still straight or newly bi?

Discussion in 'Coming Out and Confused!' started by browneydgrl, Jan 5, 2005.

  1. browneydgrl

    browneydgrl Member

    if two girls have sex and one is straight but the other is, well she can be anything, does that count as a curious experimentation or does that mean that the "straight" girl is now bi? lets assume the sex was a one time thing.
     
  2. Jonny6

    Jonny6 Member

    Assuming she was straight, she is still straight.

    Even if it didn't stop, she could still be a straight girl happily enjoying gay sex. She would, though, find sex with a guy a lot more fulfilling as she is attracted to men.
     
  3. Disarm

    Disarm Member

    Yeah, regardless of what you do sexually or even non-sexually, your 'status' as gay/bi/straight is determined by which gender/s you are attracted to.. Like if I had really crap sex with 3 guys and didn't feel anything, and great sex with a chick, my sexual orientation would still depend on what aroused me..if guys still turned me on and I wasn't attracted to the chick, I'd still be straight. If I was attracted to that chick or just interested in having more gay sex to see what it was like, I'd be bi-curious..if I wasn't attracted to guys anymore I'd be gay..depends on what you think, really.
     
  4. thats up to the girl to decide.
     
  5. gertie

    gertie Senior Member

    sexual titles are not for everyone. that girl can be bi-curious or bi or whatever. in the end it doesn't matter, it shouldn't matter. love and be loved. embrace te beauty within.
     
  6. RxHEAD

    RxHEAD Member

    I agree with the LOVE concept. I have faced this so many times as being a non gay/bi guy. I choose to identify myself as gay/bi as I am capable of having sex with males or females only I am not capable of having a romantic type intimate relationship with a female. I am emotionaly and romantically attracted to males in a way which I have never been able to do so with a female. I feel that sexual identity has much to do with the ability to love in a romanic way that of the same sex. If your friend has not identified as being bi/gay I would be careful of falling for her in a romantic way as the ones who can not make up their minds can cause much heartache. Peace to you and best wishes-
     
  7. PhotoGra1

    PhotoGra1 Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

    Sexual orientation and sexual behavior are two different things, and should not be confused.

    Sexual orientation is an identity. For example, if you went to prison/military/etc, and began sexual relations with members of the same sex because that is all that is available, that does not make you gay. Alternately, many gay people marry and/or have heterosexual relations prior to coming out.

    Several studies have suggested that a majority of heterosexual males (and a substantial minority of females) experience at least one homosexual encounter during their lifetime.

    (The studies I have read have never listed what constitutes "homosexual encounter," though, so while interesting, I would take those results with a grain of salt.)
     
  8. Duncan

    Duncan Senior Member

    Girl A is straight and Girl B could be straight, bi- or gay. A and B and consentual sexual relations. The meaning of this is that Straight girl A and possibly anything girl B are still Straight girl A and possibly anything girl B had consentual sex with each other. How they choose to proceed is completely up to them. Many people experiment with things that don't alter who they are or define themselves for the rest of their lives. If that were the case, then everyone who had toked a joint as a teenager would be a drug addict.
     
  9. SelfControl

    SelfControl Boned.

    The way I see it, if you're attracted to members of your own sex you're either bisexual or homosexual. However, if you're just trying something out to see if you'd like it, the same doesn't necessarily apply. I've met straight guys who go to gay clubs to get head, just because it's easier to get there than with a chick. I'm not going to kid myself that these guys are just in denial about what flaming queens they are. Still, a good time was had by all.
     
  10. Naturedude90

    Naturedude90 Member

    I think people just have to be honest with themselves and not to place a label on yourself. I'm 14 and I' have been driving myself crazy over my this issue. I'm just going to chill out and get mellow. I have 2 dads & my Mom is Lesbian. 1 of my friends said that because of my parents ... that I'd turn gay. It was freaking me out. Now I'm just thinking what will be will be. I think we can be attracted to both male& female.. and that it's ok. just because you think a person is cute, or hot looking.. you can just enjoy the fact that you think that person is attractive. It doesn't mean that you will go out and have sex with that person or would want to do that.. but just enjoy that hey! I find that person to be attractive. I think a lot of the world tries to put pressure on you & try to stick a label on you. I'm just going to enjoy the fact that I can find a person sexy,male or female. I do know that the day i deside to have sex... that it will be special & sacred& blessed. It's not something you just rush into. It's a very sacred thing to give you body& soul to another person. So just enjoy life& chill. There are blessings all around us. Sorry if I've rambled on! Peace , Love, Unity,& respect... Aiden
     
  11. SelfControl

    SelfControl Boned.

    Don't think that your parents made you gay. I mean, they've probably not discouraged it, but I'd imagine you would've been gay/bi anyway.
     
  12. SkeeterVT

    SkeeterVT Member

    It's becoming more commonplace for younger people to come out bi after being previously straight (Certainly more so than among my fellow Baby Boomers). What's still rare, though, are people who come out bi who were previously gay.

    I should know: I'm a bi man who came out in 1993 after falling in love with a woman who happened to be a housemate of mine (She turned me down). I'll be 52 years old in April, and at the time, I was approaching my 40th birthday. I had previously come out gay in 1978.

    Although this woman and I never became intimate, the fact that I was experiencing both an emotional and erotic attraction to her made it clear that I could not honestly call myself gay anymore. And so I took the occasion of my 40th birthday to come out of the bi closet and I haven't looked back since.

    I have a gay boyfriend, with whom I've been in a long-distance relationship for almost 20 years and he's cool with my being bi. Where I'm running into problems is with the old bugaboo of monogamy vs. polyamory (being in love openly with more than one person at a time). While my boyfriend is OK with is (We've always had an open relationship), every potential girlfriend has said a firm "NO!"

    But after nearly 20 years, the only way I'll give up my boyfriend is if and when he passes away into the Great Beyond. I have no patience for jealousy or possessiveness in relationships (which I'm finding, much to my chagrin, is very widespread in my generation).

    So in the case of the "straight" girl who has sex for the first time with another girl, it's up to her sense of personal honesty and integrity to decide whether to come out as bi or not -- even though, in actual practice, she's no longer strictly "straight."

    It would be much healthier psychologically in the long run for one's internal sexual identity and actual sexual practice and orientation be in synch with one another.

    -- Skeeter
     
  13. txbarefooter

    txbarefooter Senior Member

    Wow Naturedude, some very mature words and insite for a 14 y/o.

    I don't believe you have much to worry about "turning" gay, either you are or you aren't, you can't be turned. I also don't believe your "environment" can make you gay either, being you have two dads and a les mother.

    peace out,
    bob
     
  14. Amanda N

    Amanda N Member

    How about she forgets about labels, and just does what she feels is right?
     
  15. ZePpeLinA

    ZePpeLinA Jump around!

    basically having a casual sexual experience with the same sex doesnt make a person gay...but, repeating the experience and fantasising about the same sex does...
    either way, why label people? let's be free! ;)
     

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