Someone Help, He Gets Frustrated

Can someone please help me?

I have been with my boyfriend for a bit over a year and he'll get frustrated with me for no reason and will get all silent, not talk to me about it.
Now people have suggested that we maybe spending too much time together...but really i have no contact with him for 4 days a week!

Whats going on?

Help

-Charli

 

he may be a bit like me, needs someone to ask whats wrong, sometimes ask a coupel times, before he feels like he can open up and talk about whats bothering him. or else he doesnt want to be spoken to, hard to say without us knowing him. either way, his communication skills suck

 

If its an ongoing thing then I would say something else is going on. It could be all kind of things, try to get him to talk about it. If not then decide if you want to live with it because it probably isn't going to go away the longer you are together.

 

Never heard of a man being that way but it's true for me too sometimes. I figure, if he doesn't care enough to ask ,then obviously he doesn't care (flawed thinking, I know). If I'm really in a mood I might need him to ask me a couple times just to prove he really wants to know, or it just might take me that long to get the confidence to tell him.

Before the guys jump on me I know I should just tell him, but us females tend to be complicated, and sometimes we want to see you men make an effort

flame away

 

No offense but that would suck to be with a guy like that...if I wanted all of that 'oh nothing's wrong=oh yes there is but I am going to make you guess and tourture you with the silent treatment' kinda drama I would become a lesbian.

 

do you never do that belle? I wish I didn't and I have gotten ALOT better at just being open (though he seems to hate that too, I think at times he'd prefer the silent treatment lol) but there is something about this and females. If not all of us. some.

 

Thanks so much everyone for all your help!


But seriously...i ask and ask and ask and ask
and all that happens is he gets shittier and shittier.
Its really annoying!
But i love him, i just wish he didn't have so many moods!

-Charli

 

No, i don't do that. I'm easy. If you ask me if I am mad I'll usually start crying and let it all out and then laugh and everything's better. i don't like games and I won't date people who play them because I am worth too much to waste my time like that. If I or someone I am with wants to power struggle like that it's a huge indication that things aren't going to work out and after all of my mistakes I've learned when somone plays games it's not because of insecurity-that's only part of it. It's mostly because they do not value you enough to be easy on your feelings and emotions.

 

rrrrrr I don't know. Maybe he is scared or doesn't know how to voice what he is feeling. You should talk to him sometime when he is not frustrated or upset and tell him how you feel. Make sure he know how much you care for him and that he can tell you can anything no matter what and next time he gets like that tell him you love him and its ok to talk to you and you will still feel the same.

 

I never tell my lady when im upset... I let her guess... And she can usually figure it out over time... Because if i have to tell her its not worth it, she changes everything for me, and I would rather have her be herself... Then have her conform just to make me happy...

 

thats the other side of the perspective of what Belle was trying to say, only she saw it negatively to be like that.

I'm just pointing out it's amazing people's different perspectives, and for one person it's a matter of not playing mind games and opening yourself up first, and for the other it's a matter of having their partner care enough to donote their energy to find out. I completely understand both sides. I'm somewhere in the middle.

I wonder how my man see's things. But if I ask him I hear "I don't know". lol and now I'm beginning to relieaze he really doesn't know. Some people don't even think about this shit!! or care. ::shruggs:: we're all different.

All I can say is I hope he opens up to you, but there's no garuntee he will. If he's like my man he doesn't even think about it, and just acts. Us girls will drive ourselves crazy trying to figure out what they can't even.

 

I agree... My lady goes insane and asks me everyday for the past 9 months why I love her... And I just cant give her an answer... She just needs to understand that I love her.. point blank.

As for the thread... I dont kno if most guys are like myself. But i would rather have my lady figure out the problem herself if im upset... I just get quite and i don't say shit... It drives her insane, But like i said if she cant figure it out then whats the point in me telling her? But my lady will do anything for me, and i dont always like it, I just want her to be and act herself. And if i tell her the problem or why she pissed me off, she completaly changes and will never do whatever she did to upset me, she will never do it again, And i mean never... And I dont want that, I dont want her to ever change for me... I want her to be and act herself. Maybe your man is on the same boat... IDK. But this 'silent treatment" that some of you people speak of sometimes its done for a legit reason... Look at the situation objectively.

 

I didn't mean it as I don't care enough to find out, but rather I would have a hard time dating someone who cared about me so little that he ignored me and made me guess what was wrong. I wouldn't have any respect for him after that.

A real man takes responsiblity for his feelings and lovingly makes who he is with take responsibility for their actions...he doesn't withhold attention and make you feel ignored and like you are not worth him taking the time out to fix whatever went wrong and he definitley shouldn't get out of control angry.
I don't understand guys like this who are okay with having no control over their relationship.

 

oh crap, I so just pulled that on my gf today.

she got a little upset "stop being so difficult, I KNOW something is wrong, so you might as well say it."

 

sometimes guys need what is called 'guy time'. they just want to be left alone from the world.

the woman is suppossed to let the man go into his cave and do his man things. i dont mean masterbate but you might could think of it that way. noone can satisfy a mans desire to have man time. not even a woman. that is all/

 

sometimes needing space is very different from a complete and utter inability to communicat e your problems/issues/annoyances/frustrations to your partner. one is reasonable and normal and human, the other is a death sentence for a realtionship waiting to happen

 

I dunno...have you tried NOT asking? I'm not being a smartass, by the way.

 

Then you are letting him disrespect you. People can only treat you as bad as you let them. Truely you don't need this kind of crap dragging you down, just move on. Work on the self-confidence.

 

communication is key if you want to know whats the problem ask him and if your not satisfied keep on him until he is honest.

 

that's a great idea...let's castrate all of our boyfriends by treating them like our girlfriends...

I'm with the above poster...leave him unless this is really rare for him and he is going through heavy stuff. Move onto someone who isn't into mind-fucking you.