stupid stoner moments

I was coming back from a friends house, and was driving through a residential area that was under construction. I hit a dead end, so I decided to take a back alley and try to get around it. I hit another dead end. So I reversed through the entire alley, and decided to head back the way I came...but I couldn't remember exactly HOW I got there...I had an idea, but I wasn't really sure. I hit another dead end. And another.
All in all, I hit about 5 dead ends before I finally found my way out of the damn place. Sad thing is, I could have just parked my car and WALKED home.

 

Ithink my stupidest stoner moment was yesterday.......i did a wake n bake, and i got so fucked up.......so i went to school & i had to do a presentation about the respitory sytem w/ my friend Ashley.........we get up there and Ashley looks at me and goes "God ur so fucken stoned....u druggie....u better not burst out laughing during this or i'll kill u".........i tried so hard to keep a straight face , by the end of it i had a big fat grin on my face......then i went back to my desk & watched my hand move for like an hour.......

 

this is not a free speech location

 

i do that drunk...smoking's natural for me stoned, fortunately

 

Dude, that is the epidome of hilarious.
That is the funniest thing I have heard all month... My mom just came down to check on me because I was having a massive laugh-attack.. and I'm not even stoned!
Props man.

 

One day me and my friend just smoked a huge blunt and were walking to taco bell. I lit up a cig, but there was no wind or anything so teh smoke from the cig kept getting in my face. So I decided to hold the cig over my head so that no smoke got in my face. So here I am, holding a cig way above my head like it was the olympic torch. The sidewalk was right next to a busy street too, so I turned quite a few heads.


EDIT: I just realized that this was one of those things where you really had to be there

 

I got Really blazed one night with some friends outside a highschool basketball game, it was snowing out so they all decide to head back in, but me, being stoned off my ass, decided to walk the 7 miles home. I'm about half way there, its hailing, 2 degrees below zero, and I'm wearing a t-shirt, anyway while walking past this busy road, that just happened to be in a traffic jam at the moment cuz of the snow, I start seeing the shadow of the lightpost, but I didn't know that that it was a shadow, I thought the shadow was a wooden fence, so I start trying to find the fence and jump over it, I keep putting my foot up and my hands out to get on the first board of the fence, but its not there, so I keep falling forward. The people in the traffic jam all started looking over and a few asked me If I needed any help. Eventually I stopped trying to climb it and I decide to jump it, So I back up, I get a running start, Jump over the shadow, fly through the air and fall, slide through the snow getting my damn t-shirt wet, right into some muddy Ice that breaks, and only after I did this did I realize it was a damn shadow.

 

hahahha the one about the sandwhich on the floor is cracking me up.....
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but ne ways a few of mine....​

the second time i went o school high i was so fucking high that i lost my locker....​

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ummma nd a few weekends ago me and my friends smoked a lot and then went to arbys and we were liekw hat shoudl we get and we all figured it out and they told me i soudned like i knew what to say so for em to talk in the drive thru window so i rolled down the window and the asked cna i help u first i was like are you open? and they were like yeah so then i go can i have (bursts out into laughter for 10 seconds and then regain myself) 3 madium cheese fries...(realized they dont serve cheese fries and i meant to say curly)....bursts into laughter again while im speechless and dont even know what to say (ackward silence) and the guy goes...ummm...err...u want medium french fries? and i couldnt even comprehend so im like go go go!! and we drove away.​

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so here's one that happened earlier this morning.
i goto my friends place for a little smokey smokey. afterwards we are sitting outside and he lights up a cig. i notice he is holding it low by his shorts, and as i look closer i notice he is burning a hole in his shorts with the butt of the cig.

 

Dude! I have done that so many times... You gotta see my favourite pair of pants, there are holes all around the crotch... and yet I still wear it.

(don't worry, somehow the pants have two layers, cigs only burnt through one)

 

OMG i can see you doing that, that is fucking hillarious, i cant stop laughing

 

My first time of getting stoned we were at the graveyard paying our respects and we heard sireins and the people i was toking with freaked out and took of running and yelled RUN MAN RUN, and I take off to the fence and try to jump it but dont make it and cut my hand open, and then Kate 3 feet away says DUMBASS the gate is right here, and I said yeah and then ran out and dove in the back seat of the car and fell in the floor board laughing, then we took off down the road and she was going 20 and it felt like she was going 100 mph. And I kept pointing out stop signs that wasnt there, I thought speed limit signs and all those were stop signs.

 

I hate when i get high and i get the munchies, cause the kitchen is upstairs so ill get up and run upstairs and by the time i get all my food ready im like
" i gotta piss" so i go to the bathroom and then run downstairs w/o the food and im like damn...


My friends mom found out about him smoking cause he was lookin around his house for like 30 mins for his shoes and his mom asked about what he was doin and he said "lookin for my shoes" and she told him they were on his feet.

 

This one time at my friend's garage which we converted to like, a smokin den with carpet, tv,hifi, pool table etc We had spent all night in there blazin nd had all stayed (bout 5 of us). So we woke up the next morning and all decided it would be for the best to hit a bong or two for breakfast before we headinto town. We were down to the last guy to hit it and he was smokin it on the pool table (the bong, not him), then all of a sudden the guy, whose garage it was, step dad walks in.......there was a haze in the air and we could hrdly see the door from where we were (guess we took more than a few hits each). So anyway, i jumped in front of the guy hittin the bong and we all tried, really badly, to act casual as stoners do when they know they're busted....i dont know whether he really didnt realise what we were doin or if he decided to overlook it but the first thing he asked us was "how did you guys sleep?" (meaning, did we sleep well)...so i replied " two on the sofas and two on the floor"..................very long pause as we relise how stupid i was......................then he says " No, HOW..DID...YOU...SLEEP?", real slow and deliberate and i was like "ohhhhhh....um..pretty good, thanks". By this point i felt as though i was gonna explode with laughter.....so he just leaves (amazingly) and we all fall into fits on the floor while he is walking away......priceless............wow this msg is long, sorry

 

yah for sure he knew your guys were stoned.

it's pretty easy to tell, especially when your in a group

 

This happend back when i was a freshman in high school. So any ways we smoke like 4 packed bowls of some good dank buds and get really baked. Then i get some mad munchies so i go up stairs and look for food. Damn there is like nothing to eat my mom didnt go shopping for the week yet. So im like lets go to sub way. We hopped on our bikes and road to sub way. Well.. on the way we had to drive down like the busiest road and town and we are BAKED. So i cross the road to the right side and start going down and i yell chris cross quick theres no cars coming. He doesnt come and keeps on going well then cars start zooming by hes wicked baked going down the wrong side of the road one hand on the handle bars not peddling going down a hill riding his bike with both legs on the same side for some weird reason. I was so scared omg. We ended up getting there safley but lol it was so funny to see im rolling down the road on the busiest street in town smiling with one hand on the handle bar.

 

my stupid stoner moment is one we speak of today. there were about 6 of us hot-boxing the back of my truck, with the cap on. got a really nice haze built. but before that, when we were starting, my one friend accidently calls his mom on his cell during his hit all we heard was "BILL?....BILL?!....whats all that noise!" his parents werent home. and he coughed and exlpained it was the TV. anyway, when we finished up, we went inside, and somehow the 6 of us ended up on the floor laughing at nothing for a good 20 minutes crying and all. we laughed because others laughed, then when we realized we were laughing at nothing. twas a funny time.

 

I have quite a few. One time me and a friend smoked some kbud by ourselves because we didn't want anyone else to steal it from us (there was like 6 of us all together so we went in the bathroom). So I leave with the rest of them baked out of my mind laughing at everything. Then we have to walk to some gas station to get cigs. I go into the bathroom take this huge shit and walk out when I realized I left my phone in the bathroom. I go back and it's sitting in the toilet with all this crap on it laying in piss. So I just reach in the toilet and bring it out into the actual store where two of my friends are waiting and just hand them the phone trying to say I dropped it in the toilet and all these customers are looking at me b/c I'm holding a phone covered in shit.

 

hahaha good times... aite well i got madd stories, here's one that i was reminded of for a long time simply due to the circumstances..

Arite, so i used to live in cairo, hash there is maddd cheap, we used to smoke a good 5-7 joints a day on school days, and atleast 15-20 on the weekends. Anyways, i have this obsession with swords or basically any object i can swing around. Anyways, i'm at this friend Vadim's, who was 17 at the time but had his own apartment (as run down as it was, it was OUR spot), we used to go there everyday and just cheef at our designated seats. Anyways, we just had a fat sesh and i was bored so i got up and took a broom stick (without the actual broom part) and was like, "YO! CHeck this shit out!!!!" and started waving it around all crazy and shit like a fucking samurai, well being a dumb pothead i forgot about the chandelier above me and smacked it fucking hard. This bright light like lightning times ten just exploded around the room. All my friends were just like, "what. the. fuck." Anyways one should know that there were two parts to the chandelier that previously emitted the same brightness, after that one was brighter than the other. So if you wanted to 'dim' the lights, you just hit one. Ahh whatever, it was madd funny you just gotta picture this short semi-black kid waving around a fucking broomstick and creating lightning.

 

We were doing blades, there was 4 of us and we had an ounce. We kept the blades hot for hours and then finally one of us had to blow chunks and I mean really blow chunks, it was more of a power puke. Anyways you would think that he would have been grossed out but he was so high that all he could do was laugh!! ...... Those where the good ol' days.