"So what are you doing with yourself now?"

I was at a month's mind recently and I was just after being fired from a job. I dreaded the inevitable questions such as "what are you doing with yourself now?" or the other "where are you now?"

For those who are closely related I don't think there's any point in trying soften the story or make excuses, as that can only make you look worse. It's best to just call a spade a spade. So when the uncle asked me how the new job was going, I looked him dead in the eye, kept my chin up, and answered "I've been sacked". With the way I said it, he thought I was joking! Then he realised that I wasn't.

There were a few others though who asked me throughout the evening who weren't that closely related to me. I'm usually smart about when and when not to lie, so seeing as I knew I'd be talking to lots of people throughout the evening, I didn't want there to be a contraction in my answers for when they'd all go talk to each other later. I decided to be honest with all.

But I'd like to know more about how to handle this question gracefully without having to lie, or without being the guy that everybody ends up feeling sorry for. I would've moved around the bar a bit more if I didn't anticipate this question being asked and over-heard. Having answered to a few, it's funny having to look at people and hear them say "ah look, do you know what, something else will show up" when you know they don't believe it. It's funny that it's only when you actually have a job that you have the confidence to ignore people asking about you, or to just make a joke.

I guess when a lot of people ask this question to folks in their 20s it's just because they can't think of anything else to say. But people should really try and ask other questions first as this one can make them look nosy. I remember a long time ago when I was once asked the question of "what are you doing with yourself" and I answered "as little as possible"! But at the moment that wouldn't be a joke!

 

I think you probably did adequately. It's not an easy topic.

 

for refusing to lift something heavy?

 

Your job sounded awful. I wouldn't feel bad about being fired. I hope you find something a little more sensible to do.

 

Worry not about your image in others eyes and trust that the universe will, in some way, provide man.

In the course of 5 years I lost 3 sons, my mother, my house, 2 jobs, my dog, cat, and wife, not to mention my sanity briefly. When trying to understand, after much rage, fear, sorrow, and self flagellation, not to mention true homelessness, this is the realization I came to.

Peaceful and loving vibes your way brother
RH

 

i agree that you did the right thing being honest. it's not an easy thing; i don't really like those kind of questions, but we all ask them because we don't know how to talk to each other on a meaningful level. Otherwise we could just go up and say "Oh Hi, how you doing? Any interesting dreams lately?" or someone could ask how we're doing and we could say: "I just had a breakthrough in realising that my anger towards my parents has been holding me back and I think I've learned to let go of it." You know? It's not like e v e r y t h i n g has to been deep and meaningful, but just a slightly deeper level of communication would be helpful to everyone, I think.

back to your situation. the discomfort comes from the feeling you will be judged. it can be quite powerful to be honest, and open to judgement, and realise that it doesn't matter, that what they think isn't going to affect you one way or the other. well done for not trying to bullshit.

 

No matter who you work for, you either work for yourself first or they will eat you alive. Already they're using AI and lie detectors, because they are looking for the best possible bargain they can find for cheap labor. Hang out with Mexicans, and they'll tell ya all about how to pretend to be the perfect slave labor. When they ask what you're doing with your life, tell them you are active in your church, trying to save commie souls, and studying to be a rocket scientist in your spare time.

Or, just be yourself, and figure out how you can do that and earn a living.

 

my answer would always be "probably, but i sure can't remember them."

just last night i had one that woke me up in amazement at how creative i am while asleep. like i was sure at the time that it was worthy of being a short story, or maybe a short film. some sort of horror comedy with a clever twist at the end that i never could have come up with while conscious. but by now, that is exactly all i can remember of it. of course, i can clearly remember the dream i had later where i was just climbing around on rooftops for no apparent reason.

 

i always intend to keep a notepad by the bed and write them down upon waking, but i never do.
actually once, in 2009 i went through a phase of writing them on my laptop.
it's weird to read them now, because i don't really remember the dreams or typing them out.. so it's like.. who wrote this