So this gay dude

i love love love gay men

my one friend used to make out with every single girl at parties, i swear he just played gay to get the girls

i need a new gay man though, the two that i used to have have run away without me

 

UnderWear, seriously let's rap. Remember my advice threads? I'm well renown for advice.

What's your situation?

 

I'll be your gay friend. If you make out with me...

 

I'd rather you had a hard spot, but I'll take what I can get.

....wow, that was fucking AWFUL. Sorry. Pretend that didn't happen.

 

OMFG one of my gay friends does that too! He makes out with like every girl in the world. I'm convinced he's straight. He'll just go up to girls, like, "Hi I'm gay, wanna make out?"

...I've made out with him. Not too bad.

 

oh my god i know that
gay men seem to have no filter when it comes to sex talk, they'll put all the details out there, even if no one wants to hear it

 

i don't remember if i've made out with him or not
i used to drink heavily at those parties....

i wouldn't be too surprised if i did, i'd make out with everyone at those parties...

 

Okay, maybe you're not very good at being a pervert.

 

ESPECIALLY if no one wants to hear it.

 

Maybe I need private lessons.

 

being a pervert is actually pretty easy
i'm remarkably good at it, and creeping people out
it's like a natural gift god gave me


heres one trick, instead of going for a handshake, go for the crotch

 

Underwear, I'm without a doubt convinced that you can have this woman.

Lemme know if you want to talk.

 

Anyone want to start a betting pool on how long it takes for Lode to come out with his own dating help book?

I thought I was awesome at being a perv, but I'm off my game or something today.

 

she currently has a boyfriend...



i'm really pretty sure it's too late for anything to ever happen with this one anyway; i just need to wait until i meet another woman who wants to be my friend...

 

Molly, I'm not really all that analytical with it. I just know I deserve what I want and follow my instincts.

I have considered writing a self help book a few times though.

Well do you like her boyfriend? More importantly how much do you like her?

Otherwise, planty of fish in the barrel Underwear. Why are you resigning yourself now?

Bad experiences in the past? Because you can get over them. You're not just the sum of your experiences.

My advice would be that it may be a lot easier to find someone new. Although it's up to you anyway. What kinda girl you looking for?

 

i don't really know the boyfriend that well, but he seems like a decent guy. i like her quite a lot, but i could get over it if someone else came along, or even if i could just not see her for a while, but that's almost impossible due to work and the fact that she thinks i'm her best friend...

yeah, i'm pretty much resigning myself because of the past. i figure the fact that every woman i've ever been interested in wants to be my friend and nothing more can't be simply a coincidence; there must be something about me that makes them feel that way.


i'd like to find someone new, but these days i don't meet any women that aren't either in high school or married....

 

Those are some of the most fun to mess with.


Library, free seminars, and the Cadillac dealership are great places to meet women. Educated, motivated, and wealthy women all over these three.

Never the bus stop, laundry mat, dollar store, dive bar, or probation office. They either can't stay out of trouble or they can't afford to even take care of themselves let alone you.

 

You know what? I've known lots of guys like you, and here's the secret with you guys: When we first meet you, we want to get in your pants. You're so nice and funny and cool, we get a HUGE crush on you, like, immediately.

But two days later you're so easy to talk to that we've had all these deep conversations with you, and some of them invariably ended up being about boys, and woop! Now it's too late and we see you as a friend.

The secret, Cap, is you gotta strike FAST when you're like you. Move quickly. Don't give me a chance to whine about my boy problems with you. By three hours after you meet me, you should have made a move on me. Because seriously - seriously! - we would LOVE for you to get in our pants three hours after we met you.

Concur, Lode?

 

i'm all awkward for the first week i know someone anyway



but i've pretty much been getting the impression that what you say is the truth; unfortunately i never meet anyone anymore so i don't get to try out this new concept of forcing myself upon women...

 

There is something about you that's making women see you as a friend rather then a partner.

I'll write about it more in a sec. Gotta go, but it's in your delivery of the mesage, it's not something inherent in your personality.