Stuck between a rock and a terrible place.

Discussion in 'All in the Family' started by tree_hugger, Feb 18, 2009.

  1. tree_hugger

    tree_hugger Member

    My boyfriend and I moved out of my parents' house a few months ago to get away from my alcoholic father. We've been so happy ever since.

    However, my dad finally moved out, and my mom, though happy to be rid of him, is a very dependent person. Every time I come to visit, she begs me to stay with her.

    Granted, she has a son with Cerebral Palsy, and it's hard taking care of him... and I can't be here all the time.

    She's rather sick herself, with heart problems and degenerative disk disease. I feel really bad leaving her, but the truth is, I hate being in her house. It's filthy, none of the plumbing works, and I just feel like shit whenever I'm there.

    I know the right thing to do would be to move back in with her, and maybe this makes me a horrible, selfish person, but I really don't want to.

    What should I do?
  2. fricknfrack

    fricknfrack Member

    go visit her on occassion and help her out. But be honest w/ her. tell her your an adult too and you need your space. maybe theres some community support that can help with hrs with her son to take some care off her hands . As for the plumbing, is she on assistance? If she is, why don't you see if someone or her even have someone take a look at it. Someone with CP should never live in a place like that.
  3. blackcat666

    blackcat666 Senior Member

    first off i need to ask, what are the ages of your brother and mother?

    this does sound quite bad!
    i have seen cases like this where adult and child protective services have come in, and put people like your brother and mother into nursing homes.

    your mother has no right to ask that you give up your life and welfare for her and your brother.
    i'm not saying, you should not help them as much as you can.
    what i am saying is, you need to put yourself first, and take them into consideration.

    from what you have said above, you know that if you moved back in with her, your life would turn to shit for both you and your boyfriend.
    life is both hard and messy. there is no need to make it harder and messyer then it has to be.
    i'm sure you love your brother and mother. sometimes though it can hurt and even kill us or others if we live together.
    it took me quite a few years to learn this peace of wisdom and, i learned it the hard way too! and, that is: 'just because we love each other, does not mean we are good for each other."
    i hate to say this; i feel and think you, your brother and, mother are just not good for each other.
    people say, "when life gives you a limon, make limon aide."
    this is something else i learned the hard way too. "sometimes when life gives you a limon, and no matter what you do, or how hard you try to make limon aide, your stuck with a limon no matter what.

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