So what happend after...?

last night was saturday. and cause we werent doing any drugs we were just gonna drink and go to this small sort of nightclub. anyway we drank heaps before we went, i drank absinthe, we allways used to drink the shit and id allways be sweet.
however, i was ok for a while, and without even drinking any more, my mind snapped. i wasnt allowed in the club, there like "i dont know what drugs youve taken, but your not coming in tonght". my friend rekons i was walking around talking to my self, and they rekon i looked like the guy from fear and loathing just after they sniffed the either. at this point my frame of mind was 'together'. we kinda left back to the car where im sure i heard one of my friends use the word schisophrenic and mental, and my mind just snapped. i started having some scary 'psychotic tendencies" , i was off in another world talking to myself saying "im not mental, im not mental, over and over and all this other shit (thats what my friends have told me) , where i needed to be restrained almost from just being so mental. my friends said they were scared and in a way didnt know what to do, but felt like if it didnt let up id have to go to a mental asylum.
i could litteraly feel my mind collapse and go mental, i was a raving mental lunatic.
it was a sort of "whole perspective shift"

so now i cant even go out and drink socially with friends anymore cause im too fucking mental. thats how it feels. i am confident it will subside with time and i will once again be able to enjoy alchole.
everyone learns different lessons from taking acid, and what i saw last night, which was a direct result from taking acid, is scary enough for me and my friends to not want to take acid again.
me and my friends always new if any one of us was to get a bit psychotic it would be me first. i had to be thrown in the car and carried out of the car. raving lunatic talkin to myself tried to get away take the car. its not much fun.

now i know most of yous are gonna respond with posts like, i told you so and shit like that. and you know your probably right. but everyone has to go thro shit themselves, and learn from their own mistakes, its just the way it is
my friends were scared for me, being mental isnt fun. and taking acid risking some permanent mental illness would not be too fun either.
so for me no drugs and not even any alchole for a good month then ill try.

from the majority of the population, acid is just a drug, that makes you weird and shit. all the rest is just individual philisiphical shit.

 

peterpopper its not the lsd, its the ALCOHOL> its the ALCOHOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

peter, you really need to learn to speak for yourself

 

whats that sapose to mean?
that comment feels irrelevant to me.

 

i know that you have been told many times peter... but you really do have to listen to this...

it is your fault not the acid... for the last time take responsibility for your own actions. you do not respect LSD for what it is and you never did. that is why you suffer!

like i said, people like you give LSD a bad reputation. please stop using this wonderful drug before you wind up in the nut house giving everyone you know a reason to disrespect LSD.

drugs like alcohol and cocaine are more your style.

 

seriously man. youre fuckin up. get youre shit under control. im not even saying its the drugs. you just gotta fuckin chilllllll.

 

that was in resonse to you saying that the majority who take acid simply "get weird"

 

" get weird " from all the "others" perspectives

can you honestly say those here you take lsd, cant say that people who dont take drugs that know you, dont think your weird or beyond weird?

the mind has various ways to cope thro various situations, and one way to cope is the brain to tell itself that this influx of tripped out thoughts its just insane, cause there is to much to cope, maybe after some time when the brain is sweet, the thoughts will come in again in a way that they did when lsd is used rarely.

i think its good to experience the drug in a variety of ways, i may have taken a few to many trips to close in time, but its the experience, i now have the experience of doing that, and im sure have learnt alot from it. so nothing is wasted or lost.
im not sure why i am even posting here anymore. what am i talking about

 

ah i see. the context of it showed me otherwise.

dude you really need to take up meditating. i know its one of those things that you might say you will do, but still not do, kind of like a diet or quitting ciggarettes or any drug,
but you NEED to.
your happiness may depend on it.

 

take up writing. it seems like you have alot on you're mind and you write about it here quite often. maybe start a blog? a way to get thoughts out of you're head.

 

i do have a couple of places i sometimes write.

i have a book under the seet of my car, which i write in every time i take acid. its got some strange and itneresting things in.

iv got some other digital way of writing a few things, but dont get round to it much. most of the time, if i wrote a trip report of somthing worth while on this site, i would copy it into my digital thingy.
i have had that digital thing for years now, since the first day i tried meth in grade 10. so 3-4 years of stuff.
and im glad i have it, alot of expericnes and memories i would otherwise be unable to remember, or remember at the level i can with it.

writing things down forces your brain to come up with a logical line of sentence that hopefully makes sense, instead of the other, im sure you can imagine.

one strange thing i have come to notice now, is my extremely altered sense of time.
things that happend yesterday, feel like they happened weeks ago, quite litteraly.
my friend came over the other night (the day after we went out, mind you i slept at his house and chatted all morning with him), and im like what, when did we go out, was that last night? absolutly no way in the world does it feel like i saw him that morning.
having a couple days off work and going back, was like these people are almost strangers to me, feels like its your first day again, im sure iv been not myself.
actually it is and does almost feel like im just writing in the sense that im not talking to anyone, not in that im not, but in that it feels like the sort of crap you could write in a diary or somthing, anyway, now it feels strange to write, so cya

 

yeah the whole time thing will happen. i used to be sitting in the shower and forget how long id been in the shower haha. itll gradually come back. nothing to worry about there. what you have to worry about is how you percieve thing things. you can chill and ride it out. or you can worry and itll just make it worse.

 

peter popper, please try to understand what i am trying get through to you.

as long as you see LSD as a drug that makes you weird you will continue to get stranger and stranger with every trip. it is like you want to be weird or something. and to answer your question - no, most people do not think i am weird. people usually find me to be a very gentle person with a different perspective on life. i guess when we get older we start to be more ok with the fact that not everyone thinks alike. there are so many perspectives in the world that you would be a fool to think that anyone is weird for thinking differently. they are a unique individual unlike any other and that is healthy. what is happening to you is unique to you - you are making all of your friends think that you have lost it or gone weird. this could be for many different reasons - you could be acting like a complete fool and embarrassing everyone or maybe you are a different person now and they are having troubles accepting you. i don't know cuz i wasn't there.

i think it is very dangerous for you to continue using LSD if you do not first change the way you look at the whole experience. i think you could do some more reading - have you read 'be here now' by ram dass yet? have you read the psychedelic experience by timothy leary yet? http://www.erowid.org/library/books_online/psychedelic_experience/psychedelic_experience.shtml

give yourself a break from psychedelic drugs for a few months, do some reading and start meditating. if you can not somehow find reason to believe that LSD is a wonderful tool for self discovery and consciousness expansion you might want to consider another drug. if you are just looking for a good high try cocaine, ecstasy, or alcohol. LSD must be respected and used with a purpose other than to get high and fucked up.

 

if your looking for my trip report look under the thread "shrooms are the best" in the magic mushroom subforum.

after this trip i drastically reduced the amount of pot i smoked. it almost gave me a sense that pot was a waste of money. i still buy pot, but not like i used to. the trip definatly changed my way of thinking. it got me to straighten up a bit, but it also got rid of some of the anxiety i had about growing up, moving out, etc.

before the trip, i was always worried about what would happen when i grow up. i evaluated my life in the past months and realised that the amount of pot i was smoking was the cause to just about every problem i faced (don't give me the bullshit that it wasn't, because for the past month i've used it sparingly, and feel better than i ever have).

it also showed me how much more their is to life than just pot smoking. when i looked outside after 3 hours of a bad trip, i swear my life changed right there. tears were streaming down my face, but it suddenly turned into a smile. when i saw how beautiful nature is, i went into bliss.

i'm thinking of taking my next trip on LSD, out at my camp. i need a place where no one will be around me, and i will be free to do whatever i want. it should be fun. i'll have a snowmachine, and a bit of pot

 

Life is about focus, applied conscious will. Thats why life exists.
If you let your mind just float and go with the flow. Then it will.
Not to say doing that is wrong. But your given the ability to will
your energy consciously for a reason. As long as it's being willed
in alignment with greater flow, there is nothing wrong with it.

A little quote a friend told me. "All that distracts the mind is illusion".
Your friends may be illusion. Your location. Your environment.
Your current position in life. Or past advices and aspects of self.
It's all dependent on what you deem 'mind'. Which is a hard thing
to do but you can start by just asking it quick simple questions.

"Should I go out tonight?" If the immediate response is 'no', then don't.
Don't rationalize it. Don't think about it. Just go with your most immediate
intuition, as in, hone your immediate intuition. You ARE losing your 'mind'.
But understand thats only a certain aspect of mind and with that portion
gone you will just learn to operate off a new set of principles. I have
personally had to remove much thought process and meta-programmings
dealing with rationality and analyzing in the past months. These are not
things that you take into sacred realms of the self. Taking a rational or
analytical mind before God is insulting to him.

And seriously. Do not believe the rationalities or logistics of drunk
people. Honestly, I would say any friend that uses a metaphor of
western psychology towards you is a friend you shouldn't stay around.
It is OK to admit to yourself that you have stumbled onto something
potentially more profound and powerful than any of your 'friends'
can even comprehend. When you do this though you just have to be
humble.

I mean think about, say you find the most powerful source of energy
in the known universe and you can, to a degree, channel it through
yourself and produce words and such off of it. When you go around
just telling people of this energy. Your not "just talking" what you are
doing is channeling an energy that quite literally threatens their ego.
Most people are going to put up a defensive state in their mind against
your current words and actions. They may potentially get offensive
to silence you because just the mere fact of presenting a more powerful
energy to people, no matter what the medium or words your encasing it
in is. Just the mere fact of presenting it, in itself, will cause a certain
reaction. You have to wait until people come to you for such things. Or
just leave very subtle hints.

Try this too. When talking to people, when thinking about things. Stop
thinking in words, stop thinking in metaphors and instead just 'feel' the
various energies going through your head. All delusion, all "mental issues"
reside in the metaphors you use. No actual energy running through your
brain is a delusion, but the metaphors you apply to it can be. So until
you figure out the perfect metaphor to attach to certain energies. Then
don't attach it. I regularly, when watching movies, or talking to people
or listening to things, I regularly go through this process in my head where.
I feel the energy that metaphor would attach to and if attaching that
metaphor does not make me feel better than I just say to myself 'shitty
metaphor' and forget it. And 90% of the metaphors you come across daily
IMO are shitty metaphors because right now society is flooded with them,
we are flooded with bad art, bad euphemisms, bad metaphors.

It does not matter how many PhD's are backing the words. It does not
matter how many friends are backing the words. It does not matter how
rational or logical the words may seem. If taking certains words, concepts
or metaphors into your brain does not make your brain feel better. Then
don't. The brain, the self was not designed and put on this earth to feel
sorry for itself, to feel like it's a perpetual accident. It was put here to
accrue concepts, ideas and abilities to create around it a state of bliss.
Start listening to your brain. If ANY energy. Word, art, idea, concept,
person, animal, thing, location enviroment etc. If any energy does not
make your brain feel better, then admit it to yourself and find one that
does.

 

some amazing posts. the posts that really do make it feel like a load is takin off my shoulders reading some of the stuff.

i can feel like well, this is the stage that is changing my brain my the most, and the brain is changing itself now in a way the most it ever has, and i am in the power now and i can change it any which way, and it has the potential to go any which way, but i have to make it go a certain way, well as long as its a postive way, it feels like if my brain gets things wrong now than im done,
as for mediating i find it too difficult, for one its almost scary the blackness of closing my eyes, and when i try to stop thinking its possible for no more than a for a few seconds even in a very relaxed state.

mind you the guy who mentioned the word shizo isnt one of my good friends, and isnt one i usually hang out with, he doesnt take drugs but has done E's a couple times.

i still think lsd is a very powerfull tool, and has the potential for amazing good, and terrible bad. ofcourse all things have a good and a bad side. so its rediculous for me to think lsd is bad, after some of the amazing things it did do to me, just cause of some misuse of such a powerfull tool.
i think my mind is sweet, i think its easy to let yourself get into the frame of mind of repetitive thinkin that youve gone mad, thus potentiating any madness thats their.
remove all thoughts in relation to drugs and crazyness, and focus on other things is good. still i feel like im rambling so much nonsense,

 

catch a wild PHPD wave or somthing? cool off the mind altering substances for a while and it'll go away, I understand how freaky this shit is for all this you speak of I experiance a whole lot of that as well, I have a close friend who's got it too, burning out from too many mushrooms and acid trim in the old days. the more you obsess about it the more it will manifest itself, in writing these long posts graphicaly describing every detail of every disturbance, thats obsession man.

Dont be afraid of the darkness, there is nothing bad about the darkness, seek it for it is good, takes a lot of distraction away.

South American shamans almost always get their tripping done in total darkness. there is nothing to fear in the darkness, not actual darkness, not darkness in your head, meditation is a powerful tool in pulling your shit together, in the darkness you can free yourself of unnesscessary outside intrusions and focus on what really matters which is your cool and you just need to wait it out, it feels like eternity, may take a couple months, may take a couple years but things will balance out.

 

In order to shine, you need to be surrounded by darknes

 

What above poster said.

In light you may shine, but it may just be reflection, in darkness your shine is from the inside, is that it?