Im not sure if its me or if its life. I grew up on the streets, I was no badass or anything special. I just did what needed done and survived. I was involved drug dealing and alot more. Without going into detail some of my what I thought were close friends were just hiding out from things and some bad things happened. While it didn't directly affect me it caused problems between my other friends and a bad fallout happened and we all agreed to get out of the area and change our lives. I went to college, and they went and did things to. I still lived wild for many years and finally settled down. Over the next 20yrs, the past lived inside me my kids grew up and I was the great parent who went to all the school events and did everything. No one knew that at one time I had been in gangs and all that. This last year with my kids grown I meet some people and was reintroduced to weed. I didn't want to do it as thats in my past. As time went on and my health issues were annoying me. I wanted to try it as a pain reliever. My friend had a good pain strain. It was amazing and I got some CBD oil and my whole body came to life. I felt like a new person. So for the last 6 months it has been amazing to start living life again. The issue pending is its not legal here. We've had to make runs to get amounts needed to help us function (friends and me) this has created some "bickering", to the point where fighting has happened. I decided last night after a incident its no longer worth it for me to argue and fight with friends over this (they are also fighting amongst each other). I am angry that in this in this day and age, we have to fight over this. Im just disappointed that I am expected to be drugged up with opioids (which is now a national crisis) and something that can help me is a crime and is causing fights and problems between people. Im just tired and sick of all this.. If moving was a option I would in a split second.. However it doesn't solve.. Are things any better in life?