Hello all, I'm new here, I looked through 7 pages before I started this thread and didn't see one similar. I am looking for advice, which is strange to me. I am in my late 20's, I came out when I was 19, so I've been dating women for 8 years now. I've never dated a straight girl before, nor have I ever been interested in asking one out. I'm a feminine lesbian, attractive, never have problems with dating women, it's just I am taking a break with dating. Experienced some really crappy people lately. Anyways, I recently moved back to where I am originally from and ran into this girl. We know each others names, but we don't really know each other. She was in the same program in college that my roommate was in and they were good friends, and she is also friends with a lot of people that I'm friends with from college, but we never hung out. I see her every week and I think she is really cute and attractive. I heard from some friends that she dates this older guy and they are on and off again, and I think off right now. Anyways, I am interested in her. Not in anything serious, just want to get to know her and ask her out. I'm not really sure what to do since she is straight. I know a lot of people will say, well she is straight she won't go out with you, but I have friends who ask out straight women all the time and it never fails them. I just don't have that "swagger" they have, so I'm really not sure what to do. What do I say to her? How do I get her to notice me? How should I act? Lol, this seems so funny to me, but if I ask my friends this they would ask me if I was okay or what is going on with me. Last Friday night, she was at her job and I went there with my family. My brother is a coach and my nephew was also participating in something regarding the team. We were waiting at the car afterwards for my brother and nephew to get done and she was standing near us. I looked over at her and she was doing something and she noticed that I was looking at her and raised up and looked back at me for a couple of seconds. It was this fleeting moment lol. She had a look on her face, that wasn't a bad look just a look like she wanted to say something, or at least that is what I like to think in my head. What should I do?
A lot of straight girls find it really fascinating to try and date or be with a woman. I hate to call it "experimenting" but often it really is experimenting. If you are willing to put yourself out there for her (in case she's interested) then you should be very much aware of the fact that there's a huge risk that she'll end up breaking your heart. But who knows? Nothing is only black and white. Maybe she's not straight? Maybe she isn't defining herself at all. Some people just fall in love. If I were you I'd try it out. Just see where it takes you. You've got more to gain than to lose in my honest opinion. You don't have to be blunt with her because perhaps that look you guys shared didn't mean anything at all and you'll come on too strong. Just see what happens. (I'm actually in a very similar situation at the moment)
Maybe youre thinking too much, it may not be what you think - more of what you might want to think. Just a quickie irrelevant story. I know a straight girl. She told me. We went out. We got sweet and all, we ended up doing things. I thought, this girl... is she into girls now????. Next day after, she told me, it felt good and all but it was a mistake shes not into girls.
No, I know that she may not be into girls and that she probably is 100% straight. I don't want to make her my gf. I just want to ask her out. If we hooked up and she said she wasn't into girls, that would not hurt my feelings and I wouldn't care. I'm not looking for anything right now, I just think she is really cute and attractive and someone I'd like to get to know. I have a friend that does this all the time, and every time it never fails, they always end up dating her or at least spending time together. Anyways, I don't have any expectations. I'm just not sure what to say to her.
I honestly feel like if she hasn't given you any signs yet then don't bother. You don't want her to feel uncomfortable around you. Maybe you can bring up something about lesbian or bi, and see how she react to that, then go from there
Hmm. Why not be promiscous, and some free-loving person? If she just want to experiment - what is wrong with that? Why do some people think these straight girls only use one? Be happy that she wants you to be the experiment out of every girl she knows instead! Also, I came to think about this, which bothers me, some girls say that "straight crushes are the worst" or "I have to find out if she is lesbian". To be in love with another lesbian does not guarantee she will love one back!
If you are not interested in her that way. Then why are you having a problem asking her out for a coffee? Do you want to classify it as a date or just a friend kind of thing?
