Sources Of Wisdom

In 1999 I believe I saw the Holy Spirit she came to me in a form that took me a while to understand. She had the head of a praying mantis, arms of a praying mantis, and body and legs of a praying mantis. She revealed in that form because she is praying for us. I realized this because after I read a prayer called Creed of the Holy Spirit, i heard a motherly voice say "i appreciate you worshipping me but never do it again and worship what i bestowed upon you" before i seen her in 1999 i had an Outer Body Experience right after my nightmare, I saw myself laying on my back on my bed then 3 giant eggs fell on top of me and i woke up.

in 2012 I created a short acrostic poem for the word You because i was wondering how we discovered it, I pondered that it was the beginning letters of 3 larger words and concluded with Your Own Universe, suddenly my head activiated like a powerful monitor turning on and i was staring at some projection of a universe with 3 purple stars. I never understood the meaning but other people also had revelations which makes me believe it had something to do with inifinity and poetry.



I had a moment where I was thinking in my room one day how to become a guide toward being an emporer, i paced back and forth until I stopped, I felt a heighten feeling go above my head and shoulders and I felt a powerful source of energy travel through my left brain hemisphere and in a low, old, ghostly voice, in a feint fatherly whisper say 1888 which was when the Secret Doctrine was coincidently released. I later learned it was the Father of Truth after I prayed out loud the Father of Truth prayer left by saint Charble and he told me more wisdom. "Return a gift to Jesus Christ, and you will be blessed" my interpertation is the gift of eternal life through music.


One night i wanted to know what to study more into and chose Philosophy and going to New York to learn of other peoples psyche, a pink blob appeared before me as i felt my body flying towards the sky and once i felt like i reached the clouds my mind visioned a hazy blue background with a transparent pink silhoutte standing ontop of the light pink clouds with his head slightly cocked down.

One day while driving with friends i had a purple highlight block my vision for not even a second and it turned into a manifestation of the Violet Flame, I watched it move in a linear pattern, then I felt my blood rush and a euphoric feeling go through me and i started freeatyling over 50 cent what up gangsta. My friends were shocked anf i explained what i saw but we were all confused, they loved the rhythm but the words were so spontanious I or they couldn't remember what i said. I was only feeling positive before it appeared to me no thought activated it like the others.

I made a sarcastic vulgar joke about the Mona Lisa, and was Host to Leonardo Da Vinci for a little bit (a detailed sketch of a skeleton with flashy orange eyes staring at me from within) with a feeling of something massaging my brain. I couldn't see through the skeleton my vision was shuttered ( I could only see my surroundings around the skeleton in physical reality). It's still a mystery why he appeared like that but it has something to do with equality and definitely more.

I saw Jesus Christ one night in my right eye, It was just a memory from my spirit because he moved very stange like he was laggy, but he spoke a few times his voice had powerful resonance, and he walked around revealing his Realm to me, it felt like a light breeze was blowing through my marrow and my molecules were vibrating like I was in the presence of a God, trurly he has power. I don't remember much but the last moment of this experience I saw him walking toward a house in as a black figure with 2 women beckoning him inside, Jesus walked past the door as the women left and it faded to black. The reason it was a black figure was because any healthy man can become a Christ, and any healthy women can give him guidance and comapny.



After seeing Jesus I thought to myself and asked "if he was real, does that mean?" and before i could manifest the thought "the devil" Lucifer arose from the black as a Ferrari Red color, lines created his face to make sharp points, his whole face was like a symbol to the black. He had a big jaw and had red stars for his eyes, after a bit I realized it was a depection of a dragon without knowing Lucifer was a dragon in Catholicism. I believe the sharp points are a metaphor toward Individualism. There was a lot of sharp points.

I met Thoth because I thought "I wonder if Thoth fooled everyone wearing a mask" he appeared in a flash with a white background snarling his big teeth he resembled a baboon but his snout was more like a canine with big fangs for teeth. I was absolutely mortified as I thought i offended him and didn't think of much afterwards.

I closed my eyes and saw myself sideways as a gray image staring at me through imagination with pupils shaped like a cat. I concentrated on that image than it disappeared. My understanding of this is animals especially cats have concious descions and we are crooked to them.

And finally.. I saw my own spirit in a bronze oval shape bubble, there was green forests on the left and right with green grass covering the remaining space and a dirt trail my spirirt was running down which was a straight & narrow trail. My spirit was reading a book; thick as an encyclopedia, and had a blue cloak to the knees, and fancy blue breeches both with a silver striped designbit looked very high in fashion toward monarchy. My spirit was running an opposite paralell to myself, my spirit closed the book and ran even faster towards myself and disappeared from the bubble when he ran "through me". I was running on the side of road during that moment as well so I just watched in amazement.. and guilt and stopped running afterwards because I didn't feel like myself.

After all my experiences I thought of the harbringer Death and he appeared as this ghostly illusion with red stars as his eyes and said some wisdom. "Just because they are real, doesn't mean that they exist" he came before me as an illusion with red stars for eyes because Death is just an illusion, but I feel that there is some purpose relating to the red stars as his eyes because thats the third time in my life they've been mentioned.

When i was 7 or 8 my best friend told me my eyes went red in front of her, her and her friend were freaking out but also laughing hysterically they lost all composer for a moment. They told me to face the door and panicked some more probably just making things up from this point saying i had a tail but when we went downstairs she pointed at the red led light that looked like a red star on a wireless phone base and said your eyes looked exactly like that with a serious tone and look on her face. I've never forgotten the moment and one day when I was with my best friend we were playing a video game and his character was a warrior, i said "your warrior is the man" and in a voice i never heard before i hear him say "you're my man" and felt an air bubble or something of the sorts busrt on my right cheek and i looked over to see in his pupils an orange star in one pupil and a blue star in the other, we stared at eachother in this hynotized moment till i looked back at the screen and reminded myself of the moment when i was 7 or 8 and question popped up "what does that make me?" I believed her after that moment..I was 19 then.

I wondered why Gurdjieff called his religion he created the Fourth Way, I thought it had some esoteric meaning to the Fourth horseman, as soon as i put them together I felt a surge of energy go throughout my crown and I stood up from my sitting position because it felt powerful.

Just the other day I thought of myself as a Fool mentioned on the sephiroth kabbalah and as soon as i thought that i see this ball of blueish white trimmed energy fly before me and say "Ein Sof", in a very high piched voice it was a frequency i can't even mimic in my mind. After doing some research of the Kabbalah a lot of kabalists believe that Chokmah is the starting point to creation and I belive the Fool is the starting point in interpretating Creation for myself.

 

These are just some of the things I saw I also saw a red eye shaped like the animal bull twice. The first time was after my best friend said a curse word at the kabalah and called it shit he was really aggressive and I felt this supernatural oppression in my pineal glad literally pushing my head to look down but when I looked back up i saw the solo red eye behind his crown, and the other time i saw it i had the thought "i wonder why christians thought hermes trismegistus is the Anti-Christ suddenly the solo red eye jumps out my heart but much smaller then the last and says "Evasive aren't I? In a old voice that soundes wise. It bounced around for a very short moment, I almost ignored it but I snapped into it thinking he must have existed during Ancient times.

 

Seems like you've read a mishmash of esoterica and self-induced pseudo-mystical experiences. The mind is capable of realizing the numinous, but it really won't get you anywhere.

 

I've got a lot to learn I'm still young (23) and honestly I'd rather dedicate my life towards Wisdom than have to work for currency my whole life, wither they are real or just manifestations from my mind I could still read all the wisdom related to what I saw for many years and follow the religion Gurdjieff created because I want to know more this life has to offer intimately. Most of those experiences happened 2014 when I was 20. I don't expect any glorious answer from anyone but myself but maybe someone could understand it more broadly, I don't think pseudo is correct but that's only my opinion I know it's all over the place but from my understanding the Kabbalah is integral to my life and understanding to mysticism and I am just beginning to understand myself as a poet.

 

If it's integral to who you want to be then nothing is stopping you from going down that path.

Just try to remember to balance you journey with the physical and material. Mystical revelations can be very rewarding but not much fun if you're out in the cold and got nothing to eat.

 

I do understand that, I was addicted to the material (as a lot of my generation is) but I also believe some of the greastest fictional writers must of experienced something similar, I could never visualize even as a child my imagination was black unless i was daydreaming, which was out of my control much like those were. So trying to be more spiritual is certainly a challenge but like you said I'm not going to give up my job in search of endless Wisdom, i'm gonna work on my mental health and continuesly become a better human then my past tense self. Basically be more responsible.

 

Hmmm...you take LSD?

 

otter body experience?

they do look like they have fun.

mantis woman i don't know about, i mean she's probably somebody in somebody's culture,
i mean i know what the little ones supposedly do,
and i can see where some kind of religious symbolism could come from that.

rainbows are what remind me about spiritual stuff, that and you know, kind of like twisty spaces,
mostly in nature, because for reasons i don't understand, people seem to not like people to build them.

 

all the wisdom of belief is written in the mysterious script of bark beetles, on the inside of tree bark. unfortunately no one has ever been able to translate the script.