So Indecisive About.. EVERYTHING!

I've gone through a lot of shit in the few years. A handful of close deaths, especially a few weeks ago. Part of me doesn't want to say anything, part of me does.

A woman on a site like this gave me her number. She has dealt with similar things. I want to talk to her, but I'm hesitant. About everything.

My imagination is out of control. I'm just trying to lessen the damage.

I've noticed this for years, but of course it's going to be elevated now - this overstimulation. People just overwhelm me. Or, even after they leave, my mind is still either continuing the conversation, or going back to edit, "Why didn't say ______", and I have noticed a trend with my sleep (the most important thing for me right now), and that when I have people over, chances are it's going to be a night I can't go back to sleep. Too much shit on my mind. Maybe the first thing when I have to wake up and take a leak.

But, it's a great "time-killer". I'm too depressed to do anything of worth. And no money to do the rest. Today is the third day of this flu, but I hope it goes away.

Fantasy/imagination.. I can't help but imagine, constantly. Maybe I saw too many older movies, but they are alluring; the idea a woman who insists, saves, and loves a man who is at the bottom.

 

Overthinking, depression, anxiety, sleep problems...I have dealt with all of that for most of my life. The last few years, I finally found that these are actually things I can overcome, before I always thought it was something I had no control over. For me, learning more about mental health helped but the biggest thing has been meditation. Learning how to quiet my mind when I begin to get overwhelmed was amazing but it goes way beyond that too. It takes a lot of practice but once you begin to make it a habit, it gets a lot easier.

Contrary to what movies portray, one person can't "fix" another. They can offer support, certainly, but the real work has to come from within. Most of those movies actually show a lot of toxic behaviors and codependent situations. I have been through that too. I would like to think that my next relationship will be so much healthier than my previous ones now that I have the knowledge and tools that I have developed these past few years.

 

Where do I find one of those. LOL

 

we all have baggage, most of us unintentionally. life happens.
and you don't have to call yourself confused to be hesitant in today's world (or any world for that matter),
to accept that the unknown is unknown, and some (maybe most) of the time, that can be a very good thing,
(and almost the only thing that ever is certain)

and its only overthinking when it becomes self fulfilling expectation.
a hug is always good, even when it doesn't mean anything else.
meditation, as in pausing the internal dialogue, is a good thing to do once in a while.

also (it helps, me at least) to visit beautiful places in your sleep.

 

I am still trying to work out how one of the trolls, if he REALLY existed, got more than double the number of likes than posts. Perhaps he was fond of a bit of candy.
The lost and bewildered souls are what this forum is largely about and make it worth my time on here. Unfortunately, a few of them have posted when they were either blind drunk or sky high and got themselves banned.

 

Compulsive thinking and emoting resulting in anxiety and insomnia is a common problem these days.

You can try out meditation , deep breathing and muscle relaxation exercises to unwind yourself, clear your mind and relax deeply.

I would say it is your self-dialogue that is causing the depression by bringing sad past memories to the center. In eastern philosophy, this is a sign of the untamed mind enslaved by past memories and future imagination, and unable to live in present moment awareness. In present moment awareness or mindfulness, the mind returns to its natural state of peace and happiness, which is obviously healthier. You will find yourself functioning better and sleeping well in this state.

You can find some tips for beating insomnia in this article.

Fall asleep faster with mental tricks that calm your racing mind | CNN

 

I feel ya'.
Down to 3 days of amoxicillin
Been struggling with walking pneumonia for about 6 months but they kept saying "bronchitis" so no antibiotics till last week when I told them I was seeing blood in my Mucous. (Which reminds me of day old Chicken Ramen of all things)

The low grade fever and chills.are mostly gone but still feel spent and bounced down 10 flights of stairs.

I know sleep.is important shit because I get so little and at times even conversations by text are too strenuous.
Theraflu has helped a bit but not as much as se good ole' background noise to override other noises that would otherwise wake me up.
I find rain and thunderstorms helpful, trains too, maybe a yule log video so not only is there the snap and crackle but the hypnotic flickering of the fire as well.

I'd give this a whirl to start.

 

Thank you, and to everyone else. I clicked on the link, and I already do most of that, except thinking about "shit" right before bed.. I've become more routine, since I notice an improvement in sleep. I watch the same old b&w western shows on cable.. Currently, "The Rifleman". A show about a widowed man with his son making a new life for them out west. When they're out in the middle of nowhere, and have to make a fire, and sleep, it helps, even when I enter bed, or when I have to get up to pee.

 

I think it's just for my imagination. To fantasize hoping the misery isn't so bad of ... living now.

 

I think it's just for my imagination. To fantasize hoping the misery isn't so bad of ... living now.

 

everyone goes through everything. no one is alone in doing so. we all do. maybe not all the same everything, but still.
the way the rest of us survive is to try and enjoy the scenery, or make it up in out own minds without loosing track of doing so.
"the voices in my head are for entertainment purposes only"
and the one thing i don't believe in, is for the unknown to owe anything to the refusal of the human ego, to accept that it is, unknown.