She and I didn't really have the best relationship. Her own alcohol and pill abuse made everything more difficult on her in every way. It was after several horrible back to back tragedies she had happen to her at a young age that she really started to harm herself and her chemical balance by abusing these things. My stepfather of 9 years passed away Feb 2013 after which she warned us she was going to lose it once he passed (of rectal cancer). Once he did, I tried to encourage her to stand on her own two feet and start getting her life together. But her mental instability gave her a sense of self entitlement and refusing to pay for her own basic living. Our last telephone conversation, she hung up on me and began harassing me via text all hours of the day. Withing a few months, she had threatened to my grandparents that she would kill herself if they didn't pay for her bills. Naturally this made me want to talk to her even less. The last time I spoke to her was in June. Then last Tuesday, April 15, 2014 at around 2pm I got a phone call from the Springfield police stating that her body had been found in the backyard of the housing projects she was staying in. And all evidence and medical records suggest that it was another stroke that did it. Because of the circumstances, it was also all over the news. http://www.smokeybarn.com/womans-body-found-in-springfield-yard/ I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it. I didn't want it to end the way it did, I just wanted my mother to be able to take care of herself, she just didn't seem to care to anymore. It's hit me much harder than I ever expected and the last time we spoke does not help anything. IDK, needed to get that off my chest. I have 2 more days of work and then I am taking off for 2 weeks. I am the oldest so my grandparents made me executor of estate, which I have never done before, along with processing the fact that my mother is gone at 45. My heart is broken.
Hugs Bunnie. I am sorry for your loss. It is always hard to loose a parent even in the best of situations. 45 is so young and if a person has lost the will to survive they won't survive. Things will be tough for you for awhile but as each day goes by just try to remember the good times and don't dwell on the bad times. My heart and prayers go out to you.
Thank you all. I'm honestly still trying to process everything. I'm still trying to remember how unwell she is. But I can't help but mourn her loss even more knowing that she felt she no longer had anything left to live for. Our relationship was negative even though I tried as hard as I could to respect her and not say anything I would regret. I also have a 19 year old sister with babies of her own. I am just trying to understand why she felt that way and couldn't see us as reason to live. While a stroke is natural causes, her stress and constant harboring of negativity toward those around her that would not accept her lifestyle and lack of responsibility caused her blood pressure to go sky high a lot of times, which is essentially what caused it. I just don't know how I'm supposed to deal with it. I'm doing as best as I can and trying to be an emotional support to everyone. I just try to remind myself that she was unwell. And unwilling to acknowledge that. <3 Bunnie
Oh, Bunnie, I'm so sorry to hear this. Those news stories make it all the more difficult. We had those when my brothers body was found. May she rest in peace and may you begin to grow into your own peace now, also. She is free of the things that tormented her and so are you.
I think the thing I hate the most is the fact that my sister saw her. She went up to the hospital immediately (I couldn't as I'm 3 hours away) and saw her before anything was done. She also saw my stepdad as they took his body out of the apartment. This scares me because she is so unstable as it is that I can only imagine the toll those images have taken on her mind. Along with my grandparents feeling so incredibly guilty for not helping her. They got tired of her calling them angry all the time and yelling at them. And now this. My poor grandparents now wish they had made her come back. But in looking at her phone records, she never even tried to call. Her pride was so big it's what brought her so low. My sister and I found a letter she wrote to her in October and never sent. She was incredibly angry in every way at her parents and told them not to expect them to help her. The last line in the letter was "they wouldn't even pay for my funeral." I made sure my sister kept it and away from them. They can never see that letter. It would kill them. They just paid over 25K for my mothers funeral. <3 Bunnie
It's difficult to know what to do. The media is full of stuff pointing you toward "tough love", telling you that will save them. It's difficult to know how to help them. My parents went through this with my brother who was 48 years old when he died. His meth addiction did him in. I know your family tried all the ways imaginable to help her help herself, just as mine did. What I believe, is that a soul chooses its path before it ever comes into this life. It chooses what it needs to learn so that it can put that lesson behind and move on to another lesson in the next life. Sometimes, they get what they came here to learn and sometimes they don't, so they come back and work on that lesson again and again until they get it right. If you hold Christian beliefs, then she's already perfect and dancing with the angels now. Don't be troubled for her. Concern yourself with loving the ones she left behind. Love soothes our pains.
I am sorry for your loss Bunnie. It is hard to lose a parent no matter what the situation. Remember to take care of yourself.
If I coulda said what Aerianne said as well as she did I woulda. I am not so good in this department but that's a great message, hope it helps. Take care and love the ones who need you now.
So sorry to read about your mom. I hope that soon the good memories you have will replace some of the sadness that comes with someone we love passing on.
