Soccer moms?

Good cover, boosh... No one will ever guess your secret....

 

I know. I'm like a spy. Very cunning

 

Over here, it's seen as a girls' sport. And by extension, you'd expect the Democrat leaning, minivan driving, my child is an honor student type Martha Stewart wannabe to be having her boys playing it too. Must make sure that Conor or Hunter or Spencer or whatever the frig his name is doesn't turn out to be a menace. (as in Dennis, dig?)

Over here baseball, hockey and basketball are boys' sports and soccer is, well, something girls play so they don't get hurt.

Over in the UK rounders, hockey and netball are girls' sports, and soccer is the manly sport.

The fact that people in soccer regularly dive towards the ground or trip over a ray of sunshine and cry like they've broken their leg to try and draw a penalty is a further sign of the core effeminacy of soccer players. Ditto their hair and the fact that they're 90 pound weakling europoofs.

 

i started taking my daughter to gymnastic classes and such. definitely the soccer mom types there. they wouldn't even talk to me. but i totally hit it off with a couple ladies from texas. i love ladies from texas, they're so...loud.

i managed to get dave to take kai to her swim lessons by scheduling them with the hottest college girl swim instructor. he never complained once. and even told me i should schedule her for private lessons. for kai, of course.

 

EUROPOOFS!!

my studly lil' bro plays soccer.

 

You're the perfect wife.

 

i know. it's a little scary, isn't it? i suck at keeping the laundry done, though. dave considers it a fair swap.

 

Come on, KC, look at pro soccer players. Five foot two, tons of grease on their heads, riding pathetic motor scooters...

 

"is that a VESPA?!! EEEK! it's so cute!!"

i think that only works in la, though.

dalzell's becoming a surfer anyway. chicks dig surfers. if only he gave a flying fuck. you can't blame the poor boy. he's been henpecked by my mother, me and jocelyn his whole life. he may just go totally asexual.

 

Yeah. It happens.

 

My friend! I don't know what soccer matches you've been watching but that ain't the way we do in England. I don't know about in the States but there's no 5'2", 90 pound weaklings in our game. If you would get over your ignorance and actually watch the game you'd realize, It ain't the worlds most popular sport for nothing and if you think American football's so tough try playing Rugby where there's no such thing as pads!

 

my dad played rugby, was a ref, too. now that's a good time. but i'm afraid to tell you that most of the male soccer players here are girly and pretty.

 

Well, I caught City's victory over Man U in the Derby recently. I also caught the Bolton Wanderers playing City as well, if I remember. I support Man U cause it's smack dab between where me mam and me da were born, and it was for the longest time the only team whose games you could get this side of the pond. Or I support the Wanderers. I am typically glued to a premiership highlights programme that airs once a week, some excellent goaltending and goal scoring bits I might add. For most of the 90s I caught just about every game given that I wanted to see King Eric, Giggs and Co. in action, and replayed the infamous Kung Fu Kick many a time.

I'm not sure about Man U anymore now they were bought by that Yank but I refuse to join a Chelsea or Arsenal bandwagon. I'll probably stick with the Reds and sideline Wanderers affiliation.

Gimme a goddamn break. Coat Ryan Giggs in sweat and you double his weight. I'd imagine Fowler isn't that much bigger either. Keep in mind we watch games featuring players that are well over two hundred pounds - either the colossi that play basketball (seen Shaquille O'Neal?) and American Football - three hundred and some odd pounds of pure meat.

Rugby is a game in which it's considered an actual playing technique to shove your finger into the rectum of another player. No thanks. If I wanted to cuddle a bunch of other men, I'd be honest about it and go all Daffyd.

As for the world's most popular sport, the Premiership is all I'll watch, every time I see some whiny little Diego pretending to have been crippled by tripping on a sunbeam or what have you it makes me violently ill. Ditto players who talk about themselves in the third person. Both football quirks, albeit foreign ones.

 

some of my violent soccer memories:

-breaking a kids ankle - no punishment, was a legal tackle
-putting a kid on a stretcher for almost kicking me in the head - only recieved a yellow card

some of the injuries i've played through:

hamstring tear(s)
broken collar bone
broken ribs
sprained ankle

 

sounds like my mom's softball days...

 

soccer moms.......

my take........

they are all yuppie women, usually in their 30s-40s, who drive their children around to soccer practice and meets in a mini-van, or more recently, SUVs. they have no reason to drive an SUV around, except to get over those speed bumps in the local mall.... they all are cliquey, and will protect their children to the end.... no matter how bad they suck...... they have to yell at the coaches and the referrees just so that their child doesnt get picked on or left out

 

Fair enough IronGoth, you know a bit about it. But not every player is built like Ryan Giggs or Michael Owen, you get rejected by teams for being too small. Wayne Rooney is as built and as tough as they come. The thing is I play soccer regularly and I don't take injuries every week to be told my sports full of poofs. If you watch soccer and follow it, you'll realize that, that kind of thing doesn't really have a place anywhere near the sport. Soccer's full of entertaining moments like Cantonas kung fu kick, lol. And as for that Rugby remark, I don't watch it but was just pointing out that it's tougher than American Football, I think I heard about that incident you mentioned and I'm sure it happened in Australia not England and I'm sure it was a one off. Anyway peace.

 

Soccer is nowhere near as dangerous as Bingo. Now there's a tough sport. no 90 pound weaklings there, and watch out for granny's purse, it packs quite a wallop!

 

Usually a lady with some kids, desperate for a little lovin'.

Aren't we all though.

 

YOU'RE a lady with kids desperate for lovin'? shit, i'm totally disillusioned but WAY more attracted to you now...