Something for all the guys in the forums...

Well, I'm a guy who's dated a fair amount of women, so I think I'm the opposite of someone who should be giving a female advice on dating ( I mean, a girl friend would be better), but I'll try.

First, how many guys do you approach? If you're approaching one every week, that's really not enough to get a good feel for the guys. Have you taken the time to look around when you're talking to him and question what it might be that you're doing wrong? I mean, are you saying interesting things? Are you asking him about himself, or are you simply just walking up to him, asking him his name and then going off on a tangent about yourself and your life? If it's not going anywhere, there's a better chance that one person or another is being completely boring or uncomfortable, more than a chance that one of the people involved isn't the other person's type.

 

Well, I'm pretty shy, so talking about myself more is not something I do unless he asks me questions. I hope I sound interesting, but now that I look at it, maybe it's just a string of really bad luck. I hope I didn't burden u, but u seem nice & I just like getting other people's opinions-u know-like an outsider's point of view. Btw, if u look on the thread "I finally Scanned Pictures" I'm the 1 sitting down, not the asian girl. I mention this because many times I wonder if my looks have something 2 do with all this.

 

No, you didn't burden me at all. Sometimes I feel (pseudo)intellectual and powerful when people ask me for advice. lol Until my head shrinks again.

I'll check out your picture and get back you ya, but I'm sure it's not your looks.

::You're gorgeous to me, but I've always loved Asian girls. You said "I'm not the Asian", lol you're both Asian. You really don't look 24, but I don't look nearly 20, so you know, you work with your young looks, play the hand you're dealt and whatnot. Nice picture, though.::

The best part about looking 15-16 when you're 20? Adults will be condescending to you, assuming you're a mindless, teen-angst driven teenager, and you'll have the opportunity to dwarf them in an argument and watch the suprise grow in thier face! Always good for a kick.

 

Yeah, maybe I'm just meeting the wrong guys...

 

Yeah, probably so. It's also a lot harder to meet guys and have them "stick", if you will, when you meet them by yourself. Meeting people through a larger circle of friends generally yields the best guys/girls. Not saying you should date your friends, or even thier close friends, but within that larger circle. If you live in California (I used to live there myself), you're bound to be able to find that larger circle if you don't already have it. Meeting guys on the street isn't an hopeless endeavor, but it surely yields less results. Are you out of college, or still in college or what are you up to right now?

 

Well, I'm taking a class 4 Spanish in the Workplace, but mainly undecided when it comes 2 education.

 

Well, college is the place to meet people. I mean, different races and nationalities, and personalities. What kind of guy do you look for? A lot of times a girl's "ideal guy" completely puts into perspective the reasons for her problems finding a man.

 

I find myself attracted 2 guys that look somewhat comletely opposite of me...long hair, doesn't really matter what eye color, I guess they're called pretty boys, but they're a little on the odd side. Sense of humor, artistic, poetic and intelligent. I also have a thing 4 guys in a band.

 

haha, okay, so you're into whiney Emo dudes. That's not as bad as being into an intellectually void beach "pretty boys" who'd rather look at thier six-pack in the mirror than your body. That's when you know you're approaching the wrong dudes.

You like guys in a band? Really? I would have never guessed. lol Join the club with about every other woman on the planet. Honestly, when we play a Stones cover, I've got 'em all over me. It's a good way to work it, but hey, I didn't do music for that reason. I guess it's a bit sad that I'm simply the Keith Richards they could get, but I'm not too worried about that. lol

You should go to liberal arts school. You'll meet a lot of guys like you're looking for, although I think most women are into an artist, whether he be a poet, a painter, a musician or all three. You're in the majority there, so competition will always be pretty strong for that type of guy. No woman wants a boring, creatively, culturally, intellectually void guy. Not unless he's great looking, and she's just about the same way he is.

 

hahaha, you're right. I guess u could say the two in my sig are a hint as well though...

 

heh, yeah, there were guys offering themselves up to Jim. He was the golden god of the time. Sort of like Jagger and Plant. Barrett I'm not so sure about. I don't remember seeing him off stage in videos or anything, but I'm sure he did well with women. Musicians do that to women. There's that aura of mystery, even though they don't realize that musicians are just as uncool as everyone else. heh We all said and did stupid shit in high school.

 

Yeah, I agree, I don't know why they do that, but they do. I just like Jim & Syd's music & I think they're cute. I guess the reason girls like band guys is they hope they'll be their muse & they'll write songs about them. Plus if they make it big, they'll b in the history books. At least that's how I see it.

 

I think men or women should do whatever they want. I dont think you can leave it up to one sex to be the initiator. I mean, I think its silly to generalize men to be the ones to have to approach someone, and that goes for women too..
If someone catches your eye, and if you want to talk to them, then go do it, dont wait until they do, that could be never
Or give a wave or a thumbs up, a wink, something, maybe they will come over to you then

 

I think in most cases I will ask the girl out, but really in the 21st century women know what they want and they should go for it. I think they do even, most times girls do the first move. I think it's attractive it depends on the chemistry and the way she does it. I think I might even like that better I am shy ... when it comes to feelings... but not when it comes to everythign else... go figure

 

some "experts" say should be the guy. but what if the guy has crashed and burned to many times that rejection feels like a knife through the heart. do these so called experts know how this can make a room full of people feel empty, make you feel hollow and alone. sometimes feel ridiculed and scorned as yet another door closes,another page turns as he crashes and burns. How big can a small room feel

 

no longer do i ask or do i get asked

 

How sad... Racing doesn't get girls interested in you?

 

Still get them but thats only cos of the care free party life style we have when riders get together.some are to shallow like the disposable society we live they are the same with feelings.. nothing has ever been to much trouble for me to do for the women i know or have shared (although for short time) my life.I am still willing to lay down my life protecting them. These last few years i have crashed and burned ,each time the flames more consuming ,taking longer to extinguish. i seem to give yet never take .the way a club full of people feels so empty and cold hurts.

 

I think it should go both ways. I think the reason either sex is reluctant to ask someone out is that they are afraid of rejection. Anyway, it is nice to now a girl is confident enough to approach you, and even if I'm not interested, I'm still flattered.

I've gotten dates both ways.

PEace

 

i rekon it should be able to go either way