Struggling with ED and pregnant.

I wish you a lot of strength for the path you're going.


Considering your eating disorder, a miscarriage sounds very possible. Your body knows that it can't keep both, you and the fetus alive.

My prayers are with you!

*BiigHugs*

 

yeah, the miscarriage sounds like a real possibility, keep us posted...
good to hear that your taking the multi vitamin...at least if you miss one day, it's not like BC where something like pregnancy could occur, just take it when you remember.
If you really are serious about getting help with the ED, you should really start seeing a doctor...I know how hard it is, I still have those thoughts lurking around in my head. But I'm sure you know the problems it can cause for you later in life, even now, and you said yourself that you like your life and don't want it to end. Neither do any of us.
Not trying to sound pushy, sorry if it came across that way.

 

Good Luck on the ultrasound

 

Another big hug!

Hang in there. Looks like the whole abortion question might not be relevant if your body is taking care of things.

 

I just got back from the ultrasound/transvaginal thing... The tech wasnt allowed to give me any info, though she said, from what she sees, she doesnt see any pregnancy in my uterus...

It could be an ectopical pregnancy, and in about 45 mins. I should be expecting a call back from the dr. and hear what they have to say about it.

eek.

 

well, it sounds like things may be taking care of themselves, like others have said. I'm anxious to hear what the doc has to say. Good luck (((A+O)))

 

"I almost don't know which is safer, to be pregnant or have an abortion while I'm struggling with an ED... when you have an ED, you're really not safe, period, in any situation."

It's good that you understand that - "When you have an ED, you're really not safe, period, in any situation." If you take the abortion route, I'd HIGHLY suggest explaining the entire situation to your doctor, the doctor/nurse(s) at the abortion clinic, etc. They may want to keep you in the hospital for a few days, or put you on vitamins to help your body get through this. Same with the pregnancy - explain it to your doctor/s, so they're well aware of any complications that you might have.

I guess I really don't have much advice, but if you just need somebody to talk to about ED's (I've struggled since I was 9) or abortion (no, I've never had one... but I'm VERY pro-choice and got through one with an ex-girlfriend after she got pregnant from a close male friend) you're totally free to PM me, e-mail, AIM/MSN, whatever.
The most important thing is knowing that, even though you may not know everybody (or even anybody, if that's the case) here, you still have support from other women.

 

Ok, got a call back...
they said "There are no signs of ectopic pregnancy, though there is a very small cystic formation in your uterus, it could be very early stages of pregnancy or an impending miscarriage. come in tomorrow and have your hCG levels checked again, and that will give us an idea"

why did they refer to it as a cystic formation? that utterly confused me...

 

It sounds to me as though you may be miscarrying. With my third pregnancy, I had some spotting, went in for an ultrasound and then had my hcg levels drawn, which were extremely low for the gestation that I was as (same as you). They told me that I was more than likely in the process of miscarrying, but to return in 3 days to be sure that my body had taken care of things on it's own. So when my 3 days were up, I went in, and my hcg level was at zero. I pretty much figured it would be, because the day after I saw the doctor I began bleeding heavily and cramping quite a bit, worse than a period.

Anyway, sweetie, whatever happens, know that we're here for you. I will keep you in my thoughts. Hang in there. It's going to be okay.

{{{Hugs}}}

 

Just to clarify -- I wasn't suggesting that you not consider your own health. Of course that is important. But, if you reread your OP, all that you directly mentioned was looking into the effects of pregnancy on your own health. Again, that is of course an important consideration. My point was not to detract from that, but to make sure that this other factor, which is also important, is out there. As in, if the risk of either option is close to equal to your health, this other factor makes pregnancy riskier overall... The only reason I brought it up was because you mentioned some uncertainty, like if an abortion would be harder on you than pregnancy, you would consider carrying the child... Which, I have read the more recent posts, so you may not even have any choice to make, but that was my reasoning when writing before.

I would not want to be in your position for anything. I'm not trying to call you selfish, just bring up other things to consider. Basically, I agree with your preference for an abortion, and here is another reason to support that decision if any anti-abortionist gets in your face for it.

I wasn't trying to play the blame game or anything of the sort. If for whatever reason you chose to keep the child, you would need to check into a hospital, where they would shove a needle in you if you didn't eat... Because I know you can't just wake up one day and be over your eating disorder. Been there, done that, struggled for years and still keep up the silly rituals that allowed me to get healthy again. But I also know that nothing that I, some random stranger on the internet, say will suddenly make you eat the, what, I'm assuming 2500+ calories a day that a pregnant woman needs. So, if you chose for some reason to keep the child, which again, I thought from your OP was a remote possibilty, all I really can comment on is the risk to the fetus/child/whatever. When I do something risky even though I know the risks, I don't like to hear other people remind me of those risks -- it just makes me tune them out. But if they ignore the harm I may do to myself and focus on how it affects others, I'll listen.

I wasn't trying to be a bitch or play any blame game. I treat people the way I want to be treated, which doesn't work out well when people take things differently than I would. To me, a comment along the lines of "it may harm you, but you're doing this to yourself, that's your choice" just means "I'm not going to lecture you on what you already know"... I'm sorry if I came across otherwise.

Have you considered looking into other methods? I'm on the NuvaRing -- I insert it, put a sticker on my calendar for that day and for the day it should come out, then leave it in and don't think about it for 3 weeks. When I got it, they even gave me a handy-dandy little starter kit, which included a timer that beeps annoyingly on the day you should take it out. It's not that loud, but if you keep it next to your bed or your computer, it should be noticeable. It also has the lowest systemic level of hormones of any effective bc on the market -- you just absorb the hormones through the vaginal tissue, instead of putting them thru your digestive tract. There's also the patch, which I know next to nothing about. I suggest talking to your doc about options other than the daily pill, if you're not good at remembering!

 

they meant that it sounds like it could be a cyst, that's all. that is why they want to check your hCG levels checked, to see if it could really be pregnancy or that you do, in fact, have a cyst.

 

would a cyst give me a 368 hCG level though? thats my question...

 

((((((((((Hugs))))))))))
I don't know much about miscarriages, just that my mother had one and she said she had a lot of pain and bleeding with it (Of course, she was nearly 3 months along).
It's good that you're thinking of the unborn baby....your body isn't ready for this baby, it sounds. Get yourself in and keep yourself in good health before going through with a pregnancy. Or, ask your doctor if (s)he thinks your in good enough health (as you said you'd go through with the pregnancy if you were able, though it doesn't sound likely that you are).
I wish you luck with your decision. It doesn't sound like you're going to be in any kind of a regret with having an abortion, and that's good!
If it will be a lot better for YOU going through with the abortion, go for it. There is no guarentee (as you've said) that this baby will even make it out alive, so it's better that you do this now instead of waiting and risking getting attached (Which, you will....even if it's just a little) and then the baby not make it.
Do what's good for you and don't worry about the negative comments.
Love and luck.

Keep us posted on the happenings!

 

Also, you said you have a problem remembering to take pills. So, maybe you should consider a different kind of birth control.
Of course, there is abstinence. There are also condoms.
Maybe look into:
The Ring: http://www.epigee.org/guide/ring.html
Spermicides: http://www.engenderhealth.org/wh/fp/cspe1.html
IUD: (I heard these aren't really very comfortable for women who haven't had a child already, but I'm not sure....) http://www.fwhc.org/birth-control/iudinfo.htm
Diaphragm: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/pp...birthcontrol/pub-diaphragms-cervical-caps.xml
Depo-provera: http://www.fwhc.org/birth-control/bcdepo.htm
The patch: http://www.fwhc.org/birth-control/patch.htm
Cervical cap: http://www.fwhc.org/birth-control/capinfo.htm

Again, good luck.

 

Could well be what is called a Molear Pregnancy, or a "Blighted Ovum." Basically, an ovum, which was not strong enough or had the proper genetic material to start a pregnancy somehow got fertilized, it forms a "molar cyst" rather than an embryo. These are usually removed in a D&C type procedure. It is not uncommon, and really no different than if you were to "miscarry" it (which often happens before you even get to have the D&C) or have a really early abortion.

Molear Pregnancies NEVER turn into fetuses, they don't have the genetic material, BUT they can raise your HCG levels and cause pregnancy symptoms. This may NOT be what is happening to you, but it sounds familiar.

Talk to your doctor, and take good care of yourself.

((((((((((((((((A&O)))))))))))))))))

Blessings and love,

Maggie

 

Hugs to you ... I know that this decision and the feelings around it arent easy .... you are right to take care of yourself.

I agree with HippyChickMommy that you may be miscarrying. I think that's why the OB/GYN delay the first appts. Many pregnancies don't make it past the first trimester.

Sounds like you have been reflecting alot - that's a good thing.

 

well the dr. called and said my hCG levels rose... and assumes its just an early pregnancy.

the whole thing is weird though, because I don't get any sort of "morning sickness" [I know that doesnt just happen in the morning too, FYI lol] my boobs dont hurt, and arent any bigger....or anything. The only thing is that I get cramps on and off, sometimes really bad, sometimes not so bad, and lower backaches.

My mom thinks it doesn't sound like a healthy pregnancy, but the dr. can't find anything wrong... she is assuming it's just earlier than she thought, so I'm kind of confused.

I was having weird color discharge for a few days, which I told my dr. about.... but now it went away, and its just really really dry down there.

I called the abortion clinic, anyway, and I have a 2-3 hour counseling session there on Wednesday. I'm pretty nervous...

 

*hugs*

Please take care of yourself (eat right, get some rest, that sort of thing). I know this has thrown you into a tailspin. It WILL get better. Wednesday is just a couple of days away and then you'll be that much closer to dealing with all of this.

 

Yeah, I read about molar pregnancies, and one thing that got to me was that one of the symptoms is hyperthyroidism. I have no idea whether or not that's actually what's going on, but I have almost ALL of the symptoms of hyperthyroidism lately: increased pulse [108!], nervousness, extreme fatigue, weakness....
How would you suggest bringing this up to my dr.? And would you suggest asking my doctor or my OBGYN about it first?

If I got an abortion, and unknowingly had a molar pregnancy, would that cause any complications???

I really want to know if something is wrong, before getting an abortion, so that I have an idea of what's safe or not.

 

i was pregnant a couple months ago and went through an abortion.... i was eating vegetarian, but not necessarily healthily. my iron levels dropped a lot and i was tired all the time and a little nauseous and craving meat reallllly bad. i'm pretty sure i got a little anemic. when you get an abortion they do check your iron levels and for me they recommended eating red meat, peanut butter and spinach to raise it up. i had cramps too, and that's not abnormal, i did have breast type symptoms (sore nipples and they grew a little and darkened a bit) and a little queasyness like i said... i'd look online if you're worried about no sickness or breast tenderness. there might not be enough nutrients for the fetus to develop and that's why it's staying so small, or it might be earlier than they thought, like you mentioned. eat peanut butter and spinach and take your multivitamins please! and try not to worry too much until you know exactly what's going on... i imagine stress wont help at all.