So this gay dude

Well, you can always drop the bitch.

You know? Who's forced to be friends with another?

 

no one. my filthiest lovers are my friends.

 

Would you rather be raped by a straight dude?

Gays are so much better at being women. You wouldn't believe.

Still, my (proper) advice:

• let the dude set you up with chicks,
• make sure to be a bit of a dick to them so that they don't think you're only there to wreck up their snatches, and also so they won't think you're uncomfortable around the homogay,
• if it doesn't work out, pretend to be much drunker than you are and milk your homo for sympathy blowjobs.

You can't lose!

 

Oh, yeah. I'm a good filthy friend. Not a very good platonic friend. But a friend nevertheless.

 

I miss my gay friends. My favorite is Adam. He dresses in drag on the weekends.....he makes an ugly girl but I still love him. haha

He is the BIGGEST cock block I know. Very fierce when men start hanging around his gal pals.

 

That's all very good, except for the sympathy blowjobs. I rather be raped than getting simpathy blow jobs.

 

This chick at the bar the other day was dancing and giving me the business...there with a gay friend.

I said something unmentionable to her, and she said: "I'm with him."

I said, "You guys make a nice couple." And had a blase swig of my favorite beer.

She was piiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssed!!!

LOL!!!

 

I love my gays. Not cockblocks at all. Just cuddle monsters and fine diners.

 

oh that's me right there... i really don't understand why women always want to be my friend, because i'm really not that good of a friend at all...


really i'm only actually nice to people if i think i might be able to have sex with them...

 

hahaha sympathy BJs

now thats funny

 

No. My advice is not to take advice here.

Except with the "I want to fuck you in a church." That will work with some women right off to bat.

What you were doing wrong, as I mentioned earlier, is not initiating contact. Women don't initiate contact very much, and even rarer that they'll push it.

So that leaves you with the options of:

A: Initiate contact. Find a girl you like. Make a move. If your nervous, work though it. Just follow your instincts, chase her down, and do your thing.

or

B: Hope for her to make the move, play it safe, and go shopping with her.

Your a nice guy pants. And you can remain nice while fucking a girl breathless. And thats what any healthy single woman wants. Thats the point of all human relationships.

What are you even worrying about? That you'll get rejected? That happens to the best of us. Happened to me lots of times.

I'm actually immune to pepper spray now.

 

unfortunately my instincts (at least the ones that tell me to touch her) don't really kick in until a week or 2 later once they already have me labeled as best bud and are fucking around with some other ass...

but it's still better than option B, which doesn't work, period.


so yeah, now i'm just waiting around to meet a woman that i can try feeling up whether she seems interested or not...

 

I hope your joking at the latter part of that. Don't feel up a woman who's not intrested.

A week into friend zone, which you should only consider as women you haven[t slept with, for one reason or another, is clearly still in game. Hell three years into friend zone isn't too late to make a move.

Heres what you do, call them up, tell them you can't get them out of your mind, and you want to see them.

You're complicating something easy my man.

 

don't worry, it was indeed a joke... i don't understand social interactions but i'm not that dense...



i still don't think it's that simple though... in my experience the friend zone seems to be something they invented entirely as an excuse to not do anything more with me (yes it has been used explicitly as an excuse for that purpose)


and sure i could make such a phone call, but like i mentioned earlier, the current interest is taken and i don't even know how to go about meeting other women that would want to befriend me

 

Guys can get out of the friend zone. I know one particular asshole that refused to stay in that zone.

Brian you are smart, funny and cute. I think you are just a bit nervous.....and kinda lazy. Otherwise girls would be falling all over you.

 

There are lots of women around. You're not meeting enough? Use your friend for that, she probably has some lady friends.

Do you have a dog? Have him take care of the introductions for you. Having a dogs at the park is basically catching women.

School, museum, library, concerts, park, gym, (catch 'em while their not busy) and the internet. (Ironically)

Where do you live? If it's in the city, you have a million or so potential partners who are just waiting for you to meet them.

 

He is a really witty cool guy. Smart. I've never seen a picture, but assuming you aren't a troll, you've got everything you need.

Go out there and just start approaching more women, that's the best way to build confidence. You remember when you started driving and at first it was a little scary and then it was fun.

That's what meeting womens like.

I'm so skilled at it, now it's exactly like driving. An unavoidable chore. I can't get all these women to step off. I feel like Austin Powers.

 

True. Takes alot of work and time and maybe a disappearing act.

 

Disappearing act? Like going on a vacation, coming back and telling her you were thinking about her the whole time?

Cause that seems like it'd stand a good shot and it would get him a vacation.

Take some time off pants, you deserve it. Go somewhere exotic.

 

well i have no pets... out of school, museum or library could theoretically work, although i haven't seen many women at either one so far, i rarely go to concerts or the gym... so i guess that leaves the park for me...

yeah, i live in the city, but i'm currently on the outskirts where all the females are either in high school, or are already happily married. even when i was in toledo proper, the girls that aren't there for college are generally dirty white trash or worse...

oh, and my friend is much less help than you would think... she works and goes to school full time so she basically has time for her boyfriend and one other friend: me...

and even on the rare occasion that she does have her old female friends around, they are all married or close enough that they might as well be.

plus i don't even know how much she wants to help me anymore; i've been pretty mean to her these last couple weeks (not intentionally, i've just been frustrated)

as much as i hate to admit it, i think there is also a lot of truth to that too...