So, I have finally accepted my true feelings. I love women and I want to be with them. I feel comfortable with the fact that I am a lesbian, in fact I finally feel free. But now what? How do I go about this? Where do I start? I want to kiss and touch another woman so badly not only because I want to but because I want to know what it feels like. I feel like an adolescent teen all over again, but this time it's obviously more complicated. It feels like a fire that has been burning for decades (I'm 24) and it has just built up. I honestly feel that what I am feeling is similar to the "blue balls" feeling, only it's also emotional and passionate. I live in a small town so that makes it difficult for me, although I am about an hour away from a large city. I am also a bit nervous about it, but it's the exciting kind of nervous! Any helpful advice will be greatly appreciated!
To LaurBear, It's dating. It's soecialized dating, for sure, but it is just dating. Go to the city. Find the bookstores, cafes, bars and whatnot that cater to LGBT folks. Find the hiking groups, the fly fishing outings, the dance classes, whatever is big. And support groups for LGBT youth exist.
Stupid, the title of my post is supposed to say: so, I'm a lesbian, now what? That's what happens when you do these things at four in the morning. Glee glen I apologize, that may have been me. New to this whole forum thing. Drummingmama, thank you for the advice!
I suspect that whomever moved this to lesbian, if it wasn't started here (I'm late to this party), forgot to note that. Males aren't to post in lesbian because many straight dudes have made this section a cesspool over the years.
just to clear things up...nothing here was deleted...nothing here was moved o.p. posted twice..once here and once in the forum issues section...GlenGlen replied to the forum issues and suggested she should post it here in the lesbian section and then the one in issues section was moved to trashbin probably after noticing this same thread in lesbian section updated title correction
Oh my god I feel you 100%... I'm 24 as well and I live in Canada too. I'm kind of in the same boat, except that I'm not out yet and can't come out for now due to a certain complicated situation. I don't know for how long I'll be stuck in the closet, but it's pretty hard. I want to be with a woman so bad, just like you. In every possible way. The desire, physical and emotional, can be very overwhelming at times. And it's hard to keep all these feelings inside and for myself. I live in a very small town and my only chance will be online dating I guess. When you don't live in a big city, online is the best to meet someone I think. We have to be ready for long distance relationships, that's pretty much for sure. But it's worth it. I would start with online dating and would also try talking to your friends/family about if they know any lesbian. You could also go to some lesbian clubs or bars in that city you're talking about, but it may not be the best place. It depends on what you're looking for. I wish I could do that...
Girl online is great! I tried pof and I lucked out and found this amazing girl I have been talking to! She lives three hours away but I have friends in the same city. Honestly I just decided I would be patient and boom there she was. I wish you all the best on your journey! Good luck to you! And thanks for the advice!
If you're looking for casual dating, a lesbian bar is a good way to go (or a gay bar, they usually have ladies' nights). I honestly do feel that online dating is the best option, especially if you're in the closet. You can screen out people you don't click with mentally, and not waste time and money going out on dates with acquaintances that you would have not gone out with if you had known them a little better. You can talk to people you might have never met in person just going about your day. I was in the closet when I decided I was going to start looking for a woman to date. I didn't know much about the gay scene, and had only had one gay friend. So I went online and I met my current girlfriend (of six months now) within 3 weeks of making my profile. I kept it secret for a while but it got more difficult as I started seeing her more often (I used to be a homebody and now I was going out all the time until late...I did a bad job of hiding it) and things got serious. Just a word of advice, if you don't want to have to tell the people in your community or your family, unfortunately you're going to have to make an effort to not let anyone find out. It can get exhausting, as it did for me. I eventually came out to my mother and she hasn't spoken more than a few sentences to me in months. I'm not trying to scare you, I'm just telling you my experience with this kind of thing. Also, don't let anyone pressure you into coming out. You have to do it when you're ready. If you want to vent to someone, you can message me if you like.
We're out there - we're everywhere, but mostly we're just normal people who are getting on with life as best we can and probably stay a little closeted, but we're there and like you,like many people in society, many of us are looking for love, and lowering the bar a little, maybe just a bit of normal fun sex. I do feel that you probably need to move to a larger urban area. Although my experience of small towns is pretty small, I can imagine the loneliness you must feel, as on probability alone, there may be a very limited and probably highly closeted number of people with similar sexuality. Gay bars are a good start, but also, the majority of us have either never or rarely, been to one. Just circulate. You'll learn a few of the "tricks of the trade" so to speak on how to identify and then communicate with woman of similar sexuality. It's hard! All dating, regardless of sexuality is hard for most folks, but most in the end do alright. Just hang in there. Love will come.
Some people swear by online dating. I think that's a quick ticket to finding a fucking weirdo... But, there are some decent people on dating sites. They're just few and far between. Might be a good start to getting some interaction with other females and becoming comfortable. Every big city (and a lot of decent sized cities) have gay and/or lesbian bars. That's your best bet. Besides, alcohol makes everything easier. Go a few times and next thing you know, you'll probably know plenty of lesbians.
