My dad died when I was 5. My mom remarried a women when I was 13. She was a very strick women and from 14-18 when I moved out would either punish me or insist that my mom punish me. This would happen probably 4-5 times a year. I wish I had someone to talk about these things.
The same problems still happen when you are living with your biological parents. It is all about YOUR level of acceptance of a step parent and it is a catch 22 situation. They are in a constant situation of you feeling resentment when they discipline you in any way, then feeling neglected when they ignore you. The only solution lies in communication. Playing one parent against the other can do nothing except harm. Clearly I do not know any of the reasons for what you are calling punishment and what you do that triggers it, but since it does not sound like any form of abuse, you should consider yourself lucky that they both care about you.
