Spanking your kids

Thank YOU sir.

I'll be honest. I spank my kids. And I do so without apology. I'm also told on a regular basis that I have "the most amazing kids". I mean I have THREE BOYS and people tell me to bring them over and leave them at their house overnight, etc at times.

Not saying other kids don't do the same without being spanked. I'm saying, it works. The kids love me. Are they scared of me at times? Yes. And I plan to keep it that way. A little fear goes along way when coupled with respect. At the same time they're talked to about how to avoid spankings and such to avoid teaching them to not get caught as opposed to stopping the behaviour.

No parent has the right answer, and no parent really knows until it's too late if they've made the right choices. What I know is that I choose to do things the way my grandfathers did things because I've seen that the majority of their children(a combined 14 or 15 in total) have grown to be well rounded individuals and generally successful in raising their own families.

 

You going to lecture your 14 month old on the dichotomy of good and evil for 45 minutes each time he slaps another little kid?

No, you wont. You know why? Because he'll walk away. And if he doesn't walk away he wont understand half of the VERY little bit he actually listened to. You have to go with something that captures their attention and gives them a negative association with the "bad" thing they did.

Smacking of the hand/ass does just that. Kid A pushes Kid B and gets spanked. He thinks to himself, "That hurts". Then each time Kid A pushes somebody he realizes "That hurts" and he doesn't want to do that pushing action any more because each time he does his ass hurts.......

Seems to me most kids wont understand a lecture past "That's not nice" and that doesn't mean much to them until a certain age. EVERY kid understands that their ass stings.....

 

I don't spank my son and I never would. I am not going to tell him that if someone does something you don't like that you can't hit them or do them some other bodily harm and then when he doesn't do what I think is right resort to spanking him. What kind of message does that send? I have wondered that for a long time. My father spanked me and all it did was make me afraid of him. A child should not fear a parent.

 

I don't have any kids of my own, but I do have a niece and I see how little my niece respects her mother and I know it's because she isn't spanked.

One time, I went over to my sister's apartment and my grandmother pushed her granddaughter's arm down to get her to stop her from doing something that she should not have been doing. So my sister, her friend, and I all reacted negatively to this and my niece saw this and used our reaction as a leverage and my niece ended up being coddled for her bad behavior and my grandmother ended up looking like the bad guy.

Children will attach themselves towards anything that will lessen their punishment. They will do what they can to get away with what they are doing. But it is up to us to spot this and reevaluate what we need to do to show to the child that what they are doing is wrong. Sometimes smacking their little butts is needed.

Believe me. A little smack on the bum isn't going to permanently scar them and it isn't teaching them to deal with their problems violently. Like it has already been said, it just ends up giving them more empathy for the pain they inflict on others because they can actually feel it through punishment.

 

I've tried spanking, but it just makes me feel completely awful. Besides, spanking never worked for my kids.

 

When he was 13, my son got into bother at school for playing with fireworks. He is usually a well behaved student and this was the first time he had done anything so dangerous so the Head decided against paddling him - instead gave him detention.

When he got home he wasn't so lucky, he was spanked 20 times with a slipper. There were heavy tears but not welts and the blows were not too hard, not what most would consider child abuse. He was spanked across his clothed buttocks whilst bent over my desk. An appropriate form of corporal punishment.

 

Behavior is learned, which is the basis of behaviorism. If a child is spanked, whether light or hard, he/she will hit others and resort to fighting. Also, children will learn how to avoid being spanked and still get what they want. We call it lying. If parents are calm, loving, and model appropriate behaviors, then you won't have to punish frequently. Award the positives, but use natural consequences for negative behaviors. For an example, if you catch your teenager drinking, then set a curfew. If your younger child has tantrums, then ignore him/her. When he/she calms down, then speak to him/her. Remember to be calm.

I teach in an emotional support classroom. My students frequently have tantrums, but respond well when I'm calm and positive. I'm not saying you shouldn't use punishment, but punishment must be fair. Hitting a child just spends the wrong message. I would like my own children to come to me if they are having difficulties, but hitting them early in their lives will scare them away. I don't have my own children yet, but I have 15 students who are considered to be challenging.

 

so far as i can tell, they hit anyway until the one they're hitting them back. *sigh* i can't punish the behavior of the one who hits back.

 

now im the kid that was beat royaly by his father..... what he did was wrong however i am not against spanking. its a way to teach your kid what is wrong and right. and if you do something wrong it will come with consequences usually painful. You speed you get a ticket. you OD you die you hit you sister you get spanked. now i think there is a time and place to do such a thing. i dont think i would spank my kid until he was 4 and at that point it would not be a hard spank just enough so he/she felt it.

 

My sons have been spanked since they were five and I continue to this day. They are now 10 and 13 and I see it as normal for a parent to spank their children when they do wrong. I live in the USA where paddling is common. I am not ashamed to admit I paddle them

 

me and my sister have never been spanked or anything by our parents ever. i'm not here to tell anyone how they should raise their children, but my sister and i have always had a really good relationship with our parents. they talked to us and explained when we did something wrong. they gave us their trust and they have never had any problems with us. i don't think one should fear their parent. when i have a problem, i don't want to run away from them, i go to them for guidance and support.

 

I think that spanking may be different. You may spank a little just if nothing else helps so that a child could understand that if he does something what he knew he should not do - he will be punished. Not all children understand another type of punishment. However I am against hard spanking as it is really not effective but only provokes aggression.

 

I don't think hitting kids is any different from hitting another adult. Adults tend not to go around smacking each other tho because we're all big enough to hit back.