Soul mate?

I think I found my soul mate. OK, probably not, since I don't buy into that corny shit. The thing is, I recently met this woman I have so many things in common with it's almost scary. We even went to the same high school at the same time, though she was two years below me. Neither of us remember each other from back then, but there are so many synchronicities and similarities between us that it's almost scary. What sucks is that there is no physical chemistry, and I am rather bummed out by that because she is a super cool woman. She finds me attractive, but I don't have the same feelings about her, and I don't know how to tell her. I like petite, ultra feminine women, and this woman is about two inches taller than me, which feels somewhat... emasculating. She is big, and when I say big I don't necessarily mean big in the sense that she is fat, but she is rather big boned. She has a pretty face, but I am just not feeling the attraction to her that I feel is needed to be in an actual relationship. She would make an awesome friend, but I am not sure how to go about telling her how I feel without hurting her feelings.

I won't deny that I am a bit shallow when it comes to physical appearances. I have very picky tastes when it comes to women, and I feel like maybe I shouldn't since I don't always have the easiest time meeting new people, much less people I can relate to.

Any advice would be great.

 

Yeah, that sucks.
Even though your issue is kind of superficial, it still matters.
Maybe you should give it a go though, and see what happens, who knows.

I don't know lol.

 

If you're not attracted to her physically, I wouldn't recommend "trying it out." It would be rather cruel to her to begin a romantic relationship if you feel her appearance would be something you couldn't see yourself ever being attracted to.

It's OK to be somewhat superficial, so long as you're not degrading people who you don't find attractive.

 

I personally don't think that the physical spark and attraction can be forced or grown into. I also think that there are lots of different kinds of soulmates! Lovers, lifelong friends, any kindred spirit. Even pets.

so what's wrong with being friends with this woman? That can be every bit as fulfilling as a physically intimate relationship. Mental intimacy is just as important.

Be her friend, if something physical happens let it come about organically. You don't have to label or anything or force it, just enjoy her companionship and whatever comes with it.

Just make sure you're being honest with her and mindful of her feelings towards you.

**Edit** Just realized that doesn't really deal with the main issue...her feelings are probably going to get hurt if you're honest about your feelings. That doesn't mean you should ignore your feelings. Hmm..I still say be honest and hope she's okay with being friends. Good luck!

 

start drinking again and she will start to look better.

 

Hahah... good idea.

 

If you believe her to be a 'soul mate' I say keep connected with her and I'd reccommend pursuing a FWB situation if she is physically attracted to you and you have difficulty meeting new people.

Enjoy some good company while you got it.

 

Without the right sexual chemistry it probably wouldn't work out.
But as others have suggested you could still be friends.

 

You listed everything you want, One(ish) holding you back. Why not spend time with her, Getting to know more about each other and possibly a date or two. Not a true date, Tell her you don't want to eat alone etc and use that as a crutch.

Ask yourself this, Would you rather have a skinny little bitch that looks good and nothing in common and miserable, Or a woman who is on the same page as you, But the 'looks' department falls short? Remember the skinny bitches are high maintenance and most are lazy so you will be their bitch!

If you two enjoy each others company and are friends and keep doing so, You might have a change of what you really want. A person who is game for anything you want to do and vice versa is a great start.
Today she might not be the centerfold you lust after, But when she is not available, You might kick yourself.

Id give it more friend time and see if anything changes. I have herd too many stories of 'why did I do that' and 'why did I pick her over her' to know that 'looks' for the most part is overrated and why there is a high divorce rate.
To each their own, Good luck

 

I agree with Mama here....If she is not your type...don't degrade her....be as diplomatic and kind as you can be....maybe you will have a great friend out of it, anyway.

 

sounds like you have a new friend


and maybe think about falling in love with the person not the picture

 

Genuine attraction (or repulsion!) is something you feel from the heart. Not all soul mates are meant to be romantic. Some serve purposes for growth or lessons, or the meeting of needs. She could be carrying a message for you or you could be carrying a message for her.

 

If you end up with a small petite woman, your offspring will be even shorter and smaller-boned than yourself.

Think of the children.

 

I'm 5'9''. I'm not that short.

 

Good thinking lol!
That's why I'm going to have babies with tall, dark and handsome! With nice teeth, of course.

 

You'll make a good mother.

 

what's your shoe size and wrist circumference?

My wrists are considerably less than 6 inches around.

 

i wonder why my ears were ringing...they say that happens when someone is posting about you on hipforums


sorry that you found a nice girl that isn't hot enough for you, rat

but seriously, it would be really hard to have any kind of a romantic relationship (especially a long lasting one) if you feel NO attraction to her whatsoever.

a friend of mine dated a woman like this for a few years and finally decided to end it. i would try to keep her as a friend, and maybe she'll end up being awesome enough to help you not be so shallow

 

Just be her friend.. something may or may not grow out of it. Sometimes people become more attractive to us when we become close to them-know them well. But don't put pressure on yourself for that.... just focus on a friendship and internally have in the back of your mind that maybe things will change and maybe they won't.

In any case, yea, don't lead her on or "try things out" right now... but I would also say, as someone said "be honest w her" (or something)---yea, in a way that's important. But there is something called too much honesty too. You don't (obviously) have to be like "you're not skinny enough for me and you're too tall"-- you don't even have to tell her why... you can just say you're not interested in a relationship w her at the time but you are interested in a friendship.

 

This is the advice to follow.

There is nothing wrong with being picky, there is something wrong with pretending to like someone when you don't and hoping the feelings will come later. It's great that you've found a lovely person to have in your life! Just because she's female you don't have to pressure yourself into thinking you should want more. But do do do be mindful of her feelings.