not my place to even suggest to you what to do...but i'm tossing out my thoughts if you wish to consider them. i don't like to see anything or anyone suffer if they have the will to get out of their deep hole.
I have in my experiences the had the negative and positive experiences with psychoactive drugs. On one side of the drug spectrum, the anti depressives, they made me suicidal and pensive, I just plain hated life. On the other side, mood stabilizers and anti psychotics with some benzos brought my mood to the closest thing I can consider normal, it's been so long normal seems a distant memory. This process took more than a year and a half with some fine tuning of the meds with my testosterone imbalance, but with the occasional mental slip things do seem better.
Burnt, I can't add a whole lot to this that hasn't been said already. You can always find support in here from all. Death isn't the answer, if it was the answer for you then the first time you tried you would have succeded. It wasn't meant to be. If you ever need someone to talk to look me up.
I'm gonna be a bug in my next life and get eaten, or squished. I've known it for years now.. I can feel it in me bones. *shudder* ------------- Edit: pic removed due to it may have been taken the wrong way. /Sorry if it was, Burnt. I saw it the other day and it made me laugh, I was just trying to make you smile. I'm just happy that you are OK!
I've had suicidal thoughts too. What usually stops me is thinking, well today may be bad but who knows a year from now might be amazing. If I get tired of life, I go to sleep... that's what you do when you get tired, sleep. Heck, even go into periods of rest to give your mind time to heal. What thoughts stop you from going through with it? Do you ever think about what's on the other side, and it could be worse than it is here. that there is nothing, and you wasted your whole life over some emotions that are going to go away in time? there's a lot of variables to it to think about that would make you not want to commit. Think about how bad other peoples lifes are. People in sex slavery, third world countries with no water, barely any food in the burning hot sun, think about it, you could have born with no penis, you could have been born retarded. Life could be way worse, be thankful. If you want to be more thankful, just leave your house. leave it for a week or a month, and try to survive with no job, no income, be homeless for a period of time, then you will realize how much you cherish in your life now. Then think about it like this. I'm thankful for what I've got. I always have the oppurtunity to get more in my life. If you have anxiety about rejection, denial, failure, just think "i was about to killmyself, what worse could anyone do to me?" nothing. life is life, i can live it how I want. I would recommend getting some medication, to help you through your healing period. Just get a lot of rest, drink a lot of water, eat right, get a little exercise as much as you can each day, natural things to make you feel better, physically. You have to force yourself to do it, but once you do it makes a world of difference. Add some mood enhancing food to your diet, stuff with tryptophan to produce serotonin in your brain. At night eat a wheat, and turkey sandwhich, with a glass of milk, and a banana. wheat, milk, and turkey all load your brain with tryptophan and thus serotonin, it will help you sleep at night, very good. The b6 will not only lift your mood, but give you good dreams as well. Add fish to your diet, this also helps the production of serotonin. try it. Therapy is good, part of the process. it really helps a lot man!!! good outlet and way to put your thoughts into words so you can understand how to manage them better. If you get on medications, keep in mind these are not the cure, any problems you have will come back to you, they are simply aids to help you through recovery and in the end you will be taken off of them. For example, a man with a phobia of social gatherings, will be prescribed a benzo of some sort for a period of time, while at the same time being exposed to crowds, social interactions exc with his medicine to help him, until he gains the skill his self. just hang in there man, you don't want to kill yourself... if you need anyone to talk to pm me anytime. whether you just wanna shoot the shit, need some advice, or just need to vent. it's all good!!! Peace, Love, and Blessings.
