You know it's a funny thing about songs. They can often help you deal with loss. And they can sometimes help you express your emotions better than you can. Like when I lost my mom in 1996. The first song I associate with my mother is "Love Makes the World Go Round". When I was a little kid, she would rent it from the Detroit Public Library just so we could listen to that song. "I Will Remember You" seemed to come out right after my mother died. I definitely associate it with her. "It's All Coming Back to Me Now" by Celine Dion too, because it came out at the same time, and it also deals with remembering someone and loss. "Ironic" seemed a propos at the time, because my mother wanted to see the Royal Lipizzaner horses in the Summer of 1995 to no avail. Then just after she died, they came to town. It was a cruel irony, even her sister pointed out. "Un-break My Heart" seemed poignant at the time. Though I think I dealt with her loss much better than I would have as a child. My aunt didn't deal with her death well at all. Later, when I shared "My All" by Mariah Carey with her, she said it made her cry. "One Headlight" by The Wallflowers came out then too, and it seems to deal with things like loss and funerals. Speaking of funerals, I always found the final graveyard scene from "Oh Father" by Madonna very poignant, because it deals with her relation with her father after her mother's death. I first saw a clip of that video on local Kelly & Company in Detroit in 1990, when her brother was being interviewed. But I only actually saw the video right after my mother died. "Don't Speak" by No Doubt came out just after my mother's death too. It has little significance to me, I suppose. My father and I liked it though. Also on an unrelated note, "I Still Believe" by Mariah Carey was being played in 1999 on cable as my cat Fluffy died. Also, speaking of loss in general, "When I Look to the Sky" by Train and "There You'll Be" by Faith Hill deal with the loss of a loved one in such a positive way. While "My Immortal" by Evanescence deals with what happens when the healing process doesn't go well. Most songs of loss are so upbeat. But sometimes it doesn't go that way. In it she says, if you're going to leave, I wish you'd just leave. And though you're still with me, I've been alone all along. The video is also unique because in it, perhaps symbolically, her feet never touch the ground.
There's more to the I Will Remember You song. When my mother was being laid out in the funeral home, I was sorry I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to her in the hospital. But the lady doing her hair said you can talk to her now, which is ironic. At that point I really didn't believe in an afterlife. The whole song reminds me of my mom though. Listen to it. Or at least read the lyrics. I don't know when Sarah Maclachlan released it offhand. But I only heard it after the above incident in the funeral home, ironically just like O Father. I only heard Ironic the same way. I was surprised to learn the video for Ironic was filmed in December of 1995. That's basically when my mother was dying, or when the events happened that led to her death. Some of the songs are more dead on for what I felt and went thru. And some less so. I guess it's because some human experiences, and tragedies, are universal.
Music has the power to bring up vivid memories. Music speaks to our souls. As far as dealing with loss, music will bring up all sorts of emotions. If that helps great, just don't wallow in maudlin sentimentality.
