Some Advice Would Be Much Appreciated!

About 3 and a half years I met a beautiful soul named Draya. She was everything I could have wanted in a partner and more. She made me feel good about myself and like nothing could ever go wrong. We dated for about 2 and a half years and I even proposed. Which is weird cause I don't believe in marriage, but I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. And obviously the feeling was mutual because about a year ago she broke up with me cause she cheated and got pregnant with someone else's kid (she didn't tell me till she was showing and I noticed) and wanted to be with him. We started talking again about half a year ago when my mom died and it seemed like we were gonna be together again, I didn't care she had a kid, I was happy. And yet again she went back to him, she's now officially out of my life and the point of this story is, now that she's gone, I don't know how to move on. I haven't dated anyone since her and I broke up and my confidence is extremely low at this point. Does anyone have any advice?

 

That is rough. I am not so good with giving advice, hopefully someone else will reply soon! Am sure it'll take some time, but I would keep myself busy, give yourself plenty of distractions, keep good company with friends. Good luck.

 

You've made the first couple of steps, you've acknowledged that she's out of your life now and you've made an effort, maybe subconsciously, towards moving on by writing your post!
It will take time, but try to not dwell on "what might have been", get active & socialise, there really is someone out there for you, I know, that's how I found the love of my life after splitting from my first husband.

 

Step one: don't worry about how to move on. Time can be cruel, but time is also the best healer.

 

^ This.

You won't have it figured out. You don't have to. Just live your life as best as you can, and let time work out the rest.

It's okay that you're hurting now, and you may find that you hurt for a long while yet. You're a human being. You're allowed to hurt.

Oh, and be kind to yourself, even when others aren't.

You will survive this. You really will.

 

You say she's out of your life this time. If she comes back and things develop again, ask her to ask the other guy about having a polyamorous lifestyle/family. I'm serious. Sometimes it's a great solution to romantic entanglements that run this deep.

 

I'm not all about the whole sharing thing. I'm a very monogamous guy when it comes to relationships. Sexually, I couldn't give a fuck (haha, I made a funny) but when it comes to someone I love, I get jealous easy.

 

Okay. Just a thought.

 

Oh, I understand and I appreciate the suggestion

 

More Advice: Dont like your own posts

 

You can DO that!?!? :yikes:

Oh wow, you can!

 

Like most of the comments here, I agree.. it takes time. You are basically grieving the death of a relationship.

Try to keep busy, meet other people (not for looking for a new relationship) of all kinds and types. Go places, try new things, make a bucket list.

Eventually, the pain will ease and then you will be able to move on.

 

I agree with Annwyn'bri, Grieving takes time. Let time be your friend.

 

I've been through this with my ex-wife and the #1 thing that I made sure I did moving forward was......don't make your next partner pays for the crimes of your last. I know it becomes easy to be suspicious and notice little things that make you wonder. With my ex, it became a daily thing to notice things that were almost clues to what she did that day. Once that was over, I knew I had to shake that off if I wanted to be happy in the future.

 

she's a stupid ****, be glad you didn't marry her. she broke up with you because SHE cheated .. what a worthless piece of trash!

 

Now you're alone, you have more time to spend on yourself. Learn things, read books, exercise, develop new skills. When you take care of your brain and body, the probability you'll feel good about yourself and send that message to people you meet is high.

Take care.

 

you will love again, trust me.