Social awkwardness

1 or 2. I tend to mesh with people very easily.

If at a function and someone seems left out or secluded I usually approach and engage them in conversation. I have had some really great conversations that way.

 

I followed the Dead. I like large crowds, but not small gatherings..

 

Generally, I look down at their chest and talk about the weather, and every now and then slip and say 'boobs' instead of 'clouds.' :biggrin:

And it depends. Most of the time I'm in my element and conversation flows really easy. Really busy places like nightclubs or concerts, my add goes crazy I can have a hard time paying attention to people. Because of that inattention, I feel kinda awkward.

Normally a 3 and outside my element probably around a 6 or a 7.

 

4
depends what mood im in really, im better now i stopped all the drinking, i still avoid social situations most of the time

 

You should move to Russia : )
Their saying is "only an idiot smiles all the time".
Its a reference to the fakenss of smiling (eg in customer service) in places like the US. Russians communicate with various gestures(esp facial), but dont believe in forced smiles.

If I find something funny, I can burst out laughing with someone just by using the eyes, and non-smiling before laughing. In other words, your face can communicate without your mouth even moving from a frown. Surgeons do it when their mouths are covered with masks.

Mediterraneans have this way of smiling and calling some "****" with their eyes.

 

99

 

You say that like we should be surprised that a female exists that tries to do the talking for everyone

 

I read an interesting article the other day about how being shy is not the same as being introverted. It made a lot of sense to me. I've always been painfully shy but I've never really fit in with the definition of introversion. I like being by myself once every couple of weeks to recharge my batteries but other than that I don't like being alone at all. I draw my energy from being around people and I really enjoy being around people, I just don't always know what to say to them. I'm most comfortable around people that understand I'm just naturally a quiet person and that I'm more of an activity person rather than a conversational person. I really only like having conversations with people I've known for a really long time or people I really click with intellectually.

I don't really enjoy large crowds of strangers at all but I like large gatherings with friends rather than small intimate gatherings. I feel really awkward at small dinner parties but when a big group of my weird ass friends get together I really enjoy it. I don't feel pressured to make awkward small talk all night. I can be weird and dance by myself in a corner and no one thinks anything of it, or I can run from group to group and crack jokes and leave when the conversation feel stifled.

There isn't much I hate more in life than awkward, forced small talk.

 

In group settings where the conversation is going nowhere, I often get stuck with the job of bringing it back to life. It really isn't hard at all. Most people love to talk about themselves and their own opinions, so all you have to do is ask questions. They will think you are very friendly and a great conversationalist, even they won't be able to quote any points that you made.

A true friend is somebody who wants to ask you questions, and pay attention to the answers. Those people are rare.

 

this got me thinking about small talk and how fake it can be
it feels empty most times unless it's with (using the term Karen just mentioned) a "true friend"...

when a random person asks me "how are you?"... I know I'm just supposed to respond with "good," but it doesn't feel right at all..

Life is complicated. It often isn't good. And answering with a simple "good" leaves out so many details. So I get awkward when people ask me how I am and I almost want to tell them how I really am but I know they don't want to hear it..

lol, even when I go order a coffee or go through the drive thru for a burrito or something, I'll get asked how I am and I pause for a moment, and very much want to say "Well, I woke up this morning and it has been horrible. My blood sugar is high, I didn't get enough sleep. So I thought I'd come to order a coffee. Getting here felt like an obstacle course. People drive like shit. I got cut off twice"...etc, etc, etc.

But I stop myself because I think I'd make things really awkward...

 

I said most people, not everybody. :toetap05:

Yeah, so much of it is a waste, but what can you do? It's a part of life, and business. And sometimes, a real conversation evolves from it!

 

Maybe a 6? I'm very shy naturally. I'm afraid of making social blunders. Inwardly I have a friendly disposition toward people but making myself smile and make friendly conversation is difficult. I'm working on it though and I am a lot less socially awkward than I once was. It's frustrating though. I want to hug people and be affectionate but more times than not I am too shy to not be awkward about it. haha Something to improve upon I suppose. :daisy:

 

You guys have small talks in the drive through? I thought that was just for ordering and go Yeah you can't tell your life story (or day story for that matter) in most cases when some stranger in a shop asks you how you are They just want to be polite and inform if you are good or not so good at the moment. The polite answer is to just say you're good, the honest answer would be not so good and is also sometimes appreciated, if not the person who asks is to blame for asking And you could also go into detail about it which is the annoying answer almost always. I don't think it is handy to regard it as fake, more as politeness/just a custom. Although it certainly can come in different gradations, if they overdo it with a seriously fake smile etc. yes than it is hard to regard it as something else than fake. In the end thinking too much how to handle these 'fake behaviours' and people probably makes up for one awkward looking person most of the time. Accepting that most of the time everyone has a lot in common with you regarding feelings, emotions and certain behaviour on the other hand helps getting on with eachother in my humble opinion (and experience).

 

yeah
I'm going to start using unsuspecting drive thru employees as my personal therapists...

ermm

 

so I also do this awkward thing where I'm way too sarcastic..and some people have a hard time figuring out if I'm joking or not..
Sarcasm doesn't always work so well in groups because it goes over some people's heads...and sarcasm loses it's effect if you have to explain it and then if you explain the joke to someone and they still don't get it then it gets awkward (speaking from experience) which leads me to this meme that I think describes me well-

 

When your sarcasm is not understood by anyone it is probably not as advanced as you think

 

sigh.


I didn't even say that.
what I said was, some people have a hard time figuring out if I'm joking or not..
Sarcasm doesn't always work so well in groups..
I didn't say nobody understands my sarcasm.

 

When I have one or two of those smilies behind my post it means I was just kidding.

 

You are forgiven