Social awkwardness

no comment..
in fear of making this thread incredibly awkward

 

Some people just have a certain "look" to them. The only time people are ever intimated by me, is when they come at me in a way I don't like. There's nothing wrong with having a tough exterior though. Try to smile more.

 

oh god. you guys are staring at me, aren't you??

 

I don't smile enough. But smiling seems so fake sometimes. It's like why smile if there isn't a reason to smile? It seems like one of those conditioned things we're supposed to just do so people will like us and not find us threatening.

 

Could be. I'm sure being hard on yourself afterwards makes it harder.

I always find I know what I "want" to express. Sometimes I betray those thoughts and that's actually when social sitautions turn difficult.

OFC there are times where I just can't be fucked to be expressive and confident, but paying close attention to that 1st real confident thought you want to express and DOING IT BY ALL MEANS, always seems to lead to a more smooth interaction.

It only takes the first couple two utterances too before the other person sees this real-ness and returns the favor.


at least, that's how I do it when I'm not being quiet.


Don't say things because you feel you need to say something. Say things because, a strong opinion congruent to your ego came up RELATIVE TO THAT PRECISE MOMENT IN CONVERSATION.

I guarantee if that's what you let out, things will go very smooth for you. You are offering your real perspective and people will naturally see that and offer theirs.

hehe :sunny: socializing can be fun accomplishing but also you miss some days.

Hmmm. again. Always better to confidently do you than flop trying to play some norm that you're not. I don't doubt it comes off or feels awkward and struggling for you.

Really, if you have common sense, and you don't just grab-ass mid conversation, just do... you... bra.

 

I don't think it's conditioned as much as natural response for me. If someone makes eye contact with me and I want them to know I'm approachable, it's just what happens.

 

1 or 2

 

I love talking to people and socialising.Part if my problem is I don't get enough of that kind of stimulus these days.I'm doing a week long painting summer school this week and am having no problems relating to people and starting conversations.I think I have a quiet inner confidence around people that has only developed as the years have gone by.But I find it hard to talk to stupid people or people with shallow life experiences.I'm not judging anyone by saying that,but I get on much better with crazy weirdos.it's all about wavelength.Also,I've learnt that when engaging with others,it's okay to say very little if the conversation doesn't interest you,and that silence can be a kind of power in and of itself.Let the others make fools of themselves and then chip in with something original when the conversation swings round to something your interested in.Here's an admission,and I'm sure I'm not the only one,but I often casually talk to myself and kind of imagine myself with other people.What would they think?What would they say?This can be good practise for developing your character.Sure,there's a party in my head...

 

I seem to only mesh well with weirdos too. "Normal" people freak me out..and bore me.

 

I wanted to elaborate more on this. When I said normal people freak me out, I guess I mean, I tend to be more socially awkward around people that are into normal things like sports or reality tv (can't come up with better examples at the moment) and so I tend to stay quiet around them because I feel I can't relate to them and these subjects bore me. If I said my opinion about these mainstream things, I would probably just confuse the person and get weird looks from them. I tend to be sarcastic and not everyone understands my sense of humor.

Now, if I'm around another weirdo, I feel comfortable. I can be myself and talk about all sorts of off the wall things..

 

Yeah, I am definitely more comfortable around weird people, but I find that too often when people are weird, they're too weird even for me. Or they're weird in a way that's vastly different from my own unique weirdness. I don't like people who go out of the way to present themselves as weird, or embellish their weirdness any more than necessary.

 

agreed, if theres one thing i can't stand, its self-conscious spontaneity. like "look at me being spontaneous!" the minute you decide to be spontaneous, you aren't being. you're just performing.

example; this gonk.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pb0BcRlq7uw"]February 2013 Anchor Episode - YouTube

 

There are two kinds of people in the world: those who admit they are weird, and those who lie about it.

 

3 or 4...i've improved.

now i just say shit that comes up in my head...i figured that's what everyone else was doing and it seems to work out in most cases.

 

I feel like the term "socially awkward" is cultural. In America, being introverted is certainly looked down upon. In Asian cultures, it is considered a virtue to be quiet and reserved. Why is introversion so vilified in America?

 

Sometimes it is useful to have another person to go to public events with who is social. It's a way of easing oneself into the public arena instead of trying to do it completely alone.

Being in public settings that have activities that one is comfortable with helps. If one is good at dancing, then dancing events are easier. If one likes weight lifting, then a public setting that involves weight lifting is easier.

Public performance is sometimes used by therapists to help people who are shy or socially awkward. The young musician in the following video was very shy in puhlic. Her parents got her involved in public music performance and it solved the issue she had with shyness. Her expertise in music became a way of projecting herself onto public settings.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1-Zx6uKbR4"]Almira Fawn - YouTube

 

Because introversion leads the uniformed to believe you either have something to hide or you think you’re better than everyone else.


hotwater

 

interesting observation
I've always been quiet and reserved, since I was a child and I have always had to explain my "behavior" to people. I finally accepted that I'm introverted and I still can't understand why being quiet or "shy" is seen as such a bad thing. I think I tend to only speak if I have something very important to say. People who talk constantly tend to get on my nerves.

 

I'm an introvert and don't like being around a lot of people and yet I have a very active social life, I'm always being invited to clubs, parties, shows, etc. Sometimes when I'm out I can't wait till things are over so I can get away from everybody and be alone. Even when I have my own parties and people are having a good time, all I want is everybody to leave. Strange but true.

 

I'm a 3 or 4. It's easy for me to build rapport, and in general I am witty. I'm also an open book, so putting myself out there tends to put people at ease.