Stuck In a Rut

Few years ago I had fall out with my better half (midlife crisis, intimacy issues leading to my infidelity) and we are on verge of separation (my spouse wants it). We have been co-existing and co-parenting since. We are almost 2 decades into wedlock and recently became empty nesters. I have been sober for about 3 years straight and obvious no physical contact. However, I grew up in a touch deprived childhood and miss the physical affection (even a hug) constantly and it’s breaking me up daily. What do I do? I feel there is no solution in sight ? Divorce/separation is not an option for us due to finances and legal reasons. I’m touch deprived for last 3 years. Not even a hug.

 

There are an awful lot of women around the planet who crave the same thing, in touching and having sex, so the world is your oyster. Try flirting with the other sex, for a starter, as you never know where things might lead to. Alcohol taken in any quantity is usually detrimental to relationships so best to forget it as it rarely resolves problems. Your marriage as detailed is a lost cause, broaden your outlook and try to find someone who desires the same level of physical touching as you. I am sure your wife would be better off as well if you could find a lover to make you more positive about life. Best of luck.

 

My therapist suggested massage. The local community college has a massage school that offers a program to give students "hands on" experience at a fraction of the cost of an LMT.

I we were within range, I'd hug you every chance I got.

 

Yes, I was going to suggest an Asian massage parlor, you'll feel much better, happy ending or not!

 

Thanks for your suggestion and insight. I have to add we are still acting like a live in couple with the co-parenting and co-existing scene so I’m literally under 24x7 surveillance by my partner .

 

Not exactly 24x7 unless you speak duplicity styled art.

 

I’m looking for more than that. A massage seems like obligatory touching . Touching in terms of a hug or a pat on shoulder or a hug even. Not just asexual physical contact or sexual contact.

 

Thanks Ray. Was always against using alcohol when it come to dating/relationships. Yes most likely a morale boosting bear hugging casual lover should work for me

 

Of course not literally 24X7, it’s implied.

 

The spouse has an issue with touching and you are stuck in a rut? Are you wanting to approach your spouse to reconcile?

 

Yes to the first question.
Yes have been trying that for about 3 years now and separation is eminent she can’t reconcile as she can’t get over it. We both have to move on. It’s just a matter of time.

 

Don't know if this could help you but there is such a thing as a cuddle buddy, there is an app called cuddlecomfort and it's free but it is JUST for platonic snuggling. You both get the needed physical touch without sex or strings attached.