Stoned Festivus For The Rest of Us

Canyon in a Zoo...by drift

lol its a great phrase

my buddy I was with today has a wider palette than I and talked me into getting Vietnamese food....first time in my life.....I didnt get crazy I just ordered spring rolls and pork meal had a bunch of side stuff.....it was crazy good....I couldnt eat it all...they really load on the noodles

 

Oh do it! There should be horse riding places somewhere. you might even get a lesson in how to harness and saddle up. I like teaching people that. Our riding horses are pretty tame but I always tell people if they let you saddle them then they respect you, which is probably utter horse shit really but it makes them feel like they've accomplished something lol. The horses, they want to be saddled up so they go walking.

And then you might find it hard to get up on then but someone will help and then you just sit back on the beast and really it does everything, it's all follow the leader. If your horse stops for no reason, it's probably taking a poo and then the air will be filled with the aroma of horse manure, which I actually find fine lol. And then the horse will trot back in line, or the other horses might also wait.

You could take your child, or friends too. Or other parents and kids.

I'm excited.

 

She said she was gonna quit me if I didn't quit the booze... So I just started drinking more to see if she'd really choose... I have to hand to that girl she meant every breath and I'm glad she did cause I was about to drink myself to death. My drinking problem left today, she packed up all her things and walked away, well it looks like the empty bottle is where I'm gonna stay, cause my drinking problem left today.

 

My precious boys eating breakfast.

They're so different. Chase doesn't mind jumping all over you for food but does not really like to be touched, he's the grey one. And then Byron the black one he sits in his pen waiting patiently for his bowl. I got him a bit better with touching.but he's very timid. I just feed him grass with my hands a lot and then the moo cow Axalta lol, well he doesn't like to.be picked up but you can at least have fun with him and he's not scared.

 

They look a bit ugly there actually, they're much more adorable when they aren't eating. Chase has changed color so much he's now pretty much dark but 2 years ago he was white and tan.

 

Woah I just had a micro sleep in the bath and I held my phone during it lol. I better get out and go lay in bed I think.

 

Those rabbit pictures are so cute @Irminsul !

Since you really do enjoy those rabbits, I just know in my heart you would love to have a cat (or preferably 2 so that one will have a playmate when you and the Missus aren't around). A cat (or 2) would do lots more interesting and adorable things than your rabbits...which I have nothing against rabbits. I can tell you really enjoy interaction with your animals, and a cat would not only give you a challenge (which I know you enjoy) but one/they would give you so much love in return. Atreyu seems like such a good boy, he'd probably just know they were part of the clan and know to not kill them.

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I am up so late because I just HAD to finish a damn book I'd would now like to toss in a fire. seriously

It was The Story of Edgar Sawtell. I completely realize and know for a fact all fiction is not going to have only good, sweet amazing parts. BUT FUCK ME...this well written book wound up having just one awful thing happen after another... I just KNEW there had to be some justice going to happen in there. But NOOOOOO.

If I want to ponder on unfair, dispiriting shit, I can think and dwell on LIFE. I want better from my fiction.
I've said this before, and I'll say it again - AND MEAN IT THIS TIME....IF I ever look on the back of a book and see that Stephen King has recommended a book OR if it is on the damnshitting Oprah book-to-read list...I'm putting that book back where it was faster than you can blink your eye. Perhaps those 2 (and I really DO like Stephen King's books) may at some point in their lives recommended or praised a good book - but I will just be fucked to death if I have EVER read even one book recommended by them and liked it. And I've read plenty of there "recommendations". smdh I'll not get caught up in that again. Tnis particular book had BOTH of them singing its praises. I should have known better.

Hell I wouldn't be up at almost 4 to post this (out of total frustration and aggravation) if I had even once read a book recommended by either of them and it been worth a shit.

That damn Edgar Sawtelle book has left me depressed and damn angry at the numerous injustices in life. wth

Why even write fiction when you make it as bad or worse than real life!?!. shit

If (or when) I write a book, everything in it most surely won't be sunshine and flowers, but the entire thing is not going to be the saddest, most upsetting and just damn unfair tragic thing possible, surrounded by some facts.

So,if you want to read a depressing, NO GOOD END book - then by all means read David Wroblewski's The Story of Edgar Sawtelle.

 

My mum has a sadistic sense of humor when she sees and talks about our rabbits she talks really fast and really loud and says "HAVE YOU PUT THOSE RABBITS.. IN THE POT!" she doesn't get them and considers them to be rodents, which is true but still... There's way more weirdos who actually like rats and guinie pigs and mice and wth is with that anyway? Nah I'm looking pretty fly with my rabbits here, thank you.

She knows we love them and they are our pets, so she's not entirely serious, but she likes to stir us up about it. It's fun.

I remember when we first moved into our home 5 years ago we got those two rabbits and I sent the photo to home and said "our first pets" and her reply was "omg are you serious? Are they real?"

 

I love rabbits. Don't blame them for not wanting to be picked up. In the wild, one of their predators would come from the sky and pick them up.
Wanting to pick animals up is us humans being needy. A rabbit's love is special because it takes patience. Cats are easy. Cats learn to love humans in five minutes.
(I do like cats a lot too)

 

Technically they are not rodents.

 

Oh? I dunno who told me that... Actually it probably was my mum LOL but I kind of made the similarity. Honestly I think a rabbit is a just a very minniture kangaroo, but we have only had the mini Rex species so I can't speak about anything but them. Over the 5 years we've had several... 8? Rabbits perhaps. It was a big learning curve for us. Every new rabbit taught us something new. It was a constant battle. They're not stupid either and their memory on how to get into places and out of places, and how to get into mischief lol is very good.

We just have the 3 now and we had to separate them as they are all males. We've only had males.. For some reason a female is harder to find and you have to splay her after you buy her we got told and ughh I don't want to put my bunnies through that.

But with the moo cow Axalta there, we fully house-trained him to only pee and poo in a tray in a room near the laundry. Nobody believes us until you saw for Yourself the only time you saw a pellet was when he kicked it out of his tray bouncing out. He was fun in the house, but eventually became very horny and clawed and bit and spoofed all over us and I had enough so I spend like 200€ making this new pen for him lol. They all love side by side, they always fight when they're together.

 

The best rabbit I ever knew belonged to my friend(at the time bf so I lived with them). If he liked you and you stroked his cheek he would push his head into your hand so hard that his whole body would slide away. People don't understand them, so they end up kind of neglected.. then they get depressed and angry and people think they're vicious and overload rabbit shelters with them. It annoys me.

 

It was loosely based on Hamlet... so yeah tragedy.

 

Yeha we read the chin has the scent glands so if they press their chin on you, they're marking you and claiming you because they like you. we have light weight pet fence we have around the front of their pens so we let them out individually too to run around and binky and eat the grass.

I now have to order my pet food online delivery because I have a habit of getting sad in the pet store and trying to bring rabbits home with me.

 

Irm, your photos make me want to get another rabbit.

Actually, I think we're going to start looking for another dog again soon. We want to visit the local rescue and let them know what we're looking for. I want a medium-sized dog with hair, not fur, because of allergies.

On that note, I think I'm soon going to book an appointment to get a tattoo commemorating my last dog. I think I'm just going to get his dog tag with his name on it, but I don't know where yet. Maybe the back of my elbow, probably on the arm with the two for my kids.

 

That's cool. I've thought about the paw print tattoo before. I've also considered getting him taxidermy lol. But might be bit too creepy.

 

old joke



old cranky nurse ''did you see that new patient has a penis tattoo that says 'Swan' isnt that odd?''

young cute nurse ''swan?....I saw the tattoo but it says ''Saskatchewan''



okay...I am retiring this joke....I got enough mileage out of it

 

I wish my guy had a big one....

Instead of the monster he has.

retired... I can wish!

 

Very recognisable of course. But to be fair; I have this feeling not only when trying to enjoy and take in a place in nature or a monument like Stonehenge but also when visiting a ruin , or a museum.
I am often interested in new expositions at historic museums but what keeps me away is when I know they're awfully popular (which is great for history in general and the museum, but not for me as a visitor who wants to stand close and in front of a piece, without standing toe to toe or having to wait every time i move on to the next piece... )

 

I concur. There are so many interesting places on earth I will probably never see because they're far too popular